I Felt Ready Now
by MayAnderson19
Summary: What if Alicia and Will were to have a truly honest conversation? It could be what they both needed.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Hi all! This is first fanfiction. I just had this idea in the back of my head and I had to see it be played out. Being new, I will accept any sort of review you can give, good and bad! But please enjoy this anyhow! And I do not own these lovely characters.

It had been a few weeks since she and Will had faced off in court. She was relieved by it actually. All that fighting was actually taking more out of her than she could imagine. Alicia told herself at night after a long day in court against him that it was good. It was just court room exercises she thought after taking a sip of her nightly glass of red wine. But she was just lying to herself. It was draining her, day after day. She knew Will would probably always still hurt after what she did, and she could live with that, but she couldn't live with fighting him head on all the time. It was slowly killing her.

Cary was noticing it too. She would come into work some mornings, travel mug full of the strongest coffee on Earth, looking drained. Cary knew it must be hard for her, and she was doing her best not to let it affect the other cases they had but sometimes she would just slip up and make a mistake by letting things slide by in court, or misplace some files. He felt sympathy for her. It mustn't be easy being Alicia Florrick these days, he thought.

Though with having not much of the fighting recently, the times her and Will did happen to walk by each other in court there wasn't a mean name said under his breath nor were there any evil glares from either of them. She thought it was impossible, but it seemed that things were gradually getting better, at a rate slower than that of a snail, of course.

One late Thursday night while Alicia was sitting at her desk trying to find something in her files for a case, Robyn came into the office. Alicia had sent her out to find dirt on a client. This particular one had a habit of not telling the whole truth, ever.

"Robyn, hey. Did you find something about Mrs. Henderson?" Alicia said to her as she walked right up to Alicia's desk.

"Yep. I thought that Mrs. Henderson was probably just going to a bar or club and drinking with her friends every Friday, like she had said. Imagine that, her telling the truth about something, but it turns out she has a boy toy. Her gardener, to be specific." Robyn raised her eyebrows and smirked a little as she finished her sentence. Alicia just looked at her, then the edge of her mouth edged up, showing a small half smile.

"This is good, but we have to have more. An affair doesn't exactly prove that she had anything to do with feeding her neighbor's dog laxatives."

"I thought about that. We could get her gardener to come into court and testify that she told him she was doing it. He may have helped her, so we could always just let it fall on him if it comes to it." Robyn was sometimes very ruthless, Alicia soon found out.

"How would we know she told him or helped him?" Alicia threw back at Robyn.

"I followed her to a bar tonight where she was meeting him and they seemed more than satisfied and cozy with each other. I don't think we're just looking at some frivolous affair. I think they have real feelings for each other." That hit a spot in Alicia that she wasn't expecting. She knew it was more than a frivolous affair with Will. But she quickly removed that thought from her mind and focused on Robyn.

"Okay, that seems like it could work. Good job Robyn. Now go home and get some sleep." She gave Robyn a tired smile.

"You should do the exact same Alicia. Good night." And with that, Robyn left. Alicia knew she was right. She couldn't stay at the firm all night. Though the kids were fine on their own by now she didn't feel right with staying late all the time and not being there for them. It was only a matter of time before Zach would leave for college and she needed to spend extra time with him.

As she was packing up her things she heard the little _whoosh_ from her computer alerting her of a new email. It was probably Cary telling her that she should make sure to take a new client of theirs out to lunch next week. She sat back down at her desk and read who the sender was.

_Will Gardner._

Alicia let out a heavy sigh. She did not have the time or energy for Will to come after her with another law suit again. She reluctantly opened the email up and started to read.

"Mrs. Florrick,  
Alicia,  
I am well aware of how we have been fighting in court recently, it has been interesting, has it not? But I thought that we could meet at my office sometime tomorrow. I have a matter I would like to discuss with you, and I assure you that it is not another case.  
Let me know what time suits you the best and I will make an opening in my schedule.

Will Gardner,  
Managing partner, Lockhart/Gardner."

Well that was rather unexpected, Alicia thought to herself. He had even written her first name. Something was definitely wrong with that picture. Before Alicia could even start to think to decipher his email, she packed the rest of her things, left the office and drove home.

* * *

Will didn't know if what he was doing was right or not, but he knew he had to give it a try. Kalinda had talked him into it, of course. Though with Kalinda he could very well talking himself into it and she never even had a part in his decision. That was Kalinda.

What was he doing, he thought to himself as he drove home. She won't even think twice about coming to meet him. She would never do it if it wasn't for a case. With how he had been lately, he wasn't sure she would even do it for a case. But that is what you get for betraying me and the firm, he told himself.

All Will knew was that he needed to straighten out a few things. He could very well be leaving for New York soon to get the new branch of L/G up and running, and he couldn't just leave Chicago without knowing why she had left the firm. Left _him. _He would go mad from it. Isabel had decided she would go with him, he was receptive to that idea. She convinced him that she could always transfer schools or just pick it up again later if and when she was back in Chicago, whatever 'it' was. He never really asked what she was studying.

He knew he would have to keep moving on from Alicia, but he wasn't used to unturned tables lately. He needed to know everything from everyone since the betrayal.

But was he actually asking her to come to his office? Was he going to tell her to have a seat and jump in with "Tell me the truth about why you left. Don't try and lie to me because we both know you are a bigger person that that." Or so he thought. He didn't know anything about Alicia anymore. He barely recognized her now. Even when he looked to her eyes, he didn't know what he saw. Her eyes used to mean so much to him. That gorgeous shade of hazel with a ring of brown around the pupil. Her eyes used to be something he could look at and instantly feel a warm feeling inside. It was different now. They weren't cold, but they were Alicia either.

As Will crawled into his bed that night, alone, he let his mind roam free and for the first night in many he dreamed about her warm, loving, gorgeous eyes.

* * *

Alicia was sitting at her desk at 9.13 in the morning the next day, laptop open and ready to type a reply to Will's message from the night before. She searched her brain for a reason that would sound plausible enough to deny his offer, but she couldn't come up with anything.

At 9.42, accomplishing nothing but successfully breathing, she finally started to type a response.

"Mr. Gardner,  
Will,  
If it really is so imperative that we meet then I can make 2.30PM work. I hope that is appropriate for you, as you said you would make some time at my earliest convenience. I'll see you then.

Alicia Florrick,  
Managing partner, Florrick/Agos and Associates."

_Send._

The rest of her morning wasn't eventful in the slightest. She tried to get on with as much work as she could but she wasn't doing a great job at doing anything. A couple of associates asked her about cases, which she almost yelled at in excitement over something productive to do.

As 2 o'clock rolled around she could barely sit still in her chair. Her whole body was vibrating with nerves over her upcoming meeting. She let Cary know she was leaving for a meeting and then left.

She hadn't been at Lockhart/Gardner in quite some time, but the employees there were still cautious over her presence. They still eyed her as she walked into the lobby from the elevator. Most of them tried to look as if they were doing something, anything, that wasn't snooping. The first couple of times when she walked in she had enjoyed how she made everyone feel and act. She felt superior to them all, but now it felt dull and old. She didn't want to be the person these people talked about behind her back anymore. She had been there and done that and it was worn out.

Alicia walked through reception and directed her nervous body and shaking legs to his office. She didn't dare to look down the hallway to see her old office, worried that she would see David Lee and hear his Judas cries. That was getting rather old too.

She began to slow down when she neared his door. She looked across the way and saw that Diane was not in her office. Things were just as awkward with Diane but seemed to be getting better with them as well, at a slightly faster rate than with Will.

She turned back to Will's office and saw him sitting at his desk with his head buried in files and law books. She knocked lightly on the glass and watched as his head shot up. She couldn't be sure but it was almost as if he had a small glint of delight in his eyes at seeing her outside his door. It must have been her imagination, she thought to herself. He waved his hand to invite her in. She carefully opened the door and shut it again. She took a few steps in.

"Please, sit." He said as he moved his hand to show her one of the chairs at his desk. She walked further in, placed her bag and coat on the other chair at his desk, and sat. She gave him a small smile, crossed her legs and placed her hands in her lap. Trying ever so hard not to let him see that they were shaking.

"Hi." Is all he said.

"Hello." They sat in silence for a few seconds before he spoke again.

"You are probably wondering why I asked you here today." He looked down at his desk and started to clear up some of the pages from his case files.

"Yes." Offering very little to the conversation. He asked her here, but she had no intention of making this easy for him. It perhaps wasn't fair, but then again, perhaps it was.

"I'm not sure if you know, but L/G is opening a new branch in New York." He paused to wait for her reaction. There wasn't one. He continued. "I am going to go out there to get it up and running. I'm not sure for how long yet but it'll take at least a couple months. Hell, I might even stay there." He held his hands together and looked towards the window, then to Alicia. She had a complex look on her face. He couldn't pick up on how she was taking this.

"I guess, congratulations?" She made it a question. An obvious sign of hostility. He couldn't blame her, he wasn't approaching this well.

"I guess so. That still isn't the reason why I asked you here." He admitted. That got her attention to shift more to him.

"Well then, enlighten me as to why I am here." She looked up at him with an intrigued and sarcastic look upon her face. She was getting tired of him dodging whatever it was he had to tell her. Everything was getting old and tired.

"I… Before I leave, I have to confront you." He detected confusion in her eyes, then a hint of anger. He held up his hands in a way to assure her that it won't be like every other time. "Don't worry, I won't be hostile." Her faced calmed at what he had said. She shifted her legs a little out of frustration that was now charging through her whole body.

He started again. "I have to ask…" He looked down at his hands. His knuckles were white, he was nervous as hell. "I just have to get an honest answer out of you. Why…" His voice dimmed to a husky whisper. "Why did you leave?" He couldn't bear to look at her face now.

Alicia knew there was no getting out of this one. He wasn't yelling or screaming at her so she felt a little obligated to give him a truthful answer. He hadn't wanted to hear it at first, so she was now grateful for the opportunity to explain now. She breathed in and let out a deep sigh.

"I was upset about the votes that night. I was frustrated with a lot of things. And then… the _thing_ in the car happened and I just didn't know what would happen. Then we got the votes in for Peter, and I went to Peter's party and… I thought I saw you there." He looked up at her and saw her eyes again. _Her_ eyes. There was a glimmer of vulnerability in them. That must have been the secret to them. She continued and he kept his eyes on her, fixated. "It was something I had been thinking about over a few hours, and when I thought I saw you I felt… Excitement. Then it wasn't you and I knew that I couldn't carry on with living like that. Hoping I saw you and could just talk to you. Not when Peter and I were making some sort of progress. I just decided almost right there and then that I had to leave. I knew Cary was going and it just seemed like the perfect opportunity."

She thought she had put a small about of desperation in her voice in that last part. Not on purpose, and she wasn't even sure Will would pick up on it. She saw him look down at his hands again, he rubbed them together. He nodded his head a little.

"So it was just about me." He concluded, not question in his voice. He knew.

"Yes, but please believe me when I say that it wasn't meant to be a betrayal. I had to do what was right for me. You know I talked about having my own firm that I could build from the ground up. I was grateful for your offer of taking Diane's place, but I wanted something that was true and mine. I would have told you I was leaving with Cary to start the firm had you not figured it out beforehand." She tried to look him in the eye but he was still looking down. He was feeling angry, and hurt. Of course he was. She had probably brought back some Georgetown memories, but she was just being honest. Even though she hadn't meant to betray him like she did, he would have felt an insufferable amount of pain from it.

"Okay." It seemed like years before he spoke, and that was the only thing he said.

"Okay?" She responded. He looked at her again when he knew he could keep his feelings in line.

"Okay." He said with as much of a stable voice he could manage. They sat there for five, maybe ten, maybe twenty minutes. Alicia finally decided to get up and grab her things. She stood between the chairs at his desk.

"I'll go now then. Work to do." He looked up at her and nodded slowly. She turned on her heels and took a couple steps before turning back around. Will tilted his left to the right with a confused look on his face, his eyes on the verge of becoming those infamous puppy eyes. "I don't know why you wanted me to explain it now, but thank you for letting me. I'm sorry for it all." She sounded extremely genuine and he recognized that.

"I just wanted to know before I left, I felt ready now." He told her. She smiled a little in that all-knowing way she does for him, and nodded. She turned around once more and headed to the door. Her hand was on the door-knob when she heard him get up from his chair and "Alicia", called her name. She turned back at him again. He was walking around his desk and planted his feet firmly in the center of his office. His shoved him hands in his pants pockets. He opened his mouth to say something but she quickly jumped in first.

"Things won't ever be the same, will they?" She asked with such a low, soft voice.

"No. Things will never be the same." She nodded at his definitive statement and let out a breath that could have been a small laugh.

"I'm going to be sorry forever, Will. You'll never know how sorry." And with that, she opened the door and walked out. She felt sad, and confused, and stunned about what had just happened. If there was anything that she needed to do lately, it was to have the most honest conversation she has probably ever had with Will.

Walking down the hallway to the elevators, she had a sense of nostalgia about the day she broke things off with Will; she had stumbled her way back down the hallway to her office and straight into the bathroom to silently cry a little bit and then fixed her make-up to carry on like nothing had ever happened.

Though this time, she didn't feel like she had probably just broken the man who was probably the first to love her. She felt like she helped him piece himself together, just a little bit.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I am so overwhelmed with your responses to my writing! I appreciate all your reviews and follows so much! Thanks to the reviewers, goodwifefan5, guategal, StrawberrySab, Ladybug-Jojo, Elisa, Steffili and BeTheIntegrity! I didn't know whether I would continue but you have inspired me to keep it going! I adore these sides in Alicia and Will and I miss then so much, so I had to see them again! Please, please enjoy.  
And I do not own any of these glorious characters.

* * *

As Will was walking out of his office that same night he had his talk with Alicia, he received a text from Isabel.

'Hey Will, if you aren't working I can come over to your place? ;) xo'

He was not in any condition to see Isabel that night, let alone partake in any activities she would want to do. He hadn't wanted to think too much about his earlier meeting but it was all he could think about. He thought about how nervous he felt at 2.24 and wondered if she would be early. Maybe she would be late and keep him waiting. He had gotten out as much work as he could so it looked as though he was extremely busy, but it was all for show. She got to his office at exactly the time she had said and he had to think that through later. He had to go over every little thing said, and every little thing not said.

He walked through the offices and into the elevator. When it had hit the ground floor and the doors opened he saw Kalinda standing there, tapping her tall boot on the ground with her notebook in her hands. As she looked up and saw him she raised an eyebrow.

"You look like could use a drink." She said to him. He must have looked terrible, he thought.

"I probably could." He stepped out of the elevator and expected to see Kalinda get in. She turned to face him instead.

"Then let's go get one." She turned on her heel and started to walk out of the building. He didn't do anything but follow her. He really could use a drink with Kalinda.

* * *

They arrived at their usual bar and sat at the counter. Will got a beer for them both and Kalinda got them a tequila shot each. They threw back their shots and sat in silence.

"You talked to Alicia then?" Kalinda started their inevitable conversation on this topic.

"Yep." He took a sip of his beer and just stared at his glass.

"What did she say?"

Will paused. He was ready to talk about it but he still couldn't believe how easy the conversation he had with Alicia was. "She told me why she left, because I asked." He said with a deep voice. Kalinda nodded and took a sip of her drink.

"Why did you ask?" She was genuinely curious. She knew that a week ago Will could barely care why she left the firm, she knew that she convinced Will to talk to her. She knew a lot of things, this just added to the list.

"I needed to hear her say… _Why_ exactly she left. No lies."

Kalinda just looked at Will. "And she just told you? The actual truth?" Will nodded and took a bigger sip of his beer. "That doesn't sound like Alicia much. Just saying something." She looked down at her drink.

"I know. I can't figure out why she would just say what her reasons were. I don't know why she agreed to see me in the first place. Maybe she is just a new Alicia." He drank some more beer.

"Maybe she's just as tired as you are."

And that was all they said on that matter. Will would think about it at a later time, alcohol would not help his thoughts at all. They drank some more, discussed random topics and took cabs home. Will never replied to Isabel and he didn't care one bit.

* * *

It was a little more than a week since her meeting with Will and Alicia wasn't feeling her best afterwards. She couldn't sleep for three nights after it, thinking that she had probably messed their relationship up more than she really intended. If there was still a relationship there. They weren't exactly friends anymore, but they didn't seem to hate each other either. Otherwise they wouldn't have been so civil with one another. She knew she was still tired of everything. Starting this new firm, which was wonderful and her dream, left her no time to just take an hour to relax and rejuvenate.

She was in court for the day and that just drained her even more than usual. Her current case seemed easy on the outside but her witnesses were unreliable and as a result she wasn't getting far. They were mostly uncooperative and it was a lot of work to get them court-ready. Cary was helping as much as he could but even then their clients were not easy.

Alicia told Cary that after court she just couldn't go back to the office for the rest of the day and work from home. He told her she deserved it and she should be with her kids. He was getting to be a really wonderful partner. Possibly the best she could ask for.

Before she left for home she stopped by a coffee cart in the court house. She was lining up and heard someone stand behind her.

"Alicia, that you?" She heard his voice. It sounded almost pleased. She spun around and looked at his eyes. _Gorgeous eyes_. No, not gorgeous she quickly thought. She politely smiled at Will.

"Hi Will." He smiled back at her.

"Getting a caffeine hit before going back to the office?" Was he really making conversation? It was unusual to say the least.

"Uh, yes. Big day in court." She was willing to play along, it might be nice.

"Same." He laughed very quietly. She gave a full smile and bowed her head. They noticed the line moving so Alicia turned around with her back to Will and they took their new places. Apparently a lot of people had a bad day in court. The line eventually got shorter and Alicia made her way to the front, without speaking another word to Will. She ordered her simple latté, received it and was ready to walk away when Will called to her. She spun around.

"Do you want to have this cup of coffee together?" She detected that he was nervous about asking her because that wasn't the most well-structured sentence he could have gone with. She gave it a little thought and then glanced at her watch, Will watching her the whole time. She looked back up at him.

"I guess I have some time, sure." She half smiled and waited until he got his cup. _Double espresso with two sugars and a splash of milk. _She knew his order, and might never forget it. They made their way outside and sat down on a bench together.

"How have you been?" She asked him with a sweet tone in her soft voice.

"Good. Working hard." He softly laughed, she smiled. This seemed normal.

"As have I." They both took a sip of their hot coffee. Will wondered why he asked her to have coffee. He couldn't think of why not and that was it, he asked her.

"Do you know when you leave for New York?" She asked him and looked into his eyes. He looked back at her.

"I have about three weeks I think. We found some offices and we are getting them redone. Diane went out last weekend to get the look right. I'm no good at designing that stuff." He laughed and she joined.

"I know you aren't." He darted his eyes at her waiting for the explanation. "I remember that day you brought in that new couch for your office, it was terrible." She laughed heartily.

"I thought that couch suited my office." He defended himself.

"It really didn't. The green was awful." She was still laughing.

"I'm glad you told me to get of it then. I would have kept it." He turned his head and looked out to the road in front of them.

"I know you would have." She took a sip of her coffee and started out onto the same road. "Diane would have told you to get rid of it if I hadn't." She told him.

"She saw the movers take it downstairs and had this disgusted look in her eye." He showed her the face and they both burst with laughter. They both noted to themselves how good it felt just to laugh with each other. To laugh in general actually, it had been a dreary time for them both lately. Then they stopped, paused for a moment and simultaneously took a gulp of coffee.

"How is Diane? Is married life treating her well?" Alicia asked him with a flat voice.

"Seems to be. She looks happier most of the time." Alicia nodded.

"Tell her… I don't know. Never mind." Alicia stopped herself from letting that slip.

"Tell her what?" Will wasn't letting her stop there.

"Just… Tell her hi from me?" She seemed reserved but she didn't know if she could say hello to Diane through Will, or at all. She had never had any sort of talk with Diane. Yet.

"I will. I'm sure she'll appreciate it." He was obviously just making her feel better. Diane would probably roll her eyes and ask him why he was saying hi for Alicia. He would have to tell Diane about his conversation with Alicia eventually. It just seemed right to tell her.

Alicia took a glance at her watch. "I better go. I have to make dinner for Peter and the kids." She told him, with a sprinkle of sympathy in her voice. She was strangely enjoying this little coffee break. It made her think that things could be the same, even though they both knew they never would. It would be too weird going back to that now. Alicia had hope about it though, especially after this encounter.

"Right, okay. I'll see you around then." She smiled and got up. Just as she got up he called to her again. He was getting his fair share of those lately. "I…" She waited for whatever he wanted to say. "I have a sort of, girlfriend."

Why did he have to open his big mouth and tell her that, he though angrily to himself. She looked startled. She really wasn't expecting that. There were a dozen emotions running through her face and he couldn't pick up on one. They changed too quickly. Finally she settled on _that_ look. The one she uses when she is in public and campaigning for Peter. The plastered one, with the fake smile, that she always used to tell him that she hated she had to do it so much.

"Oh. Good. I hope you're happy with each other, Will. I really do." Her voice sounded fake too. He knew she wasn't swallowing this information easy.

"Thanks. We are." He forced that out. He didn't know if he was happy, he was just enjoying it.

"Well, I have to get going now. Bye." She said and walked away. Trying to hold herself together for a while longer so she could walk to her car. Alicia had no idea why it bothered her so much. She told him herself that he should just get over her, but that was in a moment of heat and she had to say something snarky. She got to her car alright, got in and sat in her seat for a few minutes trying to compose herself. She had to stop thinking about it before she began to drive otherwise she didn't know who could get hurt on the road.

* * *

"Kids, dinner!" Alicia called out to her children as she took the pasta bake and roast potatoes out of the oven. She rarely got to cook them a proper meal these days and tried to do something she never had time to do anymore.

Grace came out first. "Mom, that smells really good."

"Why thank you Grace." She smiled at her daughter. "Can you get some cutlery for us three, please?" Alicia asked her daughter as she served everybody a plate of the food.

"Us three? Where's dad?" Zack asked as he came into the kitchen. Grace pulled out enough knives and forks and set them in a pile on the table next to their plates on the kitchen counter.

"Your dad called earlier saying he'll be a little late. Eli needed him for something." The kids both nodded, took their plates and cutlery, and took a seat at the dining table. They ate and made mild conversation about their day. Grace telling her mom and brother about something funny that happened at lunch with her friends, and Zach telling them that he started to finish off his final assignments, and that they were killing off his brain cells in the process. They all laughed and had a nice family dinner. Even if Peter wasn't there, but that was how it was for most of their lives.

A while after dinner Alicia's phone rang. She ran to get it from her bedroom. Her and the kids decided to watch a movie after dinner, like old times. She looked at the caller ID.

_Peter_

She knew he was either calling to say he'll be right up, or that he won't make it. She didn't have to be psychic to figure that one out.

"Peter, hi." She answered.

"Hey. Look, I know I said I'd be there for dinner. And then that I would only be a little late but turns out I have to be in Springfield early tomorrow morning so I'm heading there now. I'm sorry babe, I wish I could have had dinner with you and the kids." And there it was. The obligatory apology.

"It's fine, Peter. There probably isn't enough food left over for your meal anyway. Everyone was pretty hungry tonight apparently." She laughed softly. She hated to give him a reason that it was okay he bailed on dinner but that was her being a wife to Peter. She knew he felt bad and she tried to make it better. At least he appreciated it these days.

"Well then it worked out okay. I will see if I can make dinner tomorrow or maybe we can all go out on Friday. My treat."

"Sounds nice. Just let me know?"

"Sure thing. Say hi to the kids for me."

"Alright. I'll talk to you later then."

"Sure, sure. Night hun." And he hung up. It wasn't often Peter kept his word about making it to dinner but Alicia had gotten used to it years ago. She told the kids hi from their dad and told them she couldn't watch the end of the movie. They grumbled something and kept their eyes on the screen. They probably love her, she thought to herself as she wandered over to her bedroom.

She took a long bath which eased some tension in her body and got dressed into her silk pajamas. She was having a relaxing, early night so she could kick some butt in court the coming week. As she climbed into bed, her phone beeped. She reached to her bedside table for it and read the message. It was from Will, surprisingly. She felt a small twist in her stomach. She remembered what he had told her today. She had told herself she wasn't supposed to think of him for a while, but she read his message anyway.

'It was nice having coffee with you today. Maybe we should bump into each other again and have some more before I leave. Anyway, have a good night.'

Was it safe having coffee with him again, she asked herself. Probably. He was leaving after all, and they did have a nice time… Until the end of it. No, she would not think about that. She wondered if she should reply that night, and decided she would. There was no harm in coffee. '_Unless it was too hot and burned her tongue!' _She laughed to herself, mom jokes were her forte, even if her kids didn't agree. She began typing.

'Sure. Bumping into each other for coffee would be alright. I'll look out for you near coffee carts. Good night to you.'

That was an appropriate response, she thought. Then she put her phone back onto her side table, wriggled underneath her quilt and fell into the most relaxing and deep sleep she'd had in weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I know I'm suffering through this hiatus, how are all of you?! I hope you enjoy this new chapter enough to subside the waiting agony for a while! I also love all your follows, favs and reviews! (Still do not own these characters...)

* * *

The next couple of days were easier for Alicia. She felt lighter on her feet and she honestly had no idea whether it was from having a pleasant coffee break with Will, or if it was some good sleep. She was, of course, going to let herself believe it was the restful sleep. Just because she and Will were being nice now, it didn't mean that it wouldn't turn ugly again in the near future. She almost expected it to go back to that. But how could it, she asked herself as she drove to work that morning. He was leaving for New York in a few weeks. There wouldn't be any opportunity for it to get mean again, and there was no point in making nice. He wouldn't be there. She was wasting her time. As she pulled into her normal parking space she told herself that she wouldn't "bump into" Will at all. It was for the best. She started all this to get away from him, and she had to deal with the fact that they wouldn't be friends again.

She made her way up to her offices, collected her messages from the receptionist, walked to her desk and sat down. It didn't take too long before Cary was making his way over to her desk.

"Good morning, Alicia."

"Good morning, Cary. How are you?" She asked as she shrugged out of her jacket.

"Fine. I'd ask you the same but you seem to be good from what I see on your face." He took a seat in the chair beside her desk.

"I feel better right now. I've gotten some proper sleep lately, I guess."

"Good. That's what we need." The ever optimistic Cary at it again. "Now, I need to discuss the Waite deposition. We obviously don't have the space here for it, so I think we'll just do it at Lockhart/Gardner?"

"That sounds good. Have you discussed it with them? Do they agree to it?"

"I had to ask you first partner!" He jokingly smiled at her; she smiled slightly right back at him.

"How considerate. Well it's fine with me. Just ask Diane about it I guess." His face changed, it went a bit grim. He still wasn't on great terms with her or Will.

"I'll give her a ring about it soon. That's all I had to talk about, you have anything?"

"Nope, not a thing. Let me know what Diane says." He nodded and got up.

Alicia had hoped she wouldn't have to see Will anywhere, and she had completely forgotten about this case. It didn't matter, she thought. They would be busy with their work and they might not even have to talk to each other at all if it all went her way. She sighed deeply. They were still against each other in a case; they would have to at least exchange a few words. She still couldn't let herself be nice, it would defeat the purpose of letting him get mad at her in the first place.

* * *

"When did we say we'd meet them?" Will asked Diane as they waited for the other law firm to get there for a day of depositions in her office.

"Ten this morning." Will nodded at Diane. He could tell her right now that he had been playing nice with Alicia, or wait until the day was over. He decided on later. It was going to be an intense conversation and he couldn't have that this early.

"How's Kurt?" Will tried to make some of the time pass away. It was only 9:47.

"Good. He's at his place for a few days doing some work. He said he was going to take me out fishing next weekend." Her eyes almost popped out of her head, Will just laughed.

"Fishing, huh? That is not your strong suit."

"Tell me about it. The last time didn't go well. He thinks I'll be better this time. I'd rather just go shooting again. Now that was good."

"Well look at you, fishing and shooting. You're a changed woman now." He leaned back in the chair and laughed again. She joined in with him.

"I know. The me a few years back would probably have a fit, but I like it all now. I love him." She smiled in a way that was just for her and Will smiled at that. She was extremely happy with Kurt, no matter how different they were. They sat in a comfortable silence until Diane's assistant came to tell them that Alicia Florrick and Cary Agos were there.

"Here we go." Diane said to Will as they got up and walked to the conference room. As they walked into the room, Cary gave them both an intimidating look. Neither of the older partners were afraid, why would they be? Alicia just looked as though she was ready for it to be over already.

"Good morning everybody." Diane said to the whole room, while taking a seat on her chosen side of the long table. Everybody else took their sides as soon as she sat down, as if she were the judge.

* * *

By lunch time they all had very intense looks on their faces. They were back to the fighting, as Alicia had predicted. Cary was interrupting all over the place, making the others frustrated. And they came back with doing the same to Cary. Alicia hadn't done much interrupting, she didn't see the point. That was her reasoning at least, she just didn't want to speak much with Will. And Cary wasn't impressed with her performance.

"What was that in there?" He practically yelled at her while they were in the elevator of L/G going to their cars at lunch time when they decided to stop for the day.

"I didn't see the reason to use excessive force in there. You had enough for the both of us, Cary." She looked back at him and stared straight into his eyes.

"I'm trying to win this Alicia. If you can't be strong on this then maybe you should just not come along next time. Stay away from this place." He turned away from her and faced the doors.

"If you want that then fine. I'll stay at the office." She couldn't believe he was being like this with her. She thought that he assumed it was because she was at Lockhart/Gardner. She knew it wasn't and that was what mattered, she told herself. As the elevator was slowly getting to the ground floor, Alicia reached into her bag to get her phone and found the lack of a notepad in there. Great, just what she needed, to go back up to the 28th floor and probably see Will.

_Ding_

Cary stepped out of the elevator and looked back at Alicia who didn't move. "I forgot my notepad upstairs. I have to grab it." She told him as she pushed the button. Cary nodded and started to walk away.

The ride up was agonizingly slow for Alicia. She hoped she could dash in, grab the folder and run out again. She happened to be in luck. She didn't see Will at all. Diane saw her dart into the conference room, grab her notepad and swiftly walk out. Alicia noticed Diane looking at her and wished she wouldn't be questioned.

Alicia got back into the elevator, thankful that she got in alone too. It didn't move for long. It stopped on the 27th floor. Her heart began to beat faster. The doors opened and as fate would have it, Will was standing there, waiting to get in. Why was this bad timing still working against the both of them? Will just looked at her for a few seconds and then smiled. He walked into the elevator and stood right next to her. She was a bundle of nerves, she really should not be this close to him.

"So that was an interesting morning."

"Uh, yes." She didn't want to be talking. She _couldn't_ be talking.

"You guys have a strong case."

"As do you." The words were flowing out. Maybe she was just too good of a person to ignore someone who was being nice. Even if it was Will Gardner.

"So we've bumped into each other." He pointed out, and laughed quietly.

"So we have. I don't see any coffee around though." She had to keep this conversation at bay.

_Ding_

The doors opened at the 16th floor but no one was there.

"I hate this elevator. Always broken." Will said. Alicia gave a small laugh. She knew how the thing behaved sometimes. The doors closed again.

"So I guess no coffee today?" He asked her and tilted his head towards her.

"Nope."

"We could always go grab a bite to eat?" She widened her eyes. Did he just offer to eat lunch with her? This was getting out of control now, she thought. He was getting more weird about them being on better terms now.

"I have to get back to the office." She didn't dare turn to him, which would probably cause her to agree to his nonsensical offer.

"Right, of course."

_Ding_

They had finally reached the ground floor.

"See you." Alicia said and she saw Will nod. She walked fast. She had to get out of there and not look back. Alicia knew that she couldn't get herself caught up in that again. Even if it was just an innocent cup of coffee or a simple elevator ride. As soon as Alicia got back to work she buried her head into everything she could. No one tried to approach her; she looked too focused in her work. And every now and then she would groan in frustration. She worked late into the night, not noticing how late it was until her phone rang with Grace's ringtone. She noticed the time. 11.18.

"Grace, I'm so sorry. Time got away from me. I'll head home right now."

"It's okay mom, I was just worrying a little. Drive safe."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

As Will went home that night he kept thinking how stupid he was. Why did he ask Alicia to have lunch, he wondered with fury. He didn't even want to have lunch with her. It just popped out, which was why he was concerned. If his brain was causing that to just come out then he needed to re-think the whole situation with Alicia over. He considered calling Kalinda to talk about it but it was not something she would want to hear.

He was acting like that boy in college again. The one who didn't know what he would do or say around Alicia. He knew that was a bad sign. He was incredibly mad at her not so long ago. He kicked himself over his actions. He had to stop trying to be maybe-friends with Alicia. She left because she didn't want that and it made sense to him. He wanted to leave it there. He found out why she hurt him and that was his goal. He had to stop.

* * *

The next day was Friday, the day Alicia and Cary told Diane and Will they would meet and try to discuss some sort of settlement on their current case together. They all agreed they would meet at Florrick/Agos as a change of scenery. Nobody put 'nice' in there. It couldn't be nice compared to L/G, but Cary and Alicia were still proud of what they had.

They had said they could meet at 3PM but as the time came around, not a single person showed up.

"You think they're just stalling?" Cary asked Alicia.

"Probably. It seems like them." They waited another fifteen minutes until Alicia was told that Will Gardner was calling her. She walked back to her desk and answered her phone.

"Hello?"

"Alicia, hi. I'm sorry. We'll have to postpone our meeting for a couple hours. Diane and I got called into court." Alicia looked over to Cary and rolled her eyes. He sighed and shook his head.

"That's alright. We're a little swamped over here right now anyhow, so it works out great." What else was she going to say? She and Cary were just waiting around for them, doing nothing?

"Okay good. So a couple of hours and we'll be there."

"See you then."

Alicia went back over to Cary. "They got called into court." She said with a higher pitch than normal, she didn't know if Will was lying or not so it was best to assume they were stalling.

"How long do we wait then?"

"A couple hours at the least."

"I have to get to that meeting with Daniel Edwards around then."

"Oh right! Well we can go over it now together and I'll just talk to Diane and Will when they get here."

"Okay, done." They set to work and went over the possible compromises. They both knew Alicia would be fine. Cary apologized at his outburst the day before. He was confident that Alicia would do well on their home-ground.

At 6:12 Will walked into the office, alone. Alicia thought where Diane could be, probably parking her car somewhere, she thought. Will saw Alicia at her desk and wandered over to her.

"Will, hi, take a seat." She gestured to the chair opposite her desk.

"Hey. Diane couldn't make it. She has to be with a client right now and she apologizes." He smiled at her to reassure her that he was telling the truth.

"That's okay. Cary had a different meeting scheduled and couldn't make it either." She began to get out her notepad which had notes from her discussion with Cary. What was acceptable if they offered this or that. Will reached to his briefcase and did the same. They got stuck into it. They hit a few bumps, sighs, eye-rolls and "You can do better" "You're asking for too much" 's, but they finally settled on an agreement an hour later. Everybody else had gone home for the day. Alicia felt it was risky being all alone with Will but she definitely had the stronger power to not think it would go anywhere. Of course it wouldn't. They packed up their things and started to leave. It just happened to be at the same time, and it was okay. They waited for the elevator to come up. It wasn't the fastest, even if it was only four floors. The both of them got in without saying a word. Neither of them had anything to say, since they had told themselves that all non-work related topics were off-limits. The elevator started to move but suddenly stopped within a few seconds.

"I'm sorry. My elevator is worse than yours." Alicia joked. Her and Will started to laugh together. It didn't start back up again. They waited and waited. They got frustrated and Alicia started to feel the small feeling of butterflies in her stomach. She got out her phone and went to Cary's number.

"I'm sorry Will. I'll call Cary to see if there is a way to fix this from the inside." She held the phone up to her ear.

"Alicia, hi. How'd it go?" He answered on the third ring.

"Good Cary. Hey listen, has the elevator ever stopped on you? I'm inside now and it just halted."

"Oh, Alicia, there's a huge blackout in that part of town. A few power lines went down I heard." She didn't want to hear what he had said. He couldn't be stuck in this elevator with Will for who knows how long.

"Okay. I guess I'll have to wait it out. Thanks for telling me Cary. I never would have known."

"That's okay. I hope you get out soon."

She hung up and looked to Will, who looked inquisitive.

"There's a big blackout around this part of town. I'm not sure how long we'll be stuck here. I'm sorry."

"That's, uh… I don't know."

"Crap." She stated.

"Yeah, crap."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am so sorry for a late update. This week I was crazy busy and this chapter was hard to get out, so I apologize in advance if it seems disjointed, I didn't mean it that way. It's all in Wills point of view and I really hope you love it! Happy reading.**

* * *

"I'm not sure how long I'll be Zach."

"There is some pasta sauce in the fridge, just eat that."

"Grace can cook it up then."

"No, not tonight."

"Maybe tomorrow."

"Sure. Alright, bye Zach. Love you."

Will saw Alicia hang up the phone; he didn't hear what Zach was saying. Not that it was important to him, he told himself. But he was getting bored in such a small space and hearing a small conversation was almost like listening to the radio.

"How long has it been now?" He asked, hoping it had already been half an hour since he last asked.

"Only 10 minutes, Will."

"Damn. Sorry for asking again."

"It's okay."

Will and Alicia were stuck in the elevator together. They could admit to themselves it was very comical. Maybe it was their cosmic payback, who knows, but they both knew that it probably wouldn't turn out well, no matter how great their intentions were to not make it an issue of any sort.

"I'm guessing it wouldn't be good to point out how awkward this is." Will said as he started to sit down in one corner of the elevator. Alicia laughed lightly and sat down in the opposite corner.

"No, it would not be good to mention that." She voiced. They both looked at each other and laughed. Will then put his head down and looked at his hands, crossing them and rubbing his thumbs together showing how tense he was.

"I feel like..." Will started to say, out of nowhere.

"Feel like what?" Alicia prompted. Will paused for a long while. He was working up the nerve to try and get them to talk some more. He didn't want to open things up between them but he didn't know what else to do. Will always knew that Alicia was the one to run away and now she literally couldn't, in any way.

"Feel like we should talk." He froze. She froze. Did he really want to talk with Alicia again? His head was running in so many different directions. It made him think of that decision tree he made. It was all based on what Alicia would say and now his mind was doing the exact same thing. What would he say if she said yes to talking more? What would he say if she said no? Would he let it slide or convince her to talk more? He would never get out of the lawyer head-set.

He glanced at Alicia who was beginning to slowly nod her head. Will had no idea what it meant. She could be nodding at anything that was in her head, he knew how much was in there.

"What would we talk about? There isn't anything to say." He couldn't say he wasn't expecting something like that. He rushed through every scenario he could muster in his head.

"Maybe there isn't…" He trailed off.

"No, really, Will. What would we talk about? Talk to me." Alicia shot at him. He found in her voice that she really wanted to so he looked at her. She was staring right at him with an anxious look all over her face. She wants to talk, Will told himself. So he mustered up the courage to jump right in. It was now or never.

"I want to talk about anything. Yes, I have something specific in mind but the bigger picture for me is that I just want to talk. Sure, things won't be like they were four years ago but why can't we try to make it something similar?"

They glared at each other. Both just as lost as the other.

"Have you forgiven me?" Alicia asked.

"Have I forgiven you?"

"Yes. For what I did. For the terrible betrayal I committed, for taking your clients, for… Everything lately. Have you forgiven me for that? Because I can't believe you when you say you want to talk if you haven't forgiven me." Will was speechless. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know anything. "Seriously, Will, I have thought about this for days and days. I can't understand why you just want to talk with me. I told you I needed to get away from all of this. All of you. Yet you still want to try and make things okay again. I can't do that. Not anymore." He observed her and concluded that her rant was over. He felt terrible for doing that to her, but she was right.

"No, I haven't forgiven you. I will probably never forgive you, when I think about it, but I am just trying not to lose this. It was all I had for years and it isn't easy to give up. I know I need to. I try every day to give up on you and it never works. I wish I could do what you did. I wish I could hurt you so much that you'll never want to see me again because it'll mean I don't have to see you-"

"Just stop!" She yelled. "Stop Will. I can't do this." They sat in silence again. They were hurting. And that wouldn't end well for them if they kept going like this. So they sat.

And they sat.

"How long has it been now?" Will quietly asked.

"About half an hour."

And they sat again, silent. Every so often Will would look over at Alicia, and she would glance in his direction. As Will gazed over at Alicia for the third time he noticed her shivering slightly. It was still winter and with the power out there was no heating. Even if the heating in this building was minimally helpful, it did something and now it was gone. He felt concern for her. He shouldn't but it is a part of him to care for her. That is what she had done over the years; wired him so that he will always care. He began to get up and take off his coat.

"Here Alicia." He held out the coat for her. She looked up at him. He knew her well enough to know she would try to not take it from him, but he also knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't even try to argue with him. He got feeling in his heart that was like a pin prick, he really wished he didn't know her so well.

"Thank you." She reached out for the jacket and laid it over her cold body. Will sat back down in his corner. They were silent yet again for a few more minutes until Alicia noticed Will was now trembling from the cold, wrapping his hands in his scarf, and she noticed how she had forgotten her own scarf in the office.

"Take your coat back Will. I'm fine, you need it."

"No, you keep it. You were cold first." He crossed him arms, mostly to be warm but also to make a silent point.

"But it's your coat, just take it."

"No, Alicia. A gentleman should always give his coat to a lady who's cold."

"I hate it when you quote your mother."

"I thought you liked my mother's quotes."

"I do, but you sound so… Stiff and proper when you start talking like her. I imagine her to be so caring and warm when she says these things."

"She isn't stiff and proper though, she _is_ caring and warm , so where do you get that from?" They started to look at each other again. In these times it was all easy and they always forgot what had happened between them. They had always been like that. They would bicker and then something small would happen and they would ease into normal conversation again.

"I know from your stories that she isn't stiff and proper, but you make her sound that way, that's why I hate it." She smiled and he suddenly felt warmer inside. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her smile, but he couldn't. And it hurt him not to. "Just come here then." She said and lifted up the coat, letting him know that he could share his coat with her.

"No, it's okay. I'll be alright."

"Will, just do it." She used her stern voice, and he gave in immediately. There was almost nothing about her that he didn't like. He shuffled himself over and crawled underneath is coat. It wasn't the best blanket in the world but he could accept it. He could accept it because his right arm was being warmed up by her left arm. It felt comfortable to him but also strange. It somehow didn't feel right to him and he couldn't figure out why.

"I'm sorry for getting frustrated at you." Alicia sighed.

"You didn't." Will responded quietly.

"I did. I didn't mean to, but I had something to say and it just came out. It's not like me to do that."

"Seriously, Alicia, it was okay. I probably asked for too much anyway. I'm sorry I came back at you the way I did." They both looked in front of them towards their shoes. Will realized that Alicia must have freezing cold feet. "Aren't your feet cold?"

"Yeah, a bit. A lot, but they're okay for now. I can still feel them." She giggled to herself.

"Hold on." Will reached over to her shoes and took them off. Alicia leaned back into the wall of the elevator, appreciating that her feet were no longer in any pain from her heels. Will wrapped up her feet in his scarf, and moved back onto the wall beside Alicia. They looked at her bundled up feet and laughed out loud.

"That looks ridiculous!" She said, still laughing.

"I know, but hey, they can't be cold anymore. Am I right? I'm right."

"Yeah, you're right. Very warm. Thanks Will." They started to recover from their laughing fit, catching their breaths.

"You really haven't forgiven me?" Alicia said, out of the blue. Will almost looked at her, but turned away instead. "It's okay. I don't expect you to forgive me."

"I can move past it eventually Alicia, but I can't forgive you."

"I know. I know how that is. I don't think I'll forgive Peter for what he did all those years ago." She paused, wondering if she should go further. "I thought I had forgiven him. I can convince myself that I have, but I really haven't. I don't know why he did it. He gave me a lot of excuses why he did it. Too many to believe any of them."

"I don't get why you never left him." Will bit his tongue, realizing what he had just said. "I don't mean that. Well, I don't mean it in terms of when… You and I were… I just mean to begin with, when it happened."

"I thought about it but… I just… I don't exactly know. I just didn't. I made vows, you know? I committed to a marriage. I couldn't- _can't_ just throw that away."

"Is that because of your parents?" He knew her well. He remembers the day perfectly. The day she told him that her parents were going through a divorce. She cried for an hour and then started to break things. She told him they didn't have a great marriage but thought they were happy enough. She told him that they both agreed to it. They were no longer happy together and they would just be friends from there onwards. She yelled and cried about it for hours and he sat there with her. He remembered that he felt devastated for her, and that he would probably never see Alicia like that again. So open and broken. He almost felt privileged to see her like that, he didn't think many people would her seen her that way, that she would let people see her that way. It made him love her even more, and he now wished he didn't let that happen.

Will snapped out of his memory and listened to Alicia.

"I- I don't know. Maybe. I think it's just me. I do love Peter. I was furious with him but deep, deep down I still have love in my heart for him. I think because of that, I can't forgive him for cheating on me. I loved him so much before it, and it crushed me but I knew I could move on from it, also because I love him. It's so confusing, but I moved on."

Will wondered what to say next, and he whispered "You crushed me, Alicia…". She darted her eyes to him.

"I know. I didn't mean to. I wanted to make you mad but not hurt this much." She whispered back.

"I will recover." He turned his head to see Alicia; she had sadness and devastation written all over her face. He didn't realize how hurt she must be feeling too. "I'm sorry, Alicia. I'm sorry. Don't be sad. I didn't mean to ask and make you talk about it." He saw tears forming in her eyes. She looked down and shut her eyes.

"You didn't make me. I told you. I _wanted_ to tell you Will."

"I didn't know it would make you this upset."

"I'm just in a weird place right now. I don't where it is, but it's frightening me a little."

"That does not sound good."

"You think?" She tried a laugh but didn't bother trying that hard. She decided to try to talk more about something risky. "Will?"

"Yeah?"

"I told you, because I miss you." His body went stiffened a little; he wasn't prepared for anything like that. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it."

"Alicia…"

"No. I always try to keep it together and I will from now on. I'll just keep it to myself like always."

"Stop doing that!" He was raising his voice, he was sick of her whole silent thing. "Stop shutting down. We are here, alone, stuck in your elevator. I'm not sure how long we'll be here so while we are, we should keep talking like this. I promise that this is one of those times that we talk and share things and no one gets hurt or upset, we just listen. Do you remember from school?" She nodded. "Remember the first time, what I said. You will always be able to tell me anything, if it scares you, if it terrifies you, you can just tell me that it's secret and we'll never have to mention it again. We used to trust each other that much. No, there isn't a whole lot of trust now but it still applies because we are Will and Alicia, and in this moment, we are Will and Alicia from Georgetown. Okay?" He pleaded with her, to make sure she felt safe and alright about all of it. She looked up at him, with tears streaming down her face.

"I remember the last time we had one of those talks, when I said I had a feeling that there was no way we could closer than this. I couldn't imagine how we could have."

"I remember too, so please, this is something like that. In an elevator, freezing our butts off and huddled in a corner, there probably is no way we would closer than this. Us, as friends, we're here." She wiped the tears away from her cheeks. She took in a deep breath.

"I really miss you Will."

"I really, really miss you Alicia." She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. He leant his head over hers and felt her soft hair on his cheek, the smell of her shampoo; violets.

"I don't want you to leave."

"I need to leave. You know I need to. You need me to."

"I know… I did this, but… I didn't think it would end up this way."

"I didn't think so either. But you have Peter, and your kids and I have…" He stopped his sentence. He felt her head move upwards a bit towards his face.

"You have a girlfriend."

"Yeah…"

"What's her name?" Will didn't know if she really wanted to know, or if he really wanted to tell her, but he would anyway.

"Isabel."

"That's a nice name."

"Yeah. I like it, I guess." They softly laughed. They sat there for a while longer, just leaning on each other. They both knew what it felt like but they were actually in control for once and weren't letting their feelings get in the way of it all.

"You said before that you wanted to talk about something specific?" Alicia said to him after a while.

"Huh?"

"A while ago, you said you wanted to just talk and that yes, it was something specific?"

"Oh, yeah. I, uh, well. I wanted to apologize for the Ashbaugh case thing."

"That was weeks ago." She stated softly, remembering the whole case like it was yesterday.

"I know, but I was so angry and upset and I got a little too ruthless."

"It's okay, Will. I understand."

"It was twelve million dollars Alicia. I'm sorry I did what I did, but Mrs. Ashbaugh was not happy about you potentially getting that money."

"I know. I didn't even know he had written that will. I really didn't think he liked me that much."

"He did. I saw it. I caught him once, just admiring you."

"I knew he used to do that. It creeped me out a little bit, but he was nice. He brought us more money." They laughed slightly at that. Lawyers would do almost anything if it meant they got money.

"You caught me off guard when I questioned you." He admitted.

"I had a feeling you would write down what I would say, I know you. So I had to do it. Be ruthlessly truthful."

"I did not expect that. I thought I knew you too well."

"The thing about knowing someone too well, is that they can surprise you at any moment with something you truly least suspect." She quietly said.

"Did you think about…" He started but stopped, he didn't want to think about it again.

"I, uh, yeah, I thought about it. The weekend." She understood what he was beginning to say. She obviously knew what he was talking about, it wasn't hard to figure out.

"It was a good weekend."

"A _really_ good weekend." She corrected him and they giggled a little together, remembering the great time they had together.

"When I thought about it then, I didn't want to."

"It hurt me to think about it too. It's almost the best memory I have."

"Why doesn't it feel bad to think about it now, do you think?"

"I don't know. Maybe because you aren't using it against me to win a case." She slipped out, bluntly.

"Alicia, I am sorry. I'm so sorry. It _is_ the best memory I have, and it pained me to use it against you but I was so incredibly angry at you that I didn't really care what I used."

"Thank you for apologizing."

"I mean it. I'm also sorry about the case after that. The one I ambushed from Burl Preston." Will knew he had to get it all out and apologize for all that had gone down.

"I'm sorry about that one too. I only changed into that outfit because you were in 'take no prisoners' mode. I had to even the score."

"I feel guilty about objecting so much. I know that your first time in court terrified you, and I feel so guilty about using that for my gain."

"It'll take a while to forgive you for that one, Will." She laughed a little. "But I can do it, since you feel so guilty."

"I can't believe what you said outside court."

"Oh, yes. That… You made me _really _mad. I'm sorry for that one."

"That's okay. I thought it was pretty callous but impressed you had the balls to say it." He stated and laughed a little.

"I had no idea I was capable of saying such things." They laughed together for a while and settled down eventually.

"Are you still cold?" He asked kindly.

"No, I'm very toasty." He couldn't see her, but he knew she had smiled.

"Good." He smiled too.

He didn't want to go back into a deep talk again. He wasn't sure, but it could have broken his heart to talk about it more. Will hated to feel things, especially things related to Alicia. He always shut them down instantly, but they were in their moment. He had to open up. He had never wanted to talk like this again, but it felt good to let it all out. He thought he had an honest conversation with Alicia that day in his office, but it didn't compare to what was happening in that elevator. He knew he had to tell her that he thought this. It made sense; to be honest with Alicia, while they were _actually being_ honest with each other, guards down and all.

"I like this honesty thing." He had it put out there.

"Me too."

"I think we should meet again, before I leave."

"That could be nice."

"We could just have some pizza and beer, like old times."

"That sounds very nice."

"Are you falling asleep Alicia?"

"No." He paused to hear her real answer. "Maybe a little bit."

"Stop falling asleep. We don't know when the—" And as Will was about to say 'power will be back on', the power came back on. "I made it happen!" He yelled with such a boyish tone. Alicia laughed and felt the elevator start back up. They got back up off the ground. Alicia gave Will his coat and scarf back, and put her shoes back on. They rugged up in their winter outfits again and stepped out the elevator when it had gotten to the ground floor. They walked outside into the freezing night air.

"How long were we in there?" He asked her.

"Over an hour. Not exactly sure. Lost track." She yawned and looked droopy eyed at Will.

"Drive really safe Alicia. Don't fall asleep." He smiled at her.

"I won't, promise." She returned his smile with a soft one of her own.

"I'll see you around I guess."

"Sure. We have to have pizza. Promise me, Will, that we'll have dinner before you move away."

"Cross my heart and hope to die." He motioned a cross over his heart, and they laughed again. She took a step closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the gesture and held her close. They stayed like that for a while. When they finally pulled away they giggled with each other. They both knew why they were laughing. And as they stopped, Alicia gave him a wave goodbye and walked to her car and drove home. Will waited until after she left to leave himself.

The funny thing about their giggling was that they knew that if it were a year ago, they would have ended up kissing again. They would have ended up kissing in the elevator and maybe would have taken their clothes off right there; if it was a year ago.

They giggled because they didn't feel that unyielding passion between them anymore. They could be honest and open with each other and not crave each other's touch. It was now in a comfortable place between them. Will thought to himself as he drove home that it was weird to be comfortable, but he had tried to make it that way because he was an adult. He wasn't a young college kid with a silly crush anymore. He was a grown man who decided to finally take control of his life, and he was okay with it. But he would still admit to himself that he missed Alicia. He really did miss her touch, and her smile, and the smell of her hair. How he knew that at the end of a day when she took off her killer heels and her feet were really sore she was proud of herself for having a good day at work. He missed her comforting personality. But he was slowly understanding that he wouldn't have it like he used to again. He was beginning to live with it, and truth be told, it terrified him, but he also knew that no matter where he and Alicia were in life, she would always have a huge part of his heart.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Please, please enjoy. And share all your thoughts, I love to hear what you all like to think about this little thang of mine. And here we go..**

* * *

Alicia couldn't explain what had happened that night in the elevator. If she was being honest with herself, which she tried to be ever since the incident, she somewhat enjoyed being so open with Will. She missed his friendship and company. And if she really was being honest, she missed more of him, everything about him. The gesture of him giving her his coat warmed her up completely and she had no reason to have the coat but she knew it would smell like him so she took it.

Alicia spent the few days thinking about him. Even when she was with Peter and the kids at family dinner that they rarely so got to have, she was thinking about the way he wrapped her cold feet in his scarf and when she leant her head on his shoulder, he let her. The thing about the night that upset her was the end, that moment when they knew they had no sexual tension. Alicia knew that it was better off that way, that they don't feel in the moment anymore, but she also missed it. The feelings that arose. The ones that she never felt with Peter anymore. Maybe it was just as simple as the attraction to something she can't have; it could be torture to experience that. And Alicia Florrick knew the feeling well.

It was less than a week until Will moved away, she noted to herself as she took a very large bath. She and Cary decided to take a weekend off from work. They had a lot of work to do, but they agreed that they'd just work from home and spend some time away from the offices, like hitting the refresh button. So Alicia had treated herself as much as she could, with a long, long bath and a big glass of wine.

When she eventually got out of the tub, she was thankful that both the kids had decided to stay at friends' houses. It was quiet, finally quiet. No sibling banter or loud music or the TV blaring, she took in the moment and savored it. She had no idea when that miracle would happen again. So she decided to just sit on the couch in her fluffy towel robe on, her feet up and just listen to the nothingness.

But of course, after a few minutes of her just trying to relax, thoughts of Will came into her head. Alicia pondered for a while whether she should allow them or not and she decided on yes, there was no harm in thoughts of any kind. After a short while, she heard her phone ring. She glanced at the clock and discovered it was earlier than she thought; only a little past 9pm. Alicia quickly got off the couch and went to her phone, which was in her bag, in her bedroom. She reached into her bag, finding it almost immediately and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

"Alicia, hey." It was Peter, unexpected but welcome, Alicia thought.

"Hi Peter."

"How is the alone time going?"

"It's almost the best time I've had in days."

"I will try not to take offence to that." He said sarcastically.

"Peter, that's not what I mean."

"I know, I'm messing with you."

"How very high school of you."

"Indeed."

"So what have you called for Peter?"

"I just wanted to check in on my beautiful wife. Everything good?" Alicia sighed. She liked that he cared but it felt like she was being monitored some of the time.

"Everything's good. How's everything with you?" She felt obliged to return the caring gesture.

"Good, good. Eli says hello."

"Well tell Eli I said hello back. Oh Peter, that's my call waiting." Alicia said on cue of hearing the small beeps.

"Okay, I'll let you go. Have a good night."

"Sure." And she switched the lines over, not knowing who else would be calling her.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Alicia." It was most definitely Will's voice on the other end of the phone. She didn't like to admit it to herself, but she felt her pulse quicken.

"Will." She had nothing else to say, which she noted as embarrassing.

"I, uh. How are you?"

"Good. Taking the night off, kids are at friends places."

"Wish I could do that, but I can take some time off tomorrow if you want to go grab some dinner?" Was she really hearing it? Of course she was, they had already agreed to it. She just didn't prepare for the moment they would actually decide on grabbing a slice of pizza.

"Tomorrow? I think I can make it work." Play it cool Alicia, keep calm, she told her inside voice who was screaming yes.

"Okay, good. The place we used to go, I guess?"

"Of course, where else?" The laughed a little together. "So how's your Friday night?" She moved herself over to the bed and fell backwards onto it, looking up at the ceiling.

"Boring. There's been a lot of paperwork to get through if we are going to be ready to even open the new firm."

"I assume Diane is helping with that a lot?"

"She's too good not to help me out on it. Besides, she's helping me learn for when I'm in New York."

"You certainly need the help." They once again laughed with each other and continued to talk for at least an hour about his new branch, how her firm was going and even about their home life. Will didn't bring up Isabel as much as he thought he might have, and Alicia barely mentioned Peter.

* * *

The next day went easy but incredibly slow for Alicia. She woke up late, got dressed lazily into jeans and an old t-shirt, and cleaned the apartment. The kids got home around 3pm and packed fresh clothes to go out to Peter's for the rest of the weekend. Jackie hadn't seen them in a while and instead of causing a highly unwanted fuss, Alicia just let them go see their grandmother.

As 5pm rolled by, Alicia began to get ready to see Will. She wanted to look nice but not like she was actually trying, of course. And besides, why would she need to dress up a little bit for Will, she thought. It was just a casual dinner with an old friend. So she decided on her best pair of jeans, the ones that made her ass look great, and a tight V-neck sweater, in crimson red because she knows how he loves the color on her. She takes a look in the mirror and knows she looks good, and trying to look good but not truly caring what she has on.

Will texted her during the say what time he would be able to meet, which was 6pm. Alicia had no complaints about probably spending so many hours with Will, it could be the last time they ever did this. She wasn't ready for it, she wasn't ready to say goodbye to her oldest friend. It wasn't goodbye forever, but they would almost never see each other again. She wasn't ready to not see him around the corner in the court house, or somewhere in the street. Just seeing him gave her a rush of adrenaline sometimes, and it would be what she needed during a long day.

Alicia grabbed her keys and handbag, locked the door behind her and headed off to their pizza place. It was a little hole in the wall almost equal distance between her apartment, the offices and his apartment. They used to go there together for lunch or dinner sometimes during their affair, because a hotel was only five minutes away from it. They had some really good gourmet pizza and cheap beer. Alicia and Will had discussed how much it reminded them or their law school days; secluded and open until 4 in the morning. They would always study late into the night and have cravings for pizza. It was a weekly tradition to go grab midnight pizza. And it had even been reinitiated during their affair, but there was nothing midnight about this particular meeting. Alicia walked into the establishment and looked around for Will. He had sat himself towards the back of the place in a booth. He looked up at her and she took note that he looked stunned by her. Maybe she had over done it with her outfit, she thought as she walked her way through tables to the booth.

"Alicia, hey." Will stood up and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.

"Will. Haven't been waiting long I hope?"

"Not at all, I only got here a few minutes before you did." She smiled a slid herself into the booth.

"You look nice." She said, noticing that he too had his nice jeans on and a black dress shirt with the top buttons undone and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. So yes, he looked way better than nice.

"So do you." He let out a cheeky grin.

"You have a good Saturday?"

"Yeah. I mean, it mostly consisted of a lot of paperwork but it was alright. How about yours?"

"I got absolutely no work done." She voiced.

"None?" He was shocked.

"None. And it felt good. I'd normally feel guilty but I feel good about not having done anything."

"That sure doesn't sound like the Alicia I know." They softly laughed together.

"I feel like that Alicia is long gone." She bowed her head down.

"I know she isn't." He sounded comforting, and it got Alicia to look back up at Will. They looked at each other for a while, recognizing that he was right. The Alicia he knew hadn't gone anywhere; she was always there when she was with Will.

When it became too much for either of them to keep looking into each other's eyes Will picked up his menu. Alicia did the same, feeling that they should not keep staring into each other like that.

"I like the look of the supreme." He casually said, still looking over his menu.

"You always have it though. Try something different Will." She begged.

"But it's what I like. I don't really want anything I don't like." He slowly looked up at her, and as soon as he caught her eye, she looked away. She knew what it meant.

"Just share a Mediterranean with me."

"Fine, but only because I also feel like eating that kind."

"Sure, sure." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Want a drink?"

"Oh yeah." They laughed and Will got up and went to the counter to order their food and drinks. As he was at the counter, Alicia's phone rang. She grabbed it from her bag and read the ID. It was Peter. She could answer it, but she chose not to. She was at dinner with Will, someone who was always a tough topic in their marriage, and she wouldn't give in to her husband that night. She let it ring out and plopped the phone back into her bag.

"Who was that?" Will asked as he got back to the booth with their bottles of beer. Alicia started to panic a little. Should she tell him or not? He probably wouldn't mind who it was but it might make him feel awkward, and that isn't something Alicia was willing to do. It was their dinner and Peter would not be interfering with that, at all.

"No one really." She covered it up, but he knew. He'd always known when it was her husband. She reached for a bottle and took a long gulp, she needed out of that one. Will did the same, Alicia thinking that he wanted to get out of it too.

* * *

After four more beers, two shots, and a whole pizza, Alicia and Will were ready to say their goodbyes. The whole night had been fun and easy, like the old days. The atmosphere between had changed a lot but it was still comforting and warm to Alicia. She loved every moment of it. She loved it more than any dinner she'd had with Peter in years. She didn't want it to be that way, but that was how it was. She took a cab back to her apartment, after Will telling her he'd have someone pick up her car and drop it back off to her in the morning. She was very hesitant but she didn't knew she wouldn't have time to get it since she would have to spend her Sunday working.

She had a normal morning; woke up, cooked herself some breakfast, had a shower. But after her morning routine she couldn't settle down and get to work. She couldn't put her finger on it, but Alicia felt very out of sync. So she walked around, trying to find more housework to do. She washed the kids' clothes and washed her three dishes from breakfast. Then wandering again, figuring out what to do. Eventually she sat down at the dining table with her work, a hot cup of coffee and tried to work with all she had.

Three hours down the track and Alicia had done half an hour worth of work. She had given up trying, which wasn't making her feel great, but she literally could not work. She couldn't think. Until she received a text message from Will. Then she knew clear as day that he was obviously the reason for her not getting anything done. She wasn't even thinking straight, and now it all made sense. She couldn't open the message up fast enough. Whatever he had to say, no matter if it was a simple 'How's it going?', it would mean a lot to her, more than he'll ever know.

_'Your car get home okay?'_

_'It sure did. Thank the man who dropped it off for me?' _She replied while smiling the whole time. She liked talking to him now, and she would take every opportunity to talk with him since it was 5 days when he would move.

_'I can do that for you. Did you also get home okay?'_

_'Thanks. I like that you were more concerned about my car this morning than me first.'_

_'It was the first thing that came out so I went with it.'_

_'Well alright then. And yes, I got home fine. Thanks for dinner last night. It was really good.'_

_'Don't mention it. It was nice though.' _

_'The pizza was great!' _Alicia felt like she was being a teenager. The thought of Grace came into her head. Her daughter would sit in the corner of the couch sending countless messages to her friends and no doubt the boy she was seeing. Every now and then she would giggle mindlessly. And occasionally she would come up for air and get a drink, or even say hello to her mother. And Alicia felt like she was doing this. Absentmindedly sitting at the kitchen counter and sending texts to and fro with her ex-lover. Then her phone buzzed again.

_'I now trust you to always pick the type of pizza I have from now on.'_

_'You should, I know something good when I see it. Or in this case, taste it.'_

_'I have no doubt you do.' _Was that flirty? Alicia had thought so, but through text it was hard to understand what he meant, even if she did know it was meant to be a bit flirty. It didn't catch her off guard though.

_'I have no doubt that you can choose good things in life too.' _Yes, she'd fallen into a flirting round and she had to get out.

_'You know I do.' _Alicia couldn't get into a flirting battle, it was too time consuming. Flirting had to be thought out and she was not going well with her brain that day, so she took it back into a more realistic conversation.

_'So, good Sunday so far?'_

_'Oh yeah, taking it easy. Hearing complaints from David Lee is how I like to spend my free time.'_

She laughed out loud to his message. It wasn't all that funny, nowhere near funny enough to merit a laugh out loud of any sort but he'd turned her upside down last night and she immediately got bothered by that. Here she was, flirting through texts with someone she so recently had a huge falling out with and made up again. How could he do that with just a couple hours of pizza, beer and casual conversation. Granted, it got a little too friendly when she touched his arm and when he placed his hand on her lower back during their talk. But she had _enjoyed_ it. She liked it. It made her feel special and like it was just them again. She once thought that if it was this way between them again it would just hurt. But it didn't. Not one bit of it all felt like it was crushing her soul. She had rebuilt the relationship she used to have with Will. Before all of the tension, they were friends, and it felt like that again. And it occurred to her that soon after she realized this the first time, five years ago, it made her want him. It made her notice all the little gestures he had for her throughout the day. The way he cared for her and looked out for her. He had always had her back when everything was crumbling down around her. He was always there for her. Whenever she had a problem or was upset, he was there to comfort her and tell her that is was all going to be okay, it would all work out. He was there before Peter, he was there through Peter, and through 15 years of nothing between them, and he had come out on the other side always caring for her. Loving her.

It had hit her slowly. It felt like she was getting struck with a baseball bat everywhere on her body in slow motion. She'd known it for a while before, and thought she had forgotten everything about how she felt about Will before she left him, but this was new. This was her actually admitting it to herself. She had nothing to fear anymore because she'd tested how it would be if she didn't feel this way, and she discovered that it would be like this forever.

_He would always be in love with her, and she would __always be in love with William Paul Gardner__. _

"I love Will Gardner. I love him." She said it out loud. It really wouldn't be real if she couldn't say it, but she did and she knew it was right.

"You _what_?" Alicia spun around to the wide open front door and was faced with her speechless children, and a fuming husband.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So I've changed the story rating to T because of some language used in this chapter and for future chapters. Read on everybody!**

* * *

"You _what_?"

Alicia didn't say anything. She looked at her daughter. She had the most confused and heart-broken look on her face. Alicia looked at her son, who seemed to be showing his complete disappointment in his mother. And she looked at her husband. She saw nothing but rage. He looked into her eyes and it felt like a thousand pins were being stuck into them. The intense and fierce look from him brought nothing but pain. Alicia wasn't crying, nor did she have tears forming in her eyes. She was in a state of shock. It was almost her worst nightmare had come to life.

"Mom?" Grace whispered. Standing still, her feet firmly planted on the ground.

"Grace. I..." She really couldn't say anything. What would she say? Her family just saw her confess her love to someone who wasn't Peter.

"Grace, let's go." Zach tried to move his sister through the hallway and to their bedrooms but she couldn't stop staring at her mother, with huge tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Just that look alone shook Alicia out of her state of shock and she began to feel her eyes fill with tears. She had never in her entire life wanted to hurt her family like this, especially Grace. And she just broke them all into little pieces. Zach eventually was able to move his sister through the apartment and into their rooms. As soon as Zach shut his door, he heard his father yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Will fucking Gardner?! You _love _him?! _Him_?!" Peter couldn't hold in his temper. Why would he now? He had always suspected it, but without true proof, he'd brushed it off. But now he had heard it from the source. His wife was truly in love with the man he had disliked for a very, very long time.

"Peter, stop yelling. Don't hurt the kids." Alicia pleaded, and that had angered Peter even more.

"Don't hurt the kids? Really? They just heard their mother confess to loving another man! You hurt them just now, incredibly so! I will yell, if I want to yell!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Peter, please. I didn't mean it!" She was begging, pleading with him, with her face red and flush from all the tears that were in a constant stream down her face. Just because she loved someone else didn't mean she wanted to hurt her own husband, whom she also loved.

"Of course you meant it! You thought you were alone, you said it. You said it right there. You meant it! And I knew it all along."

"No! No, it was never like this. Never." Alicia took and step towards him, and Peter backed off fast. She stopped moving. "I didn't mean it like that, Peter. I'm sorry."

"Stop it Alicia! You said it, and you can't take it back. People can't take back those things!"

"Peter, I still love you. I promise I do. Please, believe me." He looked down and started to laugh, she couldn't figure out why. This was not funny.

"Well how about this. Now you are the one pleading and begging me to believe you when you say something isn't true. The tables have turned. You know what Alicia? I'm not doing this. I cannot be doing this!"

"Please, Peter wait. Don't go! Let's just talk about it!"

"I'm not going to talk about it. Not when it's Will Gardner. We're done talking." And Peter turned around and walked out the door. Alicia tried to walk towards the door to stop him but her legs went weak and she collapsed on the ground in shambles. She wasn't crying, weeping would have been a better term. She never wanted this to happen. She wasn't sure how it happened. All she knew it that moment was that she had to speak with her children, but she couldn't get herself to do it. It hurt too much to try and talk to them now, so she crawled her way to her bedroom and went into the bathroom and locked the door.

"What did she mean when she said she loved him?" Grace was sobbing to her brother about the issue.

"What do you think it meant Grace? She loves that Will Gardner guy."

"Her old boss…"

"Yeah." Zach was sitting in Grace's room while she was on her bed holding a pillow close to her body.

"Dad's really mad."

"Yes Grace, he's _really_ mad. Why wouldn't he be? Mom just said she loved someone else! We weren't even meant to hear it. It was meant to be a secret, just hers. Of course dad is mad at her!" Grace looked at her brother with red eyes and tear stains on her cheeks and a stunned look upon her face. "Okay, I'm sorry Grace. But it's the truth."

"I thought they were happy." She whispered innocently.

"So did I. I thought they were working things out."

Grace looked up at her brother and simply asked, "What happens now?" He just shook his head. Zach had no idea. He didn't know how they'd get through all of this. "Should we talk to mom?" Grace asked him.

"I don't think so Grace. I think this is one of those times where we wait until she's ready to tell us." And wait they did. After close to an hour after Peter leaving, Alicia worked up the courage to speak to her kids. She washed her face and brushed her hair, trying to look more complete and together than she felt. She felt almost empty. She didn't know how to explain it exactly with her kids when Peter cheated, and now she had to do almost the exact same thing but with herself. It would not be easy for her to handle but she had to be truthful with her children. They were old enough now, and deserved the truth.

Alicia walked up to Zach's door and gently knocked. She heard a muffled 'uh huh' through the door and opened it slowly. What she saw broke her heart all over again. Grace was cuddled against her big brother sobbing. Zach had his arms around her trying to console her as best as he could. Alicia could feel the tears start again, and no one had said anything yet. Alicia didn't know if she should sit or try to comfort her daughter. She wouldn't know how Grace would feel about it, so she took a seat in Zach's desk chair.

"I'm sorry kids. For all of it. I'm sorry I didn't protect you from this." Grace pulled her head up to look at her mom and wiped away some of her tears.

"Do you still love dad then?" Grace burst out. She wanted answers, desperately, and she wasn't going to dance around it, no matter how much it brought her more pain.

"Oh sweetheart, I will always love your dad. And both of you. I love you more than anything in the world." Alicia said calmly.

"But you love Will too?" Grace looked so innocent in this moment, Alicia thought to herself. She had been so grown up lately but this was such a fragile, young version of Grace. She thought that if they talked about it, it might shatter her and all she'd have was tiny pieces of her daughter, unable to put back them together, but she had to keep going to make it better after it got worse.

"I do."

"How long has it been going on?" Zach chimed in, curious to know. Not angry, or relatively upset. Alicia took a deep breath.

"It hasn't been going on. We've just been talking for a while."

"And you fell in love with him?" He asked.

"I did."

"Are you going to leave dad? What about his governorship? Were you staying with dad just because of the campaign?" Alicia didn't know how her son had questions like these.

"I don't know if I'm going to leave your dad. It isn't because of the campaign or governorship, okay? Me having feelings for Will has nothing to do with it, but I can't hold these feelings back. I'll be honest with you on that."

"Are you not being honest with us about other things?" Grace asked, sobbing again. Alicia knew she couldn't tell them about her and Will's past. It'd be too complicated and hurtful for them. She was protecting them from that, and she probably always would.

"No. I'm honest with you. This is a new development for me. But I need you to know that I don't know how much things will change from here. I have to talk to our dad about it, okay?" They nodded in unison. "I love both of you so much. So much, and I've never wanted to hurt you."

"Mom, you haven't hurt us." Zach spoke. Grace darted her eyes at him.

"Who says I'm not hurt? I don't understand this! I'm hurting right now." She yelled. Zach didn't say anything back, he was stunned at her outburst.

"Grace, I want to help you understand. Just talk to me, ask me your questions." Alicia pleaded.

"I don't want to talk anymore!" Grace got off the bed and stormed into her own room, slamming the door behind her. Alicia let out a long-held breath and held her head in her heads.

"Mom, she didn't mean it. She'll come around soon." Zach comforted. His mom looked up at him and smiled softly.

"I'm so proud of you." He looked confused at her comment. "For handling this situation like an adult. But you don't have to comfort me. What I've done is terrible to you two."

"It's okay, really, mom. People can't help what they feel I guess."

"Are you really not hurt or affected by this? I can't believe I'm putting you through this. I seriously did not mean to." Her tears started to fall from her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hold them back. Crying in front of her son was something so devastating for Alicia. No child should see their parent be in such a weak moment.

"Mom, I just want you to be happy. And if being with Will Gardner makes you happy, then be with him. I know I'll be okay and yeah, it'd hurt Grace and dad but you've put us first since I can remember. I just want you to do something for yourself sometimes, and I think this is the perfect time. If you're happy, I'm happy." That was when Alicia broke down. She started sobbing. She moved over to her son and held him tightly, almost so tight he couldn't breathe but he didn't object; he hugged her twice as hard. It was what he could do for his emotional mother.

"I love you so much, Zach. I don't know when you got this wise, and I'm not sure if I like it so early in your life but thank you." She giggled softly and she heard him do the same.

"I love you too, mom." They held onto each other a little longer and then Alicia pulled away. She reached her hand up to his face and stroked it once then let her hand fall into her lap.

"Should I talk to Grace now do you think, or wait a while?"

"I think you should give her some time alone." Zach responded. Alicia usually knew how to care for her daughter when she was upset but this was definitely new territory and sometimes a sibling knew the other one a little better than a parent. So Alicia just nodded her head and left his room to go to her own. She sat on her bed for a little while, feeling terrible for how she hurt her own daughter. She couldn't not worry about Grace. Her daughter was fragile when it came to family issues with her parents. Zach seemed to be very okay with it all and Alicia had no idea if whether he would change his mind about it all, but for now it brought her a little bit of comfort to know she had his support with whatever she chose to eventually do.

At 6 in the evening Alicia decided to get dinner ready. She didn't have a lot of energy to cook anything big so she settled on frozen pizza. She almost had no energy to turn on the oven and stick the pizza on a tray, and that was saying something. When the pizza was done she called out to the kids but only Zach emerged. He took a few slices for himself and some for Grace, who refused to come out of her room. Alicia didn't expect her to, but hoped she would, even if she didn't say anything.

It was only 6.30 or so but Alicia retired to her bedroom and got ready for bed. She wasn't hungry in the least so she hadn't eaten anything. Tired, upset and stressed were putting things mildly if anyone asked Alicia how she felt. She felt like she would never get to sleep, but also like she would sleep for a thousand years if she did happen to fall asleep. She felt absolutely drained emotionally and she had to be at work early the next day, so she got dressed in flannel pajamas and climbed under the soft covers. Realizing her phone was still out on the kitchen counter, she pulled herself out of bed and slowly moved to her door. As she opened it she saw a motionless Grace.

"Grace?" Alicia saw her puffy-eyed daughter look up at her.

"I'm sorry , mom." Was all she said and she reached around her mother to give her a big hug.

"Oh honey, _I'm_ sorry. I'm just so sorry." She stroked Grace's hair and held her tight. Grace pulled back and just looked into her mom's eyes. Alicia pulled her over to the bed and they climbed in together, Grace resting against her.

"I didn't mean to make you feel so bad mom."

"No, I didn't mean to upset you. I can't imagine how you're feeling but I know it isn't good. You know you can talk to me about anything. This is especially no exception. Talk to me, Grace."

"I just don't understand. I thought you and Will were fighting against each other, and now you love him?" Grace had the right questions, Alicia thought. These ones were more about Alicia and less about Peter, different from Zach's questions, but they were easier to answer.

"We were fighting, yes, but recently we patched things up. We've been friends for a long time, Grace."

"Since law school, right?"

"Yes. We were best friends back then, and our friendship has lasted a long time and I guess we couldn't just erase all that."

"You said a few years ago that you thought you were attracted to each other. Do you love him now because of that as well?"

"I not sure. Maybe. Maybe it's from that too. We've just been talking lately and it happened. I can't hold back feelings, Grace."

"But you still love dad? I don't get that. I don't get how you can love two people." Alicia wasn't expecting this conversation to be so serious and heavy, but she had to let her daughter know everything because it was the right thing to do. She'd always put her kids before herself, no matter what.

"I do still love your dad. We've been through so much and I will always love him. He'll always be in my heart, okay?" She felt Grace nod her head. "But things also change. There have been times when Will was there for me and no one else was."

"I'm always here for you."

"I know, sweetheart, but there are times when I need an adult too. A friend."

"Like when dad went to prison, Will gave you a job? Things like that?"

"Exactly. He was there for me when I felt like no one else was. So it's just life, and I felt comfortable around him. Like I was myself again. And over the years, I think I was just slowly falling in love with him without knowing, but I know now."

"You don't know if you'll leave dad?"

"I don't. I have to think it through and also talk with your dad. I have to know what he's thinking."

"He's really mad."

"I know he is, but he'll calm down eventually." Grace turned into her mother and started to hug her again. Alicia held her so close, like she would never let go and let her daughter into the big and scary world to get hurt by a boy for the first time, or the second, and maybe a third time.

"I want you to be happy. Do what makes you happy, mom." Grace said, half muffled.

"I just want you to be happy too." Alicia kissed the top of Grace's head and felt her eyes swell with tears. Both Zach and Grace wanted her to be happy. She wondered if she didn't seem happy in front of her kids. She was generally a happy person, very happy. She started to question her own happiness.

"Can I join in?" Both Grace and Alicia looked up to see Zach leaning on the frame of the bedroom door. Alicia held her hand up and waved her son into the room. He moved around the bed and got into it on the other side of his mother. Alicia wrapped her right arm around Zach and held her children close.

"I love you two so much."

"We know." Zach replied.

"Just this once, for old times' sake, do you want to share the bed with me?" Alicia asked.

"I'm not leaving." Grace said.

"I guess I'll stay too." Zach commented.

"Good. But it's only 7. Should we watch a movie together?" Alicia offered.

"I'll go get my laptop and something to watch." Zach said as he got back out of the bed.

As they all settled down into the bed to watch Identity Thief, Alicia thought back to her own happiness. She wasn't happy that her family found out she loved Will. Definitely not happy that Peter just walked out of the room not even wanting to discuss it. She wondered about the last time she was truly happy, with no worries in the entire world. That weekend in New York with Will came to mind. The words came flooding back to her mind, _'This is the happiest I've ever been'. _It was the happiest she had ever been, and to the present day it was still her happiest moment. She couldn't have been speaking the truer truth if she had tried.

Except she did try. Her kids had fallen asleep against her and in the few moments before falling asleep herself, she realized something.

She was happy with Peter. Unbelievably happy. She had everything she wanted and more.

But she was even happier with Will.


	7. Chapter 7

Will had a calm weekend after seeing Alicia. He loved their pizza and beer night and wanted it to happen every week; he knew it would never happen though. Of course it wouldn't, he was moving to New York on Friday. He now wished he hadn't been so hasty in choosing to move there. The option of only staying there for a couple of months was no longer an option. Will told Diane and everyone at the Chicago firm he would live there and run the new firm. He had to really think about leaving his life he had built there in Chicago, but at the time he'd convinced himself he had to go bigger and better with the firm and being away from Alicia was a major perk, so he just thought that he'd build a new life with Isabel in New York.

Isabel…

Will was reminded that he still had a girlfriend _(?). _He'd spent so much time lately thinking about Alicia and trying to stay friends with her that he'd almost ignored Isabel for a week now. Will noted that he didn't really mind. He didn't exactly have strong feelings for the young woman. Sure, he liked her and liked her youthful energy but he wasn't in love with her, nowhere near it.

His mind went back to Alicia, again, as he sat at his desk eating his lunch. Will looked up and saw Diane in her office working on something that she seemed to be very invested in. He still hadn't had a talk with her about how he and Alicia were on good terms again. He'd been putting it off, unsure of how she would take it. Will knew Diane liked Alicia and her courtroom abilities, so obviously Diane was extremely disappointed and hurt by Alicia's secret move. But he also knew that Diane was usually a forgiving person, if you gave her enough time to think about the situation she could be understanding. So with that, Will decided it was now or never to have that talk with his partner. He got up from his desk and walked rather slowly into her office.

"Diane, do you have a minute?" She looked up at him questioningly and took off her glasses.

"Is it about the Patton case? Because I don't have time for that one today. I've run into some complications with the Smith case and it's frustrating me to no end."

"No, it's not really about work."

"Well can it wait then?" She raised an eyebrow at him, hoping it would intimidate him slightly to back away and leave her be.

"No, it can't." He had to tell her now, otherwise he never would. She gestured for him to take a seat in a chair as she leant back into her own.

"So…?" She prompted.

"I have to tell you that… I am on good terms with Alicia." He slowly said, waiting to see if Diane would react in an over-the-top way. She just looked confused.

"What do you mean 'good terms'?" She asked. Will took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I mean, we're friends again." Diane widened her eyes in disbelief.

"And how has that come about, Will? Are you saying she is no longer the enemy?" Will had detected a hint of sarcasm, and he was expecting it.

"I'm saying that she is no longer an enemy in personal matters."

"Personal matters? So we might be able to destroy her in court but out of court we're all civil again?" Less sarcasm in her voice now. Will was trying to figure out if she was being serious about this now.

"I guess so. You don't have to be nice, I'm just letting you know that I am now and that's that." She let out a long held breath and looked around her office for a moment.

"Honestly, Will. What has brought this on? It isn't… Again? Not that I mind much. She doesn't work here anymore." She looked directly in his eyes, Will knowing what she was referring to.

"No. It isn't that. We're just friends again. Friends only, Diane. Absolutely nothing more."

"Okay. Thank you for letting me know. If it just so happens that she and I cross paths out of the courthouse then I will do my best to be kind. Just for you, Will." She half smiled at him and he returned it with a full smile. He was happy she would do such a thing for him; that was their partnership. Always had each other's back.

"I can't say the same for anyone else around here, especially David."

"It doesn't matter about them. I just wanted my partner and friend to know this."

"Sure, alright. Now go away, I have work to do. As do you, friend." She smiled at him slyly and put her glasses back on. Will got up to leave and just as he was about to, he spun around.

"I thought there would be a bigger discussion about this. Maybe even a heated one." He looked to her questioningly.

"Will, I'm fine with this. Apart from what Alicia did, she's a good person. She's a smart person, and lawyer. If this is what you want then I'm there for you."

"Thanks Diane." She gestured for him to get out and he softly laughed to himself as he left her office. He didn't know how she could be such a good person herself, but it was Diane. She was classy and elegant and had no time for silly high school style grudges. It crossed his mind that she could have been very happy that they were alright with Alicia, because as far as he knew, they were somewhat friends before everything that happened. He also thought about Diane not having a whole lot of friends anymore. A few of them disappeared when she got married to Kurt, which Will didn't understand. He was a great guy who made Diane happy and he didn't know how her friends couldn't just support her because of _his_ political views. So it made Will happy to know that since he was friends with Alicia again, it meant that Diane could have her friend back too.

* * *

Towards the end of his working day, Will was packing up his work at the desk to take home with him and his phone began to ring. He walked to his leather chair where he'd left it and answered.

"Hello?"

"Will, hi." It was Alicia. His heart did a little jump in his chest.

"Oh, hi. How are you?" There was a pause.

"I'm fine. I was just wondering if we could meet somewhere tonight, and talk." He heard a hint of anxiety in her tone, which he began to worry about.

"Tonight? As in now? Because it's already six."

"Yes. Right now is good. Does that work for you?"

"I was heading home to do some work but sure, I can meet you somewhere." He said gently, not wanting to worry her more than she already seemed to be.

"Is it alright with you if I come to your place?" Now Will got more concerned. He knew Alicia would never ask to meet there unless it was serious. So he had to accept.

"Yeah, sure. I'm heading home now so I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Okay, thanks Will. I'll see you soon." And she hung up.

Will rushed to get the rest of his things together and drove home as fast as he could. He hurried into his apartment and looked around to see if there was anything of Isabel's he should get rid of. He didn't see one thing. He was now suddenly grateful for the fact that he rarely brought her back to his place, and when she was there she had very little with her.

As Will changed into some more comfortable clothes (jeans, black t-shirt) he heard a knock at his door. He moved so fast that he almost slipped on the wood floor at the door because of the socks he still had on. He composed himself and opened the door to a very sullen Alicia Florrick. She looked exhausted. Will stepped aside and let her in, neither one of them saying anything. He observed her drop her bag by the door and take off her long, red coat. He had always loved that coat on her. She spun around on her heels and looked at him. He saw nothing but fatigue and gloom in her eyes. He didn't know what had happened and he felt terrible in the pit of his stomach, not sure if he wanted to know. All he did was pull Alicia in and hold her. Just because they had gone through a wretched time together lately it didn't mean that Will didn't know Alicia well enough to know when she needed to be held. Not just a hug, but to be comforted and embraced. He felt her grasp him tighter, almost like her life depended on it.

They remained in their embrace for a few minutes until Alicia pulled back. She looked him in the eyes and smiled. Will noticed a small tear falling from her right eye. He reached his hand up to her face and softly wiping it away, being careful with her porcelain skin, afraid it might shatter. She closed her eyes as he did so, and then dropped her head as he pulled his hand back. He took and step forward, move his arm around her and started to lead her through the hallway and into the living room. He sat her down on the couch, and sat himself right next to her.

"What's up?" He asked quietly.

"I didn't know who else to talk to."

"Okay. About what?"

"I couldn't talk to Owen, or my mother. They'd just say 'I told you so'. No matter how much they'd comfort me, they'd say that and I wouldn't tell them anything."

"Tell them what, Alicia?" He watched her take in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Peter and I… Have separated again. I am pretty sure it's for good this time." Will stopped breathing for a few seconds. He wasn't sure what he was hearing. He had it in his mind for years that this would never happen. He thought he was 100% sure Alicia and Peter would be married until the day they died. He didn't know what to say to Alicia. He had once prepared himself for a conversation like this when she first started at his firm five years before, but it had been forgotten long ago.

"One of the only times you've ever been speechless, Gardner." Alicia teased and let out a fake laugh.

"Well, that's true. I just never thought…"

"That this day would actually come." She finished his sentence. He nodded and looked away. Alicia fell back into the couch and looked up to the ceiling.

"What happened then?" Will was desperate to know what would cause such an apocalypse in the Florrick household. Alicia turned her head to look at Will, who gave her his full attention.

"He overheard me saying… Something. And he flipped out, which was understandable, but he wouldn't even try and talk with me."

"What did you say that was so terrible?" Will couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be. Alicia looked back up at the ceiling, avoiding his eye contact.

"It doesn't matter…" She whispered. "I went to try and talk with Peter today after work. He started to shout and yell. There was no reasoning with him about anything. I started to leave and that's when he said he couldn't be in this marriage anymore." Will saw her eyes fill with tears, saw her take long and deep breaths to calm herself down. He didn't know what to do; if whether he should hold her again, or just hold her hand. He wondered if it would be too much for her.

"So, you think that's it for your marriage?" Will didn't know where to go with the conversation. He'd never had to do this before.

"Yep." He knew she and her marriage had been through a lot over the years. He probably didn't know the half of it but he did know that if Alicia said it was over, it was over. That woman had done everything to try and not divorce her husband. Will questioned if she loved Peter still, but even if she didn't she would stick it out for the sake of her children. He knew she would do everything in her power to protect them, which was something that he admired about her.

It was at that moment that Will decided to move closer to her and grab her hand. She leant into him and buried her face into his chest. He didn't mind. It wasn't dangerous for them anymore, he thought. This was just comforting a distraught friend who's marriage had ended.

"Damn it. I don't know how to tell the kids." She muffled into his chest. She lifted her head up and looked at him once again. "I think they know it's coming though."

"How?" He asked.

"They were with Peter when he overheard me talking. He was dropping them off yesterday afternoon. I'm sure they heard him shouting then too. I had talked to them a little last night, and I think they understand. They're old enough to put the pieces together on their own."

"There does come a time when you can sense these things. Whatever happens Alicia, I'm sure they'll be okay. They're tough and resilient." He attempted to make her feel better about the kids. That was probably the biggest thing she'd worry about.

Then it hit him. She said yesterday afternoon. They'd be sending each other texts in that afternoon. If something had happened with her, he'd notice it in her messaging tone. He did note to himself that she could have had other people with her and was still able to send him messages, but that wasn't it. She probably would have mentioned if she actually had people over. He then thought that she probably had a phone conversation with someone. It had to be that.

"You said Peter overheard you say something. You don't have to tell me what it was, but were you on the phone with someone?" He was being a little nosey about it all but he really wanted to know.

"No, I... Uh. I wasn't with anyone, or talking to anyone."

"Just yourself then?" He smirked.

"Yes, I do that so much." She half smiled and rested her head back on his chest. Will took that in. She was talking to herself about something. Maybe it was really about their texts. Now he was crazy desperate to know what she had said that made Peter so angry and want to end everything between them.

"Alicia… Does it have anything to do with me? Something with us sending texts?" He asked softly. She went quiet and Will knew it did have something to do with them. He really didn't know what it could be. He wondered if it was as simple as them being friends again, but Peter wouldn't have a fit over that. It was something very serious.

"Alicia, you can tell me anything." He prompted. She started to sit up and scoot away from him a little.

"I should really go."

"You don't have to. Talk to me." She got up from the couch and walked back into the hallway. Will sat there for a moment, listening to her heels hit the floor, each step closer to her walking out the door. He quickly got up and rushed to the door, seeing her putting her coat back on.

"Thanks for this, Will. I just needed someone."

"You were here for ten minutes. Stay and tell me everything. It'll be okay, please, Alicia."

"I have to talk to my kids, Will. We can talk some other time."

"I'm leaving Friday. It'd better be before then, okay?" He pleaded.

"How about tomorrow? Tomorrow I'll tell you…" she whispered. He didn't want to leave her so upset. It's as if he could see all the cracks on her body from being broken and shattered so many times, and then being put back together again. It broke his heart to see her so wounded. He knew in this moment that she did love Peter and he had hurt her more than he ever has before. Will felt a surge of rage course through his body. He was sick and tired of seeing Alicia this way, all because of her idiot husband.

"I can make lunch work?" He offered.

"That's fine. I'll come to your office." She picked up her bag, put the straps over her shoulder and moved back into Will for a hug. Just a hug this time. He gripped her tightly.

"I'm always here." He whispered and kissed the top of her head. She pulled back and looked at him. Will opened the door for her and she walked out. He waited at there until the doors of the elevator closed and she was gone. He stood there, thinking about how much he cared for this woman. The one he just watched walk out his door, again. And again he didn't want her to. He thought about being mad at her. He was cruel and ruthless and would do anything to get her out of his head, but a couple weeks ago he knew she would always be there. She'd always be in his dreams, laughing with him, kissing him. She haunted him, in his favourite way. He'd loved her for so long and when the day came to hate her, he convinced himself that he did. He didn't want to see her again because he didn't want it to hurt anymore, but even then it was love and it was a terrible aching pain that he still had.

So that was it. It was still love. He'd tried everything to stop it. Including being with a girl half his age and absolutely nothing like Alicia. He'd tried the anti-Alicia and he truly didn't like it. Will had always admitted to himself that he loved this woman, but recently he tried to deny it with all he had. It was hard to admit, even now, with him standing at his open door wondering if he should go after her and just tell her that he loved her and she could confide in him with anything that troubled her. He knew he shouldn't do that to her now, but it was truly now or never. He was in the moment and love filled his heart. Whatever Alicia chose to do with it, he would have to tell her. No take-backs involved.

He ran out of his door, leaving it open and hit the elevator button a dozen times. It arrived and he stepped in, pressing the ground floor button and the close-door button. It felt like a million years to Will, it felt like he would be trapped there for an eternity, cursed with knowing he loved Alicia and could never tell her how he really felt. He'd tried it once but she never heard him. It once popped out a second time but they let it fall back on an accident. Third time was the charm for him; he wouldn't let his love slip through the cracks.

After what was a millennium to Will, the elevator got to the ground floor. He ran out of the building, stopped to look around and saw Alicia in her perfect red coat walking down the street to her car. He started to run to her.

"Alicia!" Her name rolled off his tongue like honey. She spun around. It was a good twenty meters of pavement between them but he could see she was crying. He caught up to her and stood a few inches from her.

"Will, what are you doing?" She asked and sniffled a little from crying.

"Alicia. I have to tell you now." She froze, and he knew that she was aware of what he was about to say. "Alicia, I love you. I love you. It isn't in a lost voicemail, and it isn't an accident on a phone call. I love you, always have and always will."

"Will-"

"No. I know its horrible timing. Go figure, right?" They softly laughed together. It was their greatest cosmic joke of all time. "I know that you'll be going through a tough time now but I had to tell you. I, William Gardner-"

"William _Paul_ Gardner. I love your middle name." She quickly mentioned. He gave her a huge smile and continued.

"I, William Paul Gardner, fucking love you." He isn't one to use profanity but he just felt it in the moment. Alicia slipped her arms around him, looked into his eyes; staring into his soul, and whispered:

"I fucking love you too."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Hey there everyone! So I don't feel great about this chapter (I rewrote it twice!) so if you could just let me know what you think about it, that'd be great and very much appreciated. I'm grateful for all you readers and reviewers too, so happy reading! :-)

* * *

Alicia was nervous about the upcoming lunch with Will. She knew they would definitely have to talk about the night before, it was very much inevitable. You don't just confess your love for someone and then leave it be. Not after what Alicia and Will had gone through she thought. Though, they did sort of just leave it at that last night. Alicia felt every kind of wonderful but also completely terrible at the same time. She and Will finally told each other they loved each other. How could she not feel wonderful after that? But she was completely destroyed from the fact that her marriage would be ending. She loved Peter too, of course she did, but not in the same way. She didn't know how to explain it to herself. And she still hadn't explained any of it to her kids. When Alicia arrived home the night before, neither of them seemed to be in good moods at all. She couldn't blame them, it had only been a day since Peter left them so suddenly. Alicia didn't want to bring up the issue of their parents separating for a final time. It would have been too much. Alicia drank her second coffee of the morning and watched the kids leave for school, wondering if they already somehow knew what would be coming. It'd probably be in the back of their heads, but once it's announced, it's a whole new ball game, she thought.

She took a sip of the strong cup of coffee and thought about Will again. Every few minutes or so, her mind flipped back to last night. She couldn't help it.

_"I, William Paul Gardner, fucking love you."_

The words lingered in her ears. Bouncing off the walls of her apartment, they kept coming back to her.

_"I fucking love you too."_

She didn't often use that type of language but it seemed to fit their moment. They finally had their moment together. She never thought it would actually be real. Never in her wildest dreams did she think that she and Will would be able to say those words to each other. And her dreams about Will could get pretty wild. She also thought that she would be disappointed that their night still ended there, but she was definitely not. She did happen to think that if they would say those words to each other in the past, they'd jump each other's bones and have their clothes off in five seconds flat. But they had just stood there for a few minutes and looked at each other, smiling like crazy. There was no kiss, just a peck on the cheek after they agreed to still have lunch and then Alicia left. She felt warm inside when she thought of it though. And then when the exchange with Peter entered her mind she felt ice cold.

She never intended to hurt him like that. She hadn't even had time to think about the whole situation when he found out. And he was hurt. He was angry. He was irrational, and it felt like a stake through Alicia's heart when he said those words.

"_Just get out Alicia. This marriage is over now. I'm done trying to make it work for us. Clearly you are too. You get out of my office, and I'll get out of whatever this marriage is."_

She broke down after she left his office. She couldn't say anything back. She had nothing to say, she couldn't just take back her love for the only man Peter had ever felt threatened by. No matter how many times he said he wasn't, she knew he was because of their past.

And that was the thing for her. She had a bigger past with Will. He was there way before Peter was. She has shared things with Will that she never did with Peter. Of course she wanted to, but he was never a great listener in the start of their relationship and early on in their marriage so eventually she just considered it non-worthy information.

Alicia glanced at the clock and realized she was late for work. She put her cup in the sink, grabbed her bag and keys and rushed out of the apartment. She didn't have time to idly think about her love life in the mornings anymore. She had a firm to try and keep afloat.

She walked into the office and went to her desk. She sat in her chair and opened her day planner. In ten minutes she had the first of five meetings for the day. For some reason, Tuesday seemed to be the only day available that week for important clients. Luckily not one person wanted to go meet over lunch which Alicia was silently grateful for. And Cary had to sit in on all of the meetings as well, so Alicia didn't feel terribly overwhelmed by all the activity that would happen during the day.

* * *

"You going to lunch?" Cary asked as Alicia picked up her bag and jacket.

"Yes. We don't have anyone coming in do we?"

"No, I was just wondering if you could pick me up a sandwich or something on your way back in." She paused, was he really asking for her to get him a sandwich?

"That's why we have assistants Cary." She looked at him with disbelief. He broke a smile a laughed.

"I'm messing with you. I just wanted to see your reaction." Oh, what a hilarious comedian he was, she thought.

"Very funny. You should try stand-up!"

"I have been thinking about it." Cary laughed again and Alicia couldn't help but smile with him.

"I'll be late to lunch. Gotta go."

"Of course, have a good lunch." And away she went.

Will and Alicia agreed that he would meet her in the lobby of his office building at 1pm and from there they would go to lunch at a café a couple blocks away. They knew they needed to talk somewhere private, without prying eyes, without interruptions. Alicia luckily found a free park across the street from the building of Lockhart/Gardner. She got out and walked across the street. Before she even entered the doors Will came out and smiled at her. She noticed how relaxed and refreshed he looked. She noted to herself that this was how she loved him most.

"Hi there." He greeted cheerfully.

"Hey Will." She said, less cheerfully.

"I thought we'd walk. I know it's chilly outside but I don't have a lot more time here and I need to see it." He smiled at her.

"Yes, sounds good." She smiled back but without a great deal of effort. She was happy to see him but half of her world was falling apart and even the other half wasn't great. Will noticed how unenthusiastic she seemed and addressed it as they walked to the café.

"You don't seem particularly happy. I mean, happy isn't right. I don't know why you would be happy after yesterday."

"It's okay. I know what you mean. I'm happy to see you, you have no idea, but I'm not happy with almost everything else." He nods his head and keeps walking.

"Did you talk to your kids about Peter?" He asks softly.

"No. I just couldn't. They weren't in the best mood when I got home. I guess I didn't want to hurt them even more." He nods his head again.

"That is probably for the best." He looks at her briefly then looks ahead of them. They don't say anything else until they get to the café. It's a fairly small place but luckily doesn't have a lot of customers. They sit at a table near the back of the room.

"Do you want a coffee or tea or something?" Will asks her.

"Uh, no. I'm not really in the mood."

"Food?"

"I'm not that hungry actually." She states, slightly embarrassed because they did want to meet for lunch.

"Okay, well I'm just going to get a coffee and a sandwich of some sort. I'll be right back." She nods at him and watches as he gets up and goes to the counter to order. She knows they need to talk, and that's why they're here but she just wants to hide away with him until he leaves and then return to the world. She knows it's silly but she wants it, needs it. She needs an escape from it all right now. She needs to be with someone who understands her. She watches him as he walks back to their small table. He smiles at her as he sits down and she just looks at him. This is what she wants.

"What?" He nervously laughs. She made him feel awkward now. She scolds herself internally and looks down to her hands on the table.

"Nothing." She sees Wills hands hover over hers for a second and then he holds her hands. It's warm, and she immediately feels his warmth flow through her veins. It's such an intoxicating feeling, she thinks.

"You're okay, right?" He asks. Alicia detects worry in his voice. She looks up and into his eyes.

"I'm okay." Which is true, she feels okay. Not great, but okay. The waitress walks over to their table with Wills order and he takes his hands back. She somehow feels less okay.

"Thank you." He says, barely looking up.

"No worries." The young waitress smiles outrageously large and walks away. Alicia can't help but notice it; Will Gardner is always attracting female attention.

"So, let's talk." She immediately says, wanting all other thoughts about all other women out of her head.

"Yes. I don't have a lot of time, I have to get back soon and do a few things then go start packing boxes." She watches him as he takes a bite of his simple chicken and salad sandwich. She thinks about him packing boxes. She doesn't want to, but she's surprised he hasn't begun yet.

"You haven't started yet?"

"Nope. I've been busy, but I am taking half days until Thursday to get my things together."

"I can't believe you're really going."

"I know." He takes a sip of his coffee.

"I know you said you don't have a lot of time, so maybe we'll just get into it." She proposes and he nods slowly, thinking of what to say next.

"Okay, I know how this will sound, but even after last night, I don't expect a lot to happen." He moved in a little closer to her and lowered his voice. "I do truly love you, and you know that, but I know that you now have a lot to go through. So I'm not expecting you to jump in my arms." He laughed nervously. It was going to be a tough lunch to get through but Alicia knew it had to happen before he left. And it hit her again. He's leaving. He's moving. Nothing could happen even if everything with Peter was sorted out.

"I just don't know if anything would even happen, Will. You're moving away. I know how we feel and I can't help but think it really is too late and if I'm being selfish in wanting to try this with you." She started to overthink it all. She is getting divorced and it will not be easy. She has to tell her kids about the divorce. She loves another man who is moving at the end of the week. She doesn't want him to wait because she knows how long he has already been waiting for her. And then she feels the tears welling in her eyes. Will grabs her arm and it stops her tears. His eyes and face go serious.

"You aren't being selfish, and it isn't too late. You know why?" She nods her head, too nervous to say anything. "This time around, we make that plan. Okay?" She nods again and remembers that night, years ago. "This is plan making time. We make real decisions today and we'll figure this out. If we discover it won't work, then it won't work but at least we will have tried, alright? That's all I'm asking today, because I know this is a tough time for you. I want to try." She doesn't know if it's possible, but Alicia just felt her heart grow because of the love she has for this man sitting before her.

"Okay. A plan." She says. "I don't know what should happen first yet, but I have to tell my kids about Peter and me." He pulls his hand back and he takes another bite of his lunch.

"Step one, you tell your kids about that." And that's the beginning of their plan.

"Thanks Will."

"No need to thank me. That's the most important part." She doesn't know how he could be more supportive, without actually being her… Something. She doesn't know what he is. Friend?

"Honestly Will, I don't think anything should happen before I sort out the divorce with Peter too."

"That's understandable. Step two; you sort it out with Peter. I'll be in New York. There isn't much I can do from there." She nods in agreement.

"How long did you intend to be there?" She feels nervous about his answer. She would have expected it would be for good since he decided to leave when they were at war.

"I did plan to stay there for quite a while." He says slowly. Of course he did, she thinks. She takes in a deep breath.

"Should we really try it if we aren't even going to be in the same city?" She doesn't want to ask, but she needs the answer.

"I really only need to be there to get things going. Make sure the new lawyers can handle everything on their own. I could do that in… six months maybe."

"Six months?" He mumbles a 'yes' through his mouthful of sandwich.

"That would be enough time to sort everything out with Peter. And Eli." She says quietly, mostly saying it to herself. Alicia knows that the whole situation isn't ideal, but she had been thinking about whether she would divorce Peter after her realization that she loved Will. She tried getting away from him and it didn't work so she had owed it to herself to maybe see if they could work as something real. She owed it to Will too. She owed it to their entire past. The kids would be okay, if she explained it all to them. She knew that she wouldn't be their favorite person in the world but they would get through it together.

So that was it, Alicia thought as she watched Will eat. She couldn't stay in the marriage, she loved someone else more than her own husband. She'd tried to make it work countless times but it never was the same after the scandal. She would most likely always feel selfish for putting herself first this time, but even her kids didn't see her as a happy-go-lucky person anymore.

Will looks up at Alicia and they can see it in each other's eyes. The realization that they have a plan now. A rough outline of a plan yes, but a plan nonetheless. More than they've ever had before. Alicia smiles at Will and he smiles warmly back.

"So are we saying that we'll give this… Us… A go in about six months?" She asks him.

"I suppose so. Yes. Definitely, yes." Though Alicia can see he looks hesitant.

"What?" She asks him. She doesn't want him to back out and say that it seems like too long and they will be different in six months, but she watches him take a breath in.

"I know I waited half my life for you, and recently I was very much over the waiting game, but this time it's worth it Alicia. You're worth it. This time it feels real. We're actually making it happen. And I know that you have everything else happening for you, so you take these six months for you. Do what you have to do, because I promise you I'll be on the other side of it." She doesn't know if she's dreaming or not. She can't understand how Will still want's it all to happen, she thinks to herself.

"I don't know why you are still here." He gives her a confused look. "I mean, after everything we've gone through. Everything I've put you through. I don't get how you can still be here." She says softly. Will thinks about what she said for a few moments.

"Because I have always loved you. In every way possible. When we were friends, I loved you that way. And when we hadn't spoken in so many years and you came to me looking for a job, I loved you for persisting, for your strength in getting back on your feet. When we were together, I literally loved you in every way." They look at each other rather seductively. Both of them remember how well he loved her. "I loved you when I hated you. And now I love you so much. You're it for me." Alicia could feel her cheeks go red hot and knew she was blushing like crazy. Will continued on.

"When I knew I loved you in more than a friend way, you know what my mother told me?" He asked, she shook her head and gave him a confusing look. "She said 'Don't lose her, because the best luck you'll have is her'." He smiled widely. Alicia took in a deep breath and held it. She had never even met this woman, but she got to the conclusion that Will must have talked about her a lot back then. Alicia grabbed his hand and held it tight.

"I love you so much Will. Just you being here for me now is enough for me. For understanding that I have to figure out everything else with my kids. That means more to me than anything, they are so important to me. And you get that. I love that, and you." She smiled at him, then she heard his phone ringing with a message tone. He took his hand back and looked at his phone.

"I have to get back. I'm sorry for a quick lunch. I can call you later if you want?" He asks apologetically.

"Sure, it's okay. I have to get back to work too." They stood up, Will leaving some money on the table to pay for his meal, and started to leave.

"I have to tell my kids tonight." Alicia said lazily as they walked back to Will's building.

"You can do it. I know they'll be okay, I'm sure they have your strength." Will reassures her.

"I might call you in tears." She laughs.

"I'll be there." She looks at him with gentle eyes. He smiles at her again and she feels better. Someone will be there for her and she cherishes that. They get back to the building and say their goodbyes with a small hug. Alicia gets back into her car and checks her phone for messages. She has a missed call, she checks her voicemail.

_"Mom." _Alicia recognizes Grace's voice. _"Dad just came to get me and Zach from school. I just thought I'd let you know. I think he wants to talk to us. I guess we'll be home for dinner. We'll let you know if not, but I didn't want you to worry. I love you." _

At least Grace now left detailed messages about her whereabouts, but Alicia definitely got concerned about them being with Peter. That would only make the 'Divorce Talk' with them even harder, considering that would be what Peter was doing now. She felt anger run through her body. He didn't have a right to do that without her there. Alicia started her car and drove back to work, ready for the day to end and be with her kids and hopefully not have to see or talk to Peter.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I have updated this chapter and it should hopefully be in a more normal format! Happy reading to new and old readers of this chapter. :-)**

Will left the office an hour after his lunch with Alicia, determined to get all his things packed up into boxes by the end of the week. He wasn't pleased with himself that it had taken him so long to start on his packing, but things were the way they were. He also wasn't pleased with the fact that he had to bail on all the plans he made with Isabel, but if it was going to end with him being with Alicia then he would do it. He and Isabel did say that she could move back if it didn't work out between them. At least she didn't have to actually move anymore. Will decided on his way back home that he would pack up some kitchen things for a couple hours then have a conversation with Isabel.

He arrived home and went straight to his computer, ready to type out the email to his not-really-girlfriend.

'_Hey Isabel, sorry I haven't been around for a few days. Been very busy. I was wondering if you were free later tonight to come over and talk. Let me know._

_Will'_

He sent the email and made his way to the kitchen where he already had some boxes. He got a few newspapers out to wrap his glasses, plates, and bowls in and started to make his way through his cupboards. After a half hour he heard his phone beep with a new message. He placed a bowl into the second box he was packing and reached for his phone on the countertop. It was from Isabel.

'_Hey sexy. I can come over in an hour or so. ;)'_

He didn't want her to think it was anything but talking, but not a lot of what they had going was about talking anyway. He just had to face her in person; he wouldn't feel right if he didn't. He'd feel like a coward. And with that thought, Will began to pack up all the sharp things in the kitchen, just in case Isabel were to freak out…

* * *

Alicia finally finished her meetings with the clients, all of which were happy but didn't need a ton of legal help. She had put aside all her thoughts about her children being with their father for the rest of the day at work she still had, it was all too much to think about at one time. She said goodbye to mostly everyone still in the office and rushed home. She walked into the apartment and called out to see if anyone was home yet. There was no answer, and she glanced at her watch. It was already 5.30 and the kids still weren't home. Alicia sighed heavily and walked into the kitchen, placing her bag on the counter and leaving her jacket on a chair. She reached into a cupboard and pulled out the biggest wine glass she had. She took out a bottle of red and filled her glass halfway. Some self-medication was in order, she thought to herself and took a big sip of the rich liquid.

She was exhausted, from everything. In such a short time her life became unraveled, and once it had started to get back into shape, it got thrown around again and everything was up in the air. So much had happened in her life and she longed for the day that it would become calm again. Except she knew it wouldn't happen in quite some time. With not much else to do other than work, which she was in no mood to start, Alicia sat herself down on her couch with her glass of wine and turned on the television. Hoping she would find something that would distract her thoughts, nothing appeared. She decided to leave it on the news and keep the volume low.

She put up her legs, stretched out on the couch, and started to think through what she would say to Zach and Grace when they got home. She had to tell them that their parents weren't going to stay together. It isn't an easy conversation to have, she knew that first hand. She didn't know how angry or sad it would make them. It did all depend on whether Peter would be saying something to them right now, which just made Alicia mad. He didn't have the right to tell them when he was so reluctant to even discuss it with Alicia first. Then that's what she though herself, she should at least try and get Peter to talk to her properly before the kids were told. They would probably have questions and Alicia knew she wouldn't be able to answer them all on her own. So instead of having a Peter-free night like she intended, she would have to force Peter into a conversation about how to talk to their kids.

She stayed on the couch for another ten minutes, finished her wine and then decided to get up and change into more comfortable clothes. While she thought of it, she collected all the dirty clothes in the house and decided to do a load of washing. As she started the machine, she heard the door open and Grace called out.

"Mom, we're home. Are you here?"

"Yes, just doing laundry." She replied to her daughter and walked out to her children. As she walked towards her kids she saw Peter behind them standing at the elevator. She smiled to her kids and kept watching him. She had to try and get him to talk. Alicia maneuvered around her kids and walked to her husband.

"Peter, did you say anything to the kids?" She whispered, looking behind her to see that the kids were no longer there. He took a deep breath and turned to face Alicia.

"I haven't. No." He said sternly.

"We need to talk about them together first, I think." She said.

"We should, yes."

"Do you have a few minutes now?" Peter crossed his arms, looking at his watch while doing so.

"I have ten minutes and then I need to get back to the office." Alicia nodded.

"Come in then."

"I don't want to. Here is good enough." He wasn't going to budge on that one and Alicia wouldn't push it, so they stayed in the hall.

* * *

Will had just taped up the fourth box when he heard a knock at his door. He didn't know he had so much stuff in the kitchen, he thought as he walked to the door, knowing who it would be. He opened it carefully and saw a beaming Isabel who barreled into him with a hug. She clung to him and kissed his neck before he could shut the door. He pushed back a bit and she pulled away looking confused. He closed the door behind her and walked through to his couch.

"Hey Isabel." He said as he walked.

"Hi, what's wrong?" She asked him as she followed.

"We should talk about New York." He mentioned while he sat down on his coffee table. She sat down on the couch in front of him.

"Well I see boxes over there, is it about me packing? Because I have started and I don't want you to be worried about how much I have." She giggled a little. Will became nervous. He didn't want to let her down, but he had to. If he was going to pursue something with Alicia in the future when they had already discussed being together then he couldn't be with someone now.

"No, it's not about your packing. Or rather it is, but not exactly." He said softly. She looked confused again, obviously wanting some more information. "I don't think… It's a good idea for you to come to New York with me." He waited for the reaction. He looked at her. Her face was in disbelief for a few seconds, then she closed her eyes and her mouth dropped open, definitely not wanting to hear what she just did.

"You what?" She crossed her legs and arms and looked at Will. He didn't know what to tell her. He could say that he just didn't want to see her anymore and that would be that, but he felt liked he owed her more. He did ask her to move with him after all.

"It just isn't a good time for me. I'll be busy over there and I'll hardly see you. You shouldn't uproot your life here just to be with me when you'll hardly see me." She stood up and paced around for a bit.

"You're telling me that I have been packing up my place and changing everything for school and my address for weeks, for no reason at all?" She started to sound hostile and Will was glad he didn't have any knives out. He stood up with her.

"I'm sorry for all that. If there is anything I can help with that, let me know." He said, trying to make it better.

"Oh you think that'll help? Why did you even ask me if it was just to break it off with me and leave me here?"

"I asked you when I wanted you to come, and now I've given it more thought and it would be best if you stayed here." She paused for a while, Will seeing that she was thinking about something.

"Is this about _Alicia_?" She put emphasis on her name and Will didn't like to hear it. He hadn't mentioned her and even though it was about her, he didn't like how Isabel jumped to that conclusion.

"No, why would it be? I just need to be alone right now." Damn, he thought. That is one thing you never say when breaking it off with a girl.

"Oh, I see. Okay well you have a great time in New York _alone _then. That creepy jack-o-lantern guy was right. And say hi to Alicia for me!" She said sarcastically. Will then watched her as she stormed out of his apartment and slammed the front door behind her. He wouldn't go after her, that would defeat the purpose of having her over for their talk. Granted, it didn't go as well as he would have liked but he had broken up with Isabel which was the primary goal. Will felt a little guilty at getting her hopes up about moving, and that she now had to un-do all that she had done to get ready for moving, but he wanted more than anything to have a successful relationship with Alicia and he couldn't be with someone else for six months before it even began. He just wouldn't do that to her, even after everything that had happened.

Will took a few minutes to brush off what had just happened and then started to pack up some more of his things.

* * *

"I think I should be the one to tell the kids about us." Alicia told Peter as they stood in at the elevator doors.

"Sure, fine. Just don't tell them that it was just me wanting to end it." He said.

"I'd never do that, Peter. I would never bad mouth you to our children." Alicia felt appalled by him thinking that she would do that.

"Then what should you say to them?"

"Just that you and I are going to get a divorce, I guess." He nodded slowly. "We are definitely getting divorced then?" Alicia quietly asked him. She knew the answer and she had to ask, but she still couldn't bear to hear it.

"Yes. This is a definite. I'm talking to Eli about it tomorrow."

"You'll have to make a statement, right?"

"Yes. I'm not sure when yet. We'll need to sort out more details."

"When will we do that Peter? Are you going to make an appointment for me?" She said with disparagement. He looked at her like he was going to explode. She felt that it really did hurt him to even stand there with her and talk like this.

"I'll have to. We have to sit down for a long time and discuss it all. Now back to the kids. I think they'll want to know how their living arrangement will change, at some point."

"I don't see how it has to. They'll stay here for the majority of the time, and when you're in town, they can stay with you."

"Okay, that works with me." They both nodded and stood there, trying to think of anything else they could discuss.

"I think I've got it. If there is anything I can't answer I'll just let them know they can talk to you, shall I?" Alicia asked Peter, hoping he will continue to be cooperative.

"Yes. I'll be here for them." He paused and looked at her. "I apologize for raising my voice with you." She looked at him right back apologetically herself.

"You don't have to do that, Peter. It isn't necessary."

"I didn't mean to, I was just—"

"Frustrated and angry, I know. It's okay."

"No. It isn't. I don't like to yell at you. It's just a bad time now."

"I understand. You really don't have to explain it." They smiled slightly at each other. Peter took a step back and pushed the button for the elevator once again. Alicia waited with him until it arrived. Peter walked in and hit the ground floor button. Alicia moved to stand in front it and looked at her husband.

"I'm incredibly sorry, more than you know, Peter. I didn't want it to be this way." He took in her words and nodded. "I do love you." She told him, and the doors shut, separating them. Alicia stood there for a minute, fighting the urge to cry. She had to hold it together a while longer so she could speak with Zach and Grace. She walked back into the apartment and closed the door.

"Kids, come out here for a moment." She called out to her kids as she walked into the living room. They both came out and knew that they were going to have a talk. They all took their usual seats when it was something concerning Alicia and Peter. Zach and Grace on the couch and Alicia sitting in front of them on the cushioned coffee table. The kids looked at their mother with sorrowful looks.

"I think you know what's coming." Alicia started. "Your dad and I… We're going to get a divorce." No one said anything. Alicia still held back her tears, trying to stay strong for her kids. Grace wasn't doing well. Alicia clearly saw the tears welling in her eyes. Zach looked understanding.

"I… Um, I…" Zach started to say, not knowing where to go.

"Well what's going to happen between you and dad?" Grace asked her mother, her voice breaking from being so upset.

"Your dad is going to talk to Eli tomorrow about it and then he and I will sit down together and work it all out."

"Eli? Does it really matter that much when he's the governor?" Zach asked.

"It does. Unfortunately, it does matter. He'll have to make a statement eventually." Alicia told her kids.

"Is there really no way you can make it work?" Grace asked.

"Grace, remember what we talked about the other night?" She nodded. "I love your dad, but neither of us can be in this marriage anymore." Grace started to cry. Alicia moved over to her daughter and held her.

"So will you be with Will now?" Zach asked cautiously.

"No, Zach. I won't. This is all so new, there is a lot to sort out." He just nodded his head and looked down at his feet. "I don't feel as though I'm explaining all of this to you very well." Alicia said to them.

"You're going okay, mom. You're doing your best I suppose." Zach said. Alicia felt Grace nod her head and start to lift herself up.

"I love you." Grace said to her mother while wiping tears from her cheeks. Alicia held Grace's face in her hands.

"I love you too, so much. So, so much." Alicia kissed the top of her head and held her once more. "I love you too, Zach." She smiled at her son who got up and moved to sit next to his mom. He wrapped his arms around her and reached far enough to embrace Grace too. Alicia kissed his cheek and they all sat there for a long time. Alicia knew it wouldn't be easy getting through the next few months, but she was cheerful to know that at the end of it all, Will would be there with open arms.

When they family started to break apart, Alicia ordered them a pizza and gave Zach twenty dollars when it arrived. Alicia went to her bathroom and decided to take a very hot shower to relax a small amount. She locked the door behind her and turned on the shower taps. She stripped down and stepped under the water. Immediately she could feel like everything was washing away. Though it felt nice, she didn't want to feel like her marriage was washing away, but it was. She had put so much time and love and energy into it and to end it like this, Alicia was being destroyed. She started to break down in the shower and she let herself go. She dropped to the floor and cried about her entire life. It was rare when she let out everything she had but she took down all her barriers and let herself cry and scream about it.

* * *

After Will finished packing up all the utensils and tableware from the kitchen, he decided to call it a night. He ordered himself Thai food, knowing he couldn't use the kitchen anymore, which is was fine about. He wasn't one to use it much in the first place.

He walked his way into his bedroom and sat down on his bed, taking off his shoes. He had just started to take his socks off when his phone rang. He reached into his jeans pocket to answer it. He saw it was Alicia.

"Alicia?" He answered quickly.

"Will?" He could tell she was crying. She was sniffling, he could hear her heavy breathing and she sounded stuffy.

"Alicia, what's wrong?" He asked her seriously.

"I—it's—it's too hard, Will." His heart stopped. Was she saying once again that she couldn't be with him, that Peter was going to be her choice once again? He didn't want to hear it.

"What are you saying Alicia?" He lowered his tone.

"I'm hurting the kids. I—I love them so much. And you so much. And I know you won't hear it, but Peter too and I've ruined everything." She started to heave and catch on her own breath.

"Calm down, Alicia. Breathe, long and deep breaths, okay? You haven't ruined everything." Will understood then. It wasn't a call to say that she couldn't be with him. It was just like they had said, if she called him in tears he'd be there for her.

"I didn't think I'd ever put Grace and Zach through this." She told him.

"I know Alicia, but things happen. You love them and they love you, and even though their parents won't be together anymore, you will both be there for them. They'll be okay." He tried to comfort her, but he didn't know if what he was saying was the right thing.

"Okay. Yes, we're both here." Will heard her start to gain control of her crying.

"I know you can get through this and you'll stay strong."

"Uh huh. Yeah." They both paused. Will waiting to see if she had any more to say.

"Alicia?" He spoke.

"Yes, Will?"

"I love you. I'm always here."

"I love you too. I'm glad you're here. I don't want to have to wait six months, but it's for the best."

"I know. You can always call me. Even if it's in the middle of the night, but you do have to sort through this as a family." Will knew he couldn't be around. Peter would protest and the kids would just be confused and angry. "Six months isn't long. It'll be over before we know it." He reassured her the best he could.

"I know. Will?"

"Yes?"

"Can you just, stay on the phone with me for a while?" She asked softly. Will threw his legs up onto the bed and leaned against the bedhead.

"I'm here for as long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere."


	10. Chapter 10

Three Months Later

"How are you? You alright with everything?" Cary asked Alicia as everyone left the conference room from their Friday morning meeting. Three months had gone by since she and Peter decided to end their marriage. She had filed for divorce, Peter had made a statement that they ended it. Eli was mad as hell and didn't understand it at all, but Alicia knew he would get over it. He'd have to. The kids were okay. It took a while for them to adjust to the finality of their parent's relationship, but their actual situation had hardly changed. Alicia tried her hardest to make sure that they were happy, but they were in a state of just being constantly okay. They never seemed overly happy about much. She had expected that. Even if they did know about what was happening it didn't make it any easier. Especially with the press reporting on a lot of different stories surrounding the reasons for Alicia and Peter's divorce. That aspect didn't make anything easy for Alicia either. A few clients left her firm from all the press. Some had gotten concerned with the bad words being said, some were less impressed about not being close to the governor. Nothing was getting easier. Alicia never had time for herself. The only time she did was when she was asleep. She constantly wished that Will was only half an hour away and she could just go see him, but it was impossible. The best she had was a few calls every week and maybe a video call if neither of them were terribly busy, but they always were. She wasn't doing great, but how was she supposed to let that all out to Cary?

"It's tough, but I think I'm handling it okay." She answered as honestly as she could.

"You need a break from it all." He said casually.

"I do." She laughed to herself. Cary leaned back into his chair and looked to Alicia.

"Why don't you take the weekend?" He propositioned. She looked at him like he was crazy.

"Cary, I can't do that. I have so much work to do, as do you. I won't leave you to handle it all on your own. We're a team." She stated.

"I think I could handle it for a couple days over the weekend. Just go home early this afternoon and be at home with your kids." Alicia sighed.

"Peter has the kids this weekend so I can work."

"Then go have a day at the spa or something. Do something for yourself." Cary wasn't going to let her out of this. He knew what she had to go through and she was handling it all superbly, as always, but she was going at full speed for weeks now, and he knew when she needed to slow down.

"I don't go to the spa."

"As your partner, I am ordering you to go home and not work for two days." He looked at her very seriously. She stared back at him, trying to convince him with her eyes that she didn't need it. Cary raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

"Fine. I'll take two days off. Happy?" She caved in. It seemed like the only way out. She could still work from home, he would never know.

"I'm getting there." He smiled cheekily and got up from his chair. "Just stay until lunch and I'll let you go home."

"Thank you, boss." Alicia said to him as he walked out the room. Alicia got up herself and walked to her desk. An assistant stopped her on her way.

"Mrs. Florrick… Uh, I mean, Alicia. Your brother is on line two."

"Okay, thanks." Alicia rushed to her desk and answered the phone.

"Owen?"

"Hey sis. How are you?"

"Fine, Owen. And how are you?" Alicia had eventually told her family about Peter. She had to do it. She couldn't let them find out what was happening through the news. They would never forgive her. Of course they were happy for her that she finally wasn't attached to Peter anymore, but Owen was upset for his sister. Veronica was just over the moon. She recognized that her daughter was hurting but she wasn't ashamed to let it show that she was happy that Peter wasn't around.

"Oh fine. I was just sitting here in my office being very bored and wondered what my sister was up to."

"And?"

"And so I called you to find out."

"I'm working." Alicia loved her brother endlessly but he did happen to get bored often and called her out of the blue to have some idle chit-chat.

"I haven't seen you much. Neither has mom, by the way. She misses the kids."

"Well I'll try to find time to have you two around for dinner one night."

"Good." There was an awkward silence. Alicia had been meaning to tell Owen about Will but she was nowhere near ready, not that it would make any difference. They were months off from trying a relationship. A real one.

"I have to go now, Owen. It's still morning and I have a lot of work to get through."

"Oh yes, sure. Go to work and don't worry about your brother. I'll be fine." He said sarcastically. Alicia didn't have time for Owen playing that card this morning.

"Oh great! Goodbye Owen." And Alicia hung up the phone without letting him say goodbye. She set herself to work, determined to get a lot done before she would probably be physically forced out of the building at lunch due to Cary's order. She only wished that she could do the same for him; tell him to take the weekend off, but he was younger than her and had a lot more energy. And less family struggles. One day she'll be able to repay him.

* * *

Alicia had gotten home from work at lunch, with no idea what do to. She really didn't want to work anymore so she decided she would take Friday afternoon for herself and work on Saturday. The kids would go straight to Peter's place after school so she couldn't take them there and try to fit in a small amount of time. Zach decided to drive most of the time anyway. He voiced that it was probably for the best.

Alicia changed into some more comfortable clothes and sat on the couch, having no ideas with what to do. She sat there for five minutes then got back up to get her phone. She had a thought to text Will. What could be better when she had some free time, she thought to herself.

'_Hey. Up to much?' _She typed energetically, eager to hear from him. A few minutes later she got a response, and she was incredibly happy.

'_Not really. Slow day I guess, you?'_

'_Cary sent me home. For the whole weekend.'_

'_Really? I can imagine you not wanting to do that.' _They were sending and receiving their messages within minutes. Alicia only had Will who she could talk to about everything, and he'd understand. She didn't know how often she could get that from the rest of her inner circle of family.

'_I don't want to. I don't need to.'_

'_You do need to. You've been pushing yourself, have you even had a moment for yourself yet? Since that night.' _Alicia definitely knew what night he was referring to. She couldn't stop crying, even after the shower. The tears wouldn't stop and she didn't know what else to do but call Will. He almost always knew how to calm her down, and it was really only with his reassuring voice. They stayed on the phone to each other for a couple of hours. They didn't say a lot, but it was important for both of them and really helped.

'_I guess not, but I don't need one. I'm okay, really.'_

'_I know you. You might be okay but you need some time. The kids are with Peter, aren't they?'_

'_Yes. I can't even spend some time with them.'_

'_You worry too much about them. They're okay. It's good for them to know that they can see their dad.'_

'_How do you just know everything?'_

'_I just do. I am all-knowing.' _Alicia laughed out loud to herself. The sound filled the room and she noticed how lonely she really was.

'_I miss you.' _She typed and slowly hit send.

'_I miss you too. Give me ten minutes, someone needs something.'_

'_Okay.' _Alicia always felt less lonely when she was even just texting with Will. She didn't know how to explain it, it was just a message, but she felt that he could be sitting right in front of her. It gave her somewhat of an escape from her life in Chicago. He would talk about everything happening for him in New York and how exciting it all was for him and Alicia would disappear into the sound of his smooth voice and listen to his stories.

As Alicia started to walk to the fridge to find a snack her phone started to ring. It was Will. Of course, she thought.

"Hey." She answered very cheerfully.

"Hey. So, I have an idea." He said with caution. She noted that he seemed wary of whether he should even be asking.

"Which is?"

"I was just now thinking that… You should come to New York this weekend." Alicia paused and held her breath. She couldn't do that. She couldn't, could she?

"Never mind. Bad idea. It's too much and you will probably make yourself busy anyhow." Will said after she didn't make even a slight sound.

"No. It's—I—Would—" She started a few sentences but didn't know what to say. She would have to plan a trip like that. It was even six months yet. But she really wanted to. Everything in her body was screaming yes. To just buy a plane ticket that night and go to him and spend two days in a place where nobody would ask how she was, and give her sympathetic looks or those looks that implied that she was the problem in the very public marriage. She wanted to be with the man she truly loved.

"I want to, yes, I want to." She didn't have any obligations for the weekend and she needed to get away. It was very un-Alicia but that is why she wanted to go. She was always doing what was right and expected of her, but sometimes everybody needs to rebel and this was her opportunity.

"Really? You don't have to, it was just a spur of the moment idea."

"No, Will. I want to. _I need to. _I want to see you and it'll be good to get away for a couple days. I'm going crazy, right? That's what this is?" They laughed together.

"You were always a little crazy. Just be crazy with me." He didn't need to say much to be convincing. That was something about him that she loved, and partly why he was such a good lawyer. He rarely needed to say a lot of seem convincing.

"Okay. I'm going to book and flight right now." She walked into her bedroom where she had left her laptop and pulled it out of her bag. Will waited on the phone with her until she found a 5.30pm flight. "It's in a little less than four hours. Is that good for you?"

"Yes, that'll be fine. I can come pick you up from the airport." She heard Will become excited, and so did she. She suddenly couldn't wait for this to happen and knew it was a good decision. It would only be one weekend. They have done it before.

Alicia packed a small bag with a few changes of clothes. She considered packing a pair of pajamas but decided that there wouldn't be any need for them. She was sure of that.

She could barely sit still during her flight. It had been some months since she had last seen Will and she was very anxious to see him in person. To smell his familiar cologne and feel his warmth when he held her. It was seeing an old friend and lover but Alicia felt her heart flutter and tingle that spread through her veins and vibrated her whole body. Every touch of his hand and look from his eyes gave her such a good feeling. Like she would always have someone looking out for her, to be there for her. She loved the attention, no matter how much she wasn't supposed to.

She hurried through the airport to baggage claim. She walked over to her flights area and looked around. She was expecting to see Will around somewhere but she couldn't spot him. She let out a deep breath, heavy with disappointment. After a few minutes the bags started coming out and hers was one of the first, she was thankful for that. She picked it up and started slowly walking outside. She was close to one of the floors when she heard her name being called. She looked to her right and there he was. She paused for a few seconds and just looked right at him. He started smiling widely at her and she returned the smile, feeling every part of her body light up with happiness. She started moving slowly towards him. They met somewhere in the middle, eyes locked onto each other. She thought it was cliché but to her it had felt like everything stopped around them and they were the only two.

They stood within an inch of each other.

"Hi." Will spoke first, still with his huge smile and sparkly brown eyes.

"Hi." Alicia laughingly said. Will raised his hands and put them around her. She let go of her bag and held him tightly, burying her face into his neck. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. It was perfectly Will and she had missed it more than anything. She let it fill her senses and relaxed while holding onto him. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. They pulled away, disappointed that they couldn't hold each other longer.

Will picked up her bag, threw the straps over his right shoulder and placed his left arm around Alicia. They started to walk outside, beaming from finally seeing each other and not having to be worried about who could see them together. They got into a cab and started to go to Will's new apartment. Alicia wasn't sure where they were actually going. She had some knowledge of the city but not a lot, she never needed to.

The cab stopped out the front of a very nice looking building, Alicia thought. Of course, Will would only pick the best. They got out and Will took Alicia into the building. She noticed him smiling at the door man as he opened the door for them. She gave him a polite smile too. Will lead her into the elevator and pushed for floor 7. The doors closed and they both smiled to themselves. Alicia pulled her hand out of her coat pocket and slid her hand into Wills with his hand. They intertwined their fingers and she felt Will stroke her hand with his thumb. It was soothing and familiar, and something she never wanted to feel go away.

The elevator stopped at his floor and they wandered to apartment 702. Will pulled their hands out of his pocket and reached for his keys in the other pocket and opened the door. Alicia walked into his new place behind him. He'd left the lights on and she could see that the door opened to a huge room that had the living area and kitchen open. Just like his other place, she thought to herself. Except there was a hallway of the left, probably leading to his bedroom, presumably a study and maybe a guest room. She couldn't help but notice how big it was, with very high ceilings which she loved. It had all of his furniture from Chicago. It almost felt like a home to her, and she was only visiting for the first time, but it was all very Will and she loved it all.

"It's gorgeous Will."

"It looks better with you here." He got the sweet voice and charm out. "So this is the main area. There isn't much but I obviously didn't need something too big." Alicia nodded along and kept looking around. She walked over to the couch and took off her coat and boots.

"I'll just go put your bag in the bedroom. Down here," he pointed to the hallway, "The door down the end on the right." He began walking down the dark passageway and Alicia followed him, with only one thing on her mind.

She stood at the doorway, leaning against it, and watched him put her bag on the lounge chair by the window. He took off his coat and draped it over the back of the same chair. He turned around and saw Alicia looking at him cheekily. She pushed herself off the door frame and walked to Will.

She wrapped her arms around him. He began to caress her face and run his fingers into her hair. Alicia reached up to him and gently placed her lips on his. It was soft, tender. And that one simple kiss let them feel everything that they neglected to feel every other time; complete devotion. Will eased his mouth open a little more and Alicia happily invited his tongue to link with hers. Will slowly moved his hands down her back and pulled her closer to his body. Alicia wrapped her arms around his neck and became increasingly forceful with her kisses. She felt Wills hand sneak up her shirt and traced her spine. She shivered at his light touch. She needed to feel more of his skin, so she slid her hands around to Wills chest and started unbuttoning his shirt. They broke apart briefly as Will pulled of Alicia's sweater. Their lips were interlocking again without any pause. Will started to move their bodies against the wall. As Alicia hit the wall she let out a small moan. Will broke away and kissed along her jawline and found her sweet spot on her neck. He nipped, pecked and sucked there, making her squirm against him and reach for his jeans zipper. She felt his hot and heavy breath down her neck and stop at her breasts. She arched her back and rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes, feeling Wills soft yet indulgent kisses continue down her body. He slowly undid her jeans and slid them off her legs. He stood back up, smoothly sliding his hands back up her long legs. He kissed her neck once, twice, three times, Alicia feeling the tip of his tongue each kiss. She placed a hand on his cheek and looked him in the eye. She looked at him so lovingly, with so much hope. He returned the look and lightly pressed his forehead to hers.

Whispering ever so gently, Alicia said "I love you, Will."

"I love you. So much Alicia." He returned, and then he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him tightly and let him take her to his bed.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I must thank all of you who have reviewed this story here! It's certainly you guys who give me extra fuel to keep writing, so from the bottom of my heart I thank you. And I hope you like this new installment.**

* * *

Will woke up to an empty bed. He felt his heart drop a thousand feet into his chest. He expected to feel Alicia right next to him, holding onto him with her head resting on his shoulder. He lifted his head off his pillow and looked around. Their clothes were still scattered around the room, so that was a good sign, he thought. He got out of bed and went to his dresser. He took out a pair of boxers and put them on. He walked out into the hallway and knocked on the bathroom door. No answer. He sluggishly walked out to the living area, yawning as he went. He stopped when he saw Alicia standing by the window in a rug of his from the couch.

"Morning." He said softly. She jumped a bit and turned around to see him. "Sorry." He laughed at her being so startled.

"Good morning." She gave him a beaming smile. Will walked over to her and gave her a deep kiss.

"What are you doing?" He asked as she opened up the rug to let him in and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Just looking. I like that you have a small view of that square down there." She rested her head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

"It took forever to find a place that wasn't looking at another building." He laughed and Alicia felt it deep in his chest, loving the sensation. "You want some coffee?" He asked her.

"Mmhmm. In a minute." She held his closer and tighter, wanting to savor the moment of being with him. He kissed the top of her head and held her just as tight. After a couple minutes Will slid his arms down to Alicia's waist and lifted her up over his shoulder.

"What are you doing? Put me down Will!" But she didn't mean it. She laughed heartily as Will walked to the kitchen and set her down on the counter. He kissed her quickly and left the warmth of her embrace and their blanket. He put fresh coffee in the machine, pressed a few buttons and let it do its work. He returned to the blanket with Alicia. She'd spread her legs open so Will could be covered by the fabric. He held her close to him and kissed her impatiently. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her. Will could feel Alicia smile as he kissed her. Will pulled away.

"Do you want something to eat?" He asked her.

"Yes, please."

"What do you want? I'll make you anything." He smiled sweetly and she started to think as Will started to leave soft kisses across her cheeks and jaw. She moaned slightly from the feeling of his lips and wondering what to choose for breakfast.

"Can you make me one of your omelets?" She said hazily, concentrating on Wills hand, which was travelling slowly up the inside of her thigh.

"Sure. You want that now?" He moved his hand up a little more until it got …_there._

She grinned cheekily at him, tilted her head a little and bit her lip. "Not really. I want something else now."

* * *

"Thank you for breakfast." Alicia whispered into his ear as they sat on the couch, curled up with each other.

"You are very welcome." Will couldn't help but feel that it was just right. Sitting on his couch with a half-naked Alicia in his arms, making breakfast for the two of them. It felt perfect and normal to him, and he wouldn't want it any other way. In only another three months he would be able to have it this way often.

"I…" Alicia started, but she shook her head.

"What?" Will asked her, curious.

"I was going to say I should call Cary."

"You want to call him now?" Will was definitely confused.

"I should see how work is going and if he needs anything." She said casually.

"If he needs something, he'll call you. Stop worrying about things."

"I can't help it. It's all I ever do these days." Will felt for her. He didn't want her to worry about anything. She was such a complicated and powerful woman; she already had too much on her plate without worrying. Worrying just doubled her stress level, and he knew it.

"You worry way too much. Just relax for a while. Just while you're here. Please." She looked him straight in his eyes, dead serious.

"You have no idea Will. I understand that you have a lot going for you but you really don't know all the stress I'm under. I did come here to be with you and just relax for a couple of days but that doesn't mean I can't worry." She took a deep breath. "I'm constantly worried about my kids. They talk to me but I really have no idea what is going on inside their heads right now. I've tried so hard to protect them from everything but they get into the crossfire sometimes and it frustrates me. I hate it." Will heard her voice get to a slightly higher pitch, she was getting upset. He felt terrible.

"I know you worry about them. Sure, I don't have kids of my own but I understand that mothers are constantly worrying about their kids. I didn't mean to make you feel like you should just forget about them. I didn't mean to make you upset." He looked at her with sympathetic eyes. The one look that makes her smile in a bad moment. And she smiled at him and leaned on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I just… It's been a rough few months. It just feels so good to be with you." She spoke quietly. Will started to stroke his hand up and down her back comfortingly.

"I know. It feels great to have you here with me in my arms. You can talk to me about anything, Alicia. You know that."

"I do, yes. I love you."

"I'll never get tired of hearing those words come from your mouth." Will softly laughed and Alicia joined him.

"We should get dressed." She said to him.

"I guess we should." Neither of them moved from their embrace. Will didn't want to disturb their peace and warmth. If he had it his way he would never let go of Alicia. They would just stay on his couch, or in his bed holding each other. Except he had neglected to tell Alicia he had to go into the office for a couple of hours. He was going to tell her when she arrived but there was absolutely no time for that because as they walked in the door they were very much going at it. Except he knew it was now or never, and it had to be now.

"I have to get dressed and…"

"And?"

"And go into the office for a while."

"Oh. Of course. I didn't expect you to just drop everything to spend time with me. Go have a shower and get dressed." Alicia pulled herself away from him and smiled briefly.

"It's already nine thirty, I really should get ready."

"Yes, go. Go shower, seriously. I'll go put some clothes on too." Will leaned in and kissed her. He pulled away ever so slightly but she leaned into him and deepened the kiss. She pushed him back onto the couch and straddled him.

"On second thought, I should shower too." Alicia whispered in between kisses. Will smiled and couldn't help but wrap his arms around her and lift her up as he stood. She wrapped her legs around him to hold on as he walked to the bathroom, her kissing him passionately every step of the way.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to come? Maybe you can just see the new digs and then take a walk." Will said to Alicia as he got dressed.

"Will, its fine. I'll be fine here. I'll just… Read a book or something."

"I don't want you to be bored or anything."

"I'm okay, really. If I do get bored I can still go for a walk."

"Alright. Just making sure." He walked over to the end of his bed where Alicia had chosen to sit. "I'll be a few hours. You made me late." She smiled cheekily up at him.

"I didn't make you late for anything. Besides, you are the boss. And the boss gets to go into work late on a Saturday."

"Just like the boss can take the weekend off and run away?"

"Yes. Bosses can do anything." He stood over her and reached down to give her a quick kiss.

"I'll be home soon." He tucked some of her wet hair behind her ear and stood back. He slowly moved out of the bedroom and to his front door, Alicia following him closely. He picked up his briefcase and jacket from the table by the door and turned to face Alicia.

"I left my computer in the study if you so very desperately get the urge to email Cary about something." He said.

"Yes, okay. Ha ha. I'll try to restrain myself." She said mockingly.

"I'll see you later." He smiled sweetly and she took a few steps to him, rested her hands on his chest and kissed his lips softly.

"This just feels so… Normal." She said, almost shocked.

"I know. It's a little strange, unknown."

"Okay, get out of here. Don't be later than you already are."

"We'll go grab some dinner when I get back?" He asked while opening the door. She just smiled and nodded. She blew him a kiss just before he shut the door. Will felt reassured that she had told him it felt pretty normal for her. He wanted to say something but he wasn't sure how well she'd take it. It really hadn't been long since she split with Peter and Will didn't want to step on her toes about the issue. Of course he wanted to be with her and be a family with her and even her kids, but how was he to know if she was ready for something that big? He felt it wouldn't be the same as the last time. It was going to be real this time, not a secret affair.

* * *

Alicia stood at the door. Just looking at it. She loved that Will was running off to work. It had felt like years earlier in her marriage when Peter would rush off to work in the morning and she'd kiss him goodbye, except this time it felt better. It wasn't going to be a day of her trying to get her kids ready in time for school, running errands across town and slaving over a hot stove to get some dinner on the table while simultaneously getting Zach and Grace to complete their homework and not have a silly sibling fight over who had who's toys. Everything was different and she enjoyed it, not that she didn't miss an eight year old Zach and six year old Grace. She loved her life in Highland Park before the scandal. She was happy with it, but now that she was on the other side of it, everything was just a little bit better.

She made her way to Will's study and took a look over all of his books. A lot of them were classics that she had either read or didn't feel like trying to make sense of some of them. She was in an extremely light mood. She scanned over the titles and spotted _To Kill A Mockingbird. _She slid it out of its spot on the shelf and opened the first page. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized her own hand writing.

_Will soon-to-be-lawyer Gardner,_

_I hope that you become a great lawyer like Atticus one day and defend rightfully innocent people. And for your sake that you get to make such a moving and overly long speech like him. I'm sorry the one you made in our mock trial probably made us lose (because I did a good job), but hey, we'll drink a lot of beer to try and forget._

_Alicia_

She couldn't believe he had kept the book she gave him as a consolation prize from their terrible mock trial. In their defense, it was the first one they had to do, but their actual defense was terrible. A lot of things get lost over the years, especially books like _To Kill A Mockingbird_. Everybody had at least one copy in their life but somehow people would always lose it. At least the people she knew did, except for Will apparently. It couldn't be just because it was a gift from her, but it soon dawned on her that it probably was. She had still kept the silly mix tape he had made her. She hadn't listened to it in years but she can remember clearly the one song that they would dance to over and over again in their study breaks; Queen's _Don't Stop Me Now._ It was probably the lamest thing she had ever been given but she loved it and used listen to it often.

Alicia clutched the book to her chest and smiled to herself. She decided to start reading it while Will was gone. She sat down in Will's desk chair in his study and noticed the computer. She firstly decided to check her emails; just to be sure that everything was okay. It was that nagging in the back of her head, and she had to satisfy it if she was going to read. She logged in and immediately got concerned.

_13 unread emails._

Her heart started beating three times as fast as normal. Half of them were from Eli. She quickly opened the first in the list.

She didn't believe what she was reading. She didn't want to. It was false information. It wasn't real. It couldn't be what Eli was saying, what every other message said. She thought to herself that it was just a vicious rumor that was going to go away, until she clicked on a link Eli had sent her.

And she believed it, it was all true.

* * *

Will made his way to the office, a couple of hours late but it shouldn't matter. He was the boss and it was a Saturday. And it was for sex, which he was sure that if he had shared that information to some of his co-workers they would understand completely.

"Good morning, Mr. Gardner." His assistant greeted him as he walked into his office.

"Good morning, Alison. How are you this fine morning?" He smiled widely at her.

"I, uh, I'm good." She tucked some of her long golden brown hair behind her ear and looked down, seeming to be embarrassed. Will could see her cheeks go slightly red. "Mr. Graham left you a message earlier this morning. He would like to discuss something with you when you got it."

"Okay, thanks Alison. I'll go see him right now." Will took off his jacket and gave it to Alison to hang up. He placed his briefcase on his desk and walked out to find one of his New York partners, Henry Graham. Henry was one of the most eager lawyers he had met while in New York and knew he would make a great addition to L/G. He was a nice enough guy but was completely cutthroat in court when he had to be. Henry was the closest thing Will had to a friend in New York. Will had neither the time or desire to actually make friends while there, so he was just happy that he had a workmate who he could grab a beer with and watch a game with every now and then. Will walked into his colleague's office.

"Henry. What's up?" Will said cheerfully and took a seat in front of the desk.

"Morning, Will. First of all, one of my clients that I brought over to the firm, Mr. Fischer from the Adi Club, would like to sit down and have a small meeting with you. He just wants to know what type of representation he would be getting from us in case he gets sued again."

"Good. Set up a meeting." He was extremely happy at the moment. He had been somewhat cheerful over the months with the new branch and how it was starting up pretty well, and because of Alicia, but now she was in the same city, in his apartment, in his bed, and Will was over the moon. He wasn't sure if he could be happier.

"Second of all. Did you hear about the governor of Illinois's daughter? It's crazy what happened. It was just released just a couple of hours ago. It's sick how someone could do that to a teenage girl." Henry said as he leaned back into his chair.

Will froze. Something had happened to the governor's daughter. Peter's daughter. Alicia's daughter. Grace. What happened to Grace?

"I- I haven't heard anything. What happened?" Will asked slowly, guardedly.

"There is this website out there that has secret webcam access to girl's bedrooms and bathrooms sometimes. It's called Secret Keyhole and there are reports and pictures out there of Grace Florrick on the site." Henry said, deathly serious. Will wasn't hearing him right, it couldn't be true.

"That cannot be true. Photoshop probably." He tried to brush away the accusations that it was Grace.

"There is a real video proving it really is her. I can't believe someone would do that to young girls. It's disgusting." Will agreed, it was perverted. He felt rage surge through his body that vibrated his fingertips.

"Who would do this? It isn't just sick and disgusting. That's child pornography. Who is responsible for this?" Henry just shrugged his shoulders, not knowing. Will was definitely going to find out and just watch Alicia sue him and destroy him.

Alicia.

"Shit. Fuck." Will quickly got up from the chair and marched towards his office.

"Mr. Gardner? Is everything okay?" Alison asked, Will hearing it faintly and not answering. He stormed into his office, slamming the door shut behind him. He was now thankful that he had four proper walls to his new office and not glass. He took out his phone and called Alicia's cell. The line was busy. So she had probably found out, he thought. He called his home phone and on the fourth ring Alicia answered.

"Will. It's about Grace. I—I don't know what's… I don't know." She sounded angry and frantic. He could tell that she was on the verge of tears, but she would probably be in too much shock for them to start streaming down her face yet.

"I know. I've heard. We'll figure this out and fight it. Take a deep breath."

"I have to go home. I have to go now. I can't believe I just left like this. What type of fucked up person would do this?" She yelled into the phone.

"I'm coming to pick you up now and take you to the airport."

"I'll just pack my things and grab a cab. I have to go right now."

"No. I'm taking you. You pack your bag and go online to buy a ticket. I'll be there in twenty minutes. Okay?"

"Fine. I just…" He detected that she had calmed down a small amount, due to her not screaming anymore.

"It'll be alright Alicia. Trust me."

"I… Okay." He knew she wasn't going to believe it, Will wasn't sure he believed it either. This was bad. It was terrible. It was one of the worst things to happen and it might not be okay. He still left work and took Alicia to the airport.

"I'll see you soon. Call me later." He spoke into her ear as he held her just before she was about to board the plane.

"Okay. Thanks Will. I'm sorry." She said softly.

"I get it. Of course you have to go. I love you, okay? Never forget that."

"I couldn't. I love you too." Will pulled back from their embrace and kissed Alicia on the cheek. She tried to smile at him but she couldn't even fake a smile. She boarded the plane and Will watched the plane take off.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Well, I really hope you all somewhat like the Grace issue. And that you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think. :-)**

As soon as Alicia stepped off the plane she immediately called Grace from the nearest pay phone she spotted at the airport. She hadn't noticed her phone had battery had died while she was at Will's and there wasn't any time to charge it. She put in Grace's number, and it rang out. She tried Zach; he didn't pick up either. She then tried the home phone but again no one answered. She slammed the phone back on the hook, frustrated, and got a few strange looks. She got out of the airport as fast as she could and took a taxi back to her apartment. As she walked into her apartment, she called out for the kids. And again, no answer. They must still be with Peter, she thought to herself. She walked into her bedroom and dropped her bag by the foot of the bed. She took out the phone charger and plugged it in. It turned on after a minute or so and she dialed Grace once more.

"Mom?" Alicia knew immediately that her daughter was crying. There was no mistaking it.

"Grace, honey, are you okay? Where are you and Zach?"

"Mom." She did nothing but cry, and cry. She was, understandably, very upset. Alicia didn't know what to feel. She had done so much to try and protect her children, especially her daughter and here they were, stuck in the worst possible situation that could ever happen.

"Grace, talk to me." She now started to get anxious and her voice was reaching that pitch when she starts to cry.

"Mom?" Zach had taken the phone, and he too sounded upset.

"Zach. Tell me what is going on? Where are you?"

"We're at dads. We've been trying to call, was your phone off?" He sounded angry and Alicia couldn't blame him. When something like this happens you want to call your parents and feel safe but she had been absent.

"I'm sorry honey, my phone went flat. How has this happened?" She needed answers, and she wasn't entirely sure that Zach had any but it was definitely worth the try finding out.

"I… I don't know how it happened. Dad is trying to sort it out, but mom. Grace is not okay. We keep getting calls from people at school and just random people. It's so annoying. It's getting crazy."

"Okay, I'm coming to you right now. I'm leaving home now. I'll be there soon, okay Zach?"

"Okay, I'll let dad know."

"I love you, and tell Grace I love her."

"I will. Love you too." Alicia hung up, grabbed her keys from the kitchen and left for Peter's right away.

As she arrived to Peter's, Alicia didn't know whether she should just try walking through the door or knocking first. Peter usually knocked when he came by her apartment but this was a crisis and she wasn't sure. She stood at the door and kept either reaching up to knock or going for the handle. She stayed there for a few minutes and eventually decided to just knock. The door opened and she saw Zach standing there.

"Hey mom. Come in." He greeted and opened the door further to let her in. She reached out to him for a hug and heard Grace calling out.

"Is that mom?" Alicia heard from somewhere else in Peter's apartment. She was still upset and Alicia could hear that she was still crying.

"Yes, Grace. I'm here." She heard fast footsteps coming towards her and then Grace appeared. She was red in the face with tear stains on her cheeks and more falling from her eyes.

"Mommy." Grace barreled into her mother and gripped her tightly.

"Oh sweetie, it's going to be okay." The girl just started to cry uncontrollably. Alicia stroked her hair and gave her a kiss on top of her head every now and then. Alicia turned her head to Zach who was still standing at the door.

"Zach, honey, where's your dad?"

"He was here… He left to go talk with Eli about it a while ago." Alicia tried her hardest to suppress the urge to yell out how Peter could leave his daughter at this time. Of course something had to be done but apparently Peter couldn't even stand to be in the same room with her. Alicia started to lift Grace off her body gently and took her face in her hands.

"We'll figure all this out, okay?" She said softly. Grace nodded while wiping her tears away with her sleeves. "How about you go sit down with Zach for a bit while I call dad and see what he knows."

"Okay." Grace gave her one last tight hug and walked into the living room with Zach following her. Alicia dug through her bag looking for her phone. She walked through the relatively unfamiliar apartment until she reached the kitchen and then dialed Peter's number.

"Alicia, good." He sounded stressed, and busy. What wasn't normal about that, Alicia thought to herself.

"Hi Peter. Please, just let me know what the hell is going on."

"Okay. Here's what we know. Someone anonymously sent information about Grace being… On this site. We think it was uncovered because of all this mess surrounding the divorce. Reporters and people who want money or fame or whatever are trying to find dirt and I guess someone found something." His voice immediately got angry. Alicia could tell he would be gritting his teeth to try and suppress his anger. "No one is actually releasing any photos or footage, obviously for legal reasons that she is a minor and some of it is nudity." Alicia pressed her hand to her forehead; it was too crazy for this to happen. It couldn't be happening, and yet it was. "Eli is trying to figure out who sent this information in. He probably won't find anything, but we have to try."

"Right. Of course." They both paused, unsure of what to try and say next. Peter had informed Alicia of all he knew and there wasn't much else to know.

"How's Grace?" He asked her with a low voice.

"She's… I don't really know. She's just crying. She's upset, Peter. I don't know what she's thinking or even feeling. It isn't easy. It's the worst thing to happen."

"Understandably." He paused. "I don't mean to bring it up…"

"Bring up what?" She probed, carefully.

"Where were you this morning when it all went down?" Alicia took in a deep breath. She had let the kids know that she was going to New York for the weekend, but she didn't tell them why. She only mentioned it was work, which was a lie but she wasn't sure if they'd be okay with her seeing Will. She knew that they wanted her to be happy, but she didn't know if they were ready to handle something like her and Will. And now wouldn't be the most ideal time to bring it up, with them and especially not with Peter.

"I was… In New York for work and my phone had gone flat." She couldn't tell if he was going to believe her or not. It was definitely not the truth and after so long of knowing one another, he could usually tell when she was lying.

"Okay. Well you're there now, which is the important thing." Regardless of what he believed, he chose to forget about it. She was thankful for that, but she had a feeling that he knew where she was precisely.

* * *

"Grace. We have to tell mom." Zach mentioned to his sister.

"No. She can't know we know. I thought you stopped this, by the way." She managed to say through her sobs.

"I thought so too, but it was out there for I don't know how long. I'd assume people would take screenshots or something. Sorry Grace, but people are horrible and would do that." He said warily.

"Do you think Stiles told people?" She looked at her brother, pleading to him with her eyes to give her some good news.

"Maybe. I don't think he was all that happy that I hit him." She laughed, and it made Zach a little happier that she still had a sense of humor in this time. "If you want this to stop, we have to tell mom. It's the best thing to do, Grace. We already kept it from her last time and it has gotten worse."

"I don't want to. We'll get into so much trouble for saying anything in the first place." She was getting irritated with Zach.

"Grace…"

"No. We're not telling mom."

"You're not telling mom what?" Alicia inquired as she walked back into the room.

"Busted…" Zach whispered to himself.

"What are you not telling me?" Alicia asked again, with raised eyebrows.

"Nothing. It's not important." Grace said quickly. Zach shot her a quick look of panic.

"We-"

"Zach, no!" Grace almost screamed at him.

"Shut up Grace, we're telling her."

"Don't tell her to shut up, Zach. Just tell me." Their mother said calmly as she walked slowly towards them and sat down across from them in one of the grey lounge chairs. Grace was panicking, her tears had stopped.

"I don't want to." Grace said, tensely.

"Then I will."

"Somebody just tell me already." Alicia raised her voice, getting sick of their tug-o-war game. Zach looked down to his feet.

"We knew."

"Ugh, I hate you!" Grace yelled at her brother and turned away from him, tucking her feet up beneath her on the couch and folding her arms.

"You knew what?" Alicia asked both of them, confused.

"We knew that the webcam was hacked and that Grace was on this site thing." Zach said softly, scared of his mother's reaction. Alicia froze, processing the information. She clearly didn't hear him correctly.

"What?" She said, quietly, intensely.

"When I thought someone was RATing your computer, it was actually someone else RATing Grace." Alicia slowly shook her head, trying to figure it out.

"How long ago did you find out?"

"A couple days after I thought it was just your computer."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Zach went silent. He looked over at Grace who continued to not give them any eye contact.

"I don't know. We just didn't." Zach finally said. Alicia nodded to her son and looked over to Grace.

"Grace, why didn't _you_ say anything?" Grace glanced over at her mother who gave her a worried smile.

"I don't know… You were busy with your firm thing, and like Zach said, we just didn't." And just like that, an ocean's worth of guilt washed over Alicia. She always wanted to be there for her kids and let them know they could tell her anything, but to them she seemed too busy for them. It was like getting a baseball bat to her stomach. Alicia stood up and went over to Grace and sat down next to her.

"Sweetie, I will always have time for you. You can come to me about anything at any time. I'm so sorry you thought that I didn't have time for you." Grace turned back around and leaned against her mother who just held her.

"Now that we're here, is there anything else that you have to tell me?" Alicia threw out there. Grace tensed up a little bit, wondering if Zach would say anything about it being Stiles.

"I don't have anything else. Promise." He voiced. Grace relaxed again, grateful that her brother wasn't such a big blabber-mouth.

"I don't have anything either." Grace mentioned.

"Okay, good. Now, Grace, dad and Eli are getting on top of this and we're all going to make sure it goes away."

"Thanks." She said quietly. She was mostly concerned with how things would be at school. Her school friends had already tried to call her and ask if she was okay but half of them just wanted to know information like 'Did you know it was happening?' and 'Did you set it up yourself?' Grace knew they were just being mean and judgmental, but she was incredibly mortified about the whole issue. No one would ever look at her the same. They'd either have an incredible amount of sympathy for her, or just blame her for not realizing what was happening and Grace didn't think she would ever be ready to face it all in school. She knew that Zach would get the same questions she would, and that he would be better equipped to deal with it. He was tough and resilient but Grace was fragile. She had definitely grown up over the past year or so, she had gotten more confident with herself but something like this breaks you. You are left vulnerable and exposed, literally in this case. Grace broke apart from her mother.

"I'm just going to go to my room. I don't feel like talking anymore." She just wanted to crawl into bed and hide under the covers until it was either all over, or she died. She didn't care which came first.

"Sure. I love you, you know that." Alicia told her.

"I love you too." Grace got up from the couch and walked out of the room. Alicia turned around and faced Zach, who looked nervous.

"It's pretty bad, isn't it?" Zach asked.

"Yes. It's pretty bad. We're handling it though." Alicia tried to assure her son the best she could. He was old enough to understand how bad it was, he was smart, but it didn't make it any easier. It made it worse knowing how bad it was and both Zach and Alicia were concerned about how bad it would actually get.

"Do you want to come home with me later?" She asked.

"I… I don't know. You'll have to ask Grace." Alicia nodded.

"I think I might want to stay here." Alicia was a little stunned by her son.

"I'm not mad at you for not telling me you knew, if that's what you're worried about. I'm not pleased that you didn't tell me… But I'm not going to be angry with you."

"It's not that. I just want to be with dad." He said carefully.

"Oh, okay. Well it's fine. I'll let you stay here. I don't expect you to go to school tomorrow though. I know it's important you go, but I know the blow back both you and your sister will get from this so if you want to stay away from it, I'm okay with it. Only one day though."

"Okay, thanks mom. I'm going to go to my room and study then." Zach gave his mother a small smile and left. Alicia just sighed heavily and fell back onto the couch. It was stressful, of course it was. She was horrified that something like this would happen to her little girl. She knew Grace was probably getting unwanted attention on account of her showing off her beauty, more than Alicia definitely liked, but she didn't know it would lead to something like this. She didn't understand that there were people out there who would be this sick and twisted. She was still just a teenager, it wasn't right.

While sitting alone, Alicia decided it was time to call Cary and check in with him. She made her way slowly back to the kitchen and went to call him.

"Alicia, hey." He sounded surprised that she was calling.

"Hi, Cary. How is everything there?"

"Uh, it's good, but really, how are you doing? How's your daughter?"

"It's getting sorted out. She's… Well, I don't know. She is upset about it, but I think she's going to be okay eventually."

"If there's anything I can do, or anyone here, just let me know."

"Thanks Cary, I think we're okay for now. Is there anything at work I can do?"

"No, no, no. You are still on you time, Alicia. Be with your family. Seriously, I'd feel like a jerk if I were to say come into work." She managed to let out a small laugh.

"Alright. Thanks Cary. I'll talk to you later."

"Sure. See ya." Alicia had to admit that Cary was most likely the best person she had worked with. He took things very seriously but he was also a little laid-back. Sometimes Alicia hated that in him, but he always did his work and made sure that the rest of their associates did too. He was getting really good at just saying the right things to her. The most comforting and understanding things, and yet he encouraged her at the same time. She really couldn't ask her for a better partner, even if she had told herself that before, she would probably say it for years to come.

* * *

At 8PM Alicia had decided to go back to her own place, Grace going with her. She wasn't entirely pleased that Zach wasn't going with her also, but he was old enough to make his own decisions and if that meant staying with his dad then she would have to accept it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be here earlier. I had stayed as long as I could but I had to get Eli on this and get to the bottom of it." Peter told her as she was ready to leave.

"Peter, really, it's fine. I understand. Of course you had to go sort it out. I'm glad that that's what you did." She gave him a weak smile. It had been tense between them for months. He most likely wouldn't ever get over the fact that she had said she loved Will, and she didn't expect him to.

As Grace emerged from her room with her school bag and her small clothes bag Peter walked to the door and opened it up. Grace went to her father and hugged him tightly. Zach came out soon after to see them off.

"Call if you need anything, okay Zach?" Alicia asked her son as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I will, yeah." He lifted one arm up around her, not getting into the hug.

"Okay, we better go." Alicia and Grace left Peter's and began to drive home. Grace was silent the whole drive home and just gazing out the window, not really looking at anything. As they got back to the apartment, Alicia asked Grace if she wanted anything to eat.

"I can make pancakes?" She offered.

"No, I'm not really hungry." Grace brushed off.

"You haven't eaten since lunch."

"I'm just not hungry. I'm going to go to bed early." Grace said as she slowly walked to her room and closed the door loudly. Alicia wanted to be there for her daughter, but didn't want to feel like she was encroaching. The best she could do was just being in the same house as her. If she wanted to talk it was only a few steps away.

Alicia didn't feel like eating either and went straight to her bedroom. She sat on the end of her bed and closed her eyes. It was possibly the longest day she had in a long, long time. And the issue at hand had only just begun. She was tense all over and wanted the day to be over. She wanted the whole week to be over already. Instead of sleeping, she ran herself a hot bath. She lit some candles in the bathroom and got herself a big glass of wine. She slipped off her clothes and sunk into the hot water. She took a gulp of her wine and let herself relax. After ten minutes she reached for her phone and called Will.

"Hey. Hi, how's it going?" The sheer sound of Will's voice made Alicia feel better. It didn't matter what he said, just something made her feel better.

"It's crazy. I don't know what's happening anymore. Grace is being distant, which I understand. She's mortified. Zach doesn't even want to be in the same house as me though. And there are some real fucking creeps out there in this city." She didn't have the energy to filter her thoughts and words. She was very much over having to do that.

"I know. It's wrong. I don't know why people would do this. I have no idea who would be stupid enough to tell the media about it."

"Someone who wants a quick pay-day, I'd imagine." She took another sip of her wine.

"I'm sorry for Grace… It really can't be easy for her."

"No, it isn't. I can't even think what type of state I'd be in if this happened to me when I was her age. It's extremely humiliating. She's getting these horrific calls and messages about it. The kids at her school won't leave her alone." She heard Will take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I can't do more." He said quietly.

"Just talking to you makes me feel better, so that's enough."

"I wish I could be there for you."

"Me too." Alicia was surprised that she wanted him there with her. It was a serious family issue, and she wasn't sure how he felt about family, especially a family that wasn't his. She wanted him to be there and properly meet her kids and see if they could make it all work, but it really wasn't the right time for any of that. She just wanted to be held by Will and let him just take away all the hurt and pain she was feeling for a few hours, at the least. She was definitely careful about letting him into her family. Not that she didn't want it, but it was just so soon after her separating with Peter. It was something new to her kids, and she was always going to be concerned for them. They always come first for her, and she wasn't certain how they would accept a new man into their life. She was usually opposed to it when her mother would bring home a new guy. She sure as hell didn't like the type of half of them, they were just scumbags and they would soon be gone but Alicia and Owen hated almost all of them right away. Obviously Will wasn't a scumbag, he was a very good man but it was never easy for a child to accept that their parents would be with other people. It was normally uncomfortable for them.

"Are you okay?" Will interrupted her thoughts.

"Oh, yeah. I'm okay. As okay as I can be."

"It was only half a day, but this place feels really empty without you here." Will mentioned.

"I'm in my home, with my daughter but somehow it feels pretty empty without you here with me."

Alicia talked to Will for a while longer, mostly just hearing him talk and her listening to the sweet and soothing sound of his voice. She eventually got out of the tub as the water started to get cold and as she had finished her glass of wine. She could barely get to sleep, and when she finally had it was one of the worst night's sleep she had ever gotten. She awoke early in the morning and checked on Grace, who was fast asleep. Alicia would let her take a couple more days off from school than Zach because it was just cruel to put her through the torture she would receive from the kids there.

As Alicia left Grace's room she heard a light knocking at her door. She made her way to the door, hesitant to open it, but she wondered who it could be. She steadily opened the door and was instantly shocked.

Will stood in front of her, with a beaming smile.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Woah! All of your responses were so great! And they just got me in such a good and writing mood. I was excited to write this new chapter, so I'm posting it right now for all of you to be excited too! :-) Keep those comments flowing in guys!**

* * *

"Will…" Alicia said, very unenthusiastically. She wasn't entirely sure why he was standing at her door. She wasn't entirely sure whether she wanted him there. It was so unexpected.

"I just thought I'd come into town for a couple of days." He spoke quietly, unsure of himself. Obviously reacting to her unexcited greeting.

"Uh huh…" Alicia wasn't responding well to him. Her mind was a huge mess, especially from just waking up and not even having a sip of coffee yet. Will eyed her carefully, waiting for more of a reaction from Alicia, other than her just staring at him.

"I could go?" He offered, not wanting to leave but he felt like he hadn't had the great thought he did the night before to visit her. Alicia looked down to the ground and shook her head.

"No- I- It's just…" She looked back up at Will who was patiently waiting for her response. "Come in, Will. Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you." She was almost proud of herself; she actually put together a proper sentence. She stepped back to let Will into the apartment. He skimmed past her, gently brushing against her body.

"Do you want some coffee?" She bleakly asked while closing the door.

"Sure, sounds good." She nodded and gave a weak smile as she slowly walked into the kitchen. Will left his small bag in the hallway and started to take off his coat as he followed her. He draped it over the back of the chair and sat down at the counter.

"I'm happy to see you." Alicia murmured cheerfully while she prepared the coffee. She felt like she could have chosen something better to sleep in other than some old, daggy grey sweatpants and a light blue singlet that had a few small holes in it. She was definitely not expecting a handsome looking Will Gardner to show up at her door, but it didn't stop her wanting to look better for him somehow.

"I'm happy to see you too. I'm sorry to just show up." He said softly.

"No, it's fine. I just- I wasn't expecting it." She bit her lip nervously, out of habit really. She wandered over to Will and put her hands over his, which were clasped together on the counter top. He leaned forward and gave her a small kiss.

"I should wake Grace up and let her know you're here. So she doesn't freak out if she walks out here."

"You don't have to wake her. I have to go into the office and meet Diane. I just wanted to see you first." Alicia smiled and felt a little giddy over the fact that he wanted to see her first thing. Her mind darted to the bag he brought in with him.

"Did you just come from the airport then?" She asked.

"Yeah. Fresh off the plane. I'll check in at the hotel in a couple hours." Alicia instantly felt a wave of relief roll over her, and then she shut down the feeling. She didn't think she was supposed to feel that it was a relief her… Someone… Wouldn't be staying with her while he was in town.

"Okay, sounds like a plan." She eventually said, feeling awkward because of her own internal feelings. She gently stroked his hands then walked to a cabinet, took out two large mugs and filled them with hot coffee. She placed one of the mugs in front of Will.

"I'm just going to quickly tell Grace you're here, I'll be right back." She placed a hand over his shoulder for a moment and let it fall away as she made her way to her daughter's bedroom. She eased the door open slowly. Grace was still asleep. Alicia tip-toed over to the bed and started rubbing her arm gently.

"Grace. Grace, honey." She whispered close to her ear. She started to move a bit. "Grace." Alicia said a little louder. Grace turned over onto her back and tried to open her eyes.

"Mmm?" Was the only sound Grace could possibly make after being woken up.

"I'm sorry to have to wake you up." Alicia stroked the top of Grace's head.

"Mom?" She said with a groggy, rough voice.

"I just thought I'd let you know that someone is in the kitchen. Just before you were to walk out there and see them." Alicia wasn't sure on whether to tell her it was Will. If she asked, she would say who it was but it was still a touchy subject, especially now.

"Mmhmm." Grace mumbled.

"Okay, you go back to sleep. Sorry." Alicia said sympathetically. Grace rolled back over and almost immediately went back to sleep. Alicia softly walked back out of the room, being careful with the door, and returned to the kitchen. Will smiled at her as she reached him.

"Is she… Alright?" He asked. Alicia took in a deep breath and sighed loudly.

"I don't know. She didn't eat last night. She just stayed in her room. I didn't hear her come out here once."

"Well I guess that's understandable." She nodded, and was almost glad he had nothing more to say on the matter. Not that she was sure he knew what else to say, it was something extremely unknown to him.

"I should head off. Diane will be waiting." He said with a smile, then a sigh, and finally with a gulp of coffee.

"You just got here." She protested, weakly.

"I know. I should still go. We could meet up later, if you have time?" He asked, his eyes beaming with eagerness. She thought about Grace, and what it would mean to leave her home alone. Alicia expected that Grace wouldn't want to go into the outside world yet, but also felt that alone time could be somewhat good for her right now. Which is what a teenage girl usually loves.

"I can figure something out. We can go grab some lunch?" Will stood up and loomed over her.

"Mmm, lunch?" He said cheekily. Alicia half-smiled and diverted her eyes up towards the ceiling, giving the over-dramatic "I'm thinking" look. She was, however, thinking back to some of her favorite lunches with Will a couple of years ago. Remembering how wonderful they were.

"I think lunch sounds great." She looked intensely into his eyes.

"Lunch sounds perfect." He leaned in and gently placed his lips over hers, which she immediately turned into a hungry, deep kiss, Alicia tasting the fresh coffee on Will's tongue. After a couple minutes of heartily making out, and hands going to places that were almost too early to even think about, Will put his coat back on and let himself out the door.

* * *

At close to 9.30 that morning, Grace stumbled out of her bedroom and laid eyes on Alicia, who had stretched herself out on the couch with a book in her hands.

"Morning." She said to her mother sluggishly. Alicia dropped the book to her chest.

"Morning Grace. How'd you sleep?" She asked with too much concern in her voice.

"Fine, I guess." She took a few steps forward towards the kitchen, but then stopped and turned to her mom again. She developed a confused look on her face.

"Did you wake me up earlier?"

"Oh, yes. I did." Alicia said soundly.

"Why?"

"I, uh, no reason." Alicia brushed it off, letting it seem to her daughter that her mother was going a little insane. Grace walked through to the kitchen and got herself a glass of orange juice. She had pulled the juice out of the fridge but walked back to her mother.

"Was someone here?"

"Huh?" Alicia stopped reading for a moment and looked to her daughter, who looked more confused than a minute ago.

"Did somebody come by this morning?"

"Yes. Why?" Alicia wasn't ready to give up that it was Will. She hoped she could just play out that it was some unimportant stranger, but that wasn't going to happen.

"Who?" It was definitely not going to happen. Alicia then decided she had to just tell Grace. It was going to have to happen sooner or later, she just wasn't hoping it had to be sooner.

"Actually, Will stopped by." She watched as her daughter froze up.

"Will… As in _Will?_" Alicia paused just to see her daughter's reaction to even just her saying the name. Whether she was a little freaked out by it, but there was no recognition of any emotion. Alicia closed her book and set it on the couch. She got up and moved towards her daughter.

"Yes, Will. Is that okay?" She asked anxiously. Grace nervously shrugged her shoulders.

"I guess so." She walked back into the kitchen and poured herself some juice. Alicia followed her and leaned on the bench, watching Grace.

"Are you sure? He was only here for a minute anyway."

"Mom, it's okay."

"If it makes you uncomfortable he doesn't have to come by here. I can talk to him." Alicia unnecessarily reasoned with Grace.

"It's fine, I don't care."

"Really?"

"Well now you're sort of weirding it out, and it's getting less fine." She said abruptly.

"Okay. I'll stop then." Alicia raised her hands in a stopping motion and nodded, more to herself than her daughter. "Do you want some breakfast?" She offered, as a less touchy subject.

"Not right now. I'll just make some toast or something later. Thanks though." Grace smiled to her mother and left the room with her drink.

Alicia didn't know how to help her daughter. She didn't know what else to do but let her know that she was there if Grace wanted to talk, or just hang out. It wasn't often that teenage girls wanted to just sit and talk with their mothers when something horrible and embarrassing happened to them. Of course, this was an extreme circumstance and it was treacherous waters Alicia would be entering. She felt awful for her daughter, but she felt bad for herself too. She absolutely hated and despised what had happened and thought it was wrong on every level there was, and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn't go out and stop the newspapers and magazines running the story and promoting ridiculous rumors and theories about why it had happened. Alicia was careful not to let the newspaper sit around, or even turn the TV on, knowing that this would be the story of the week. It's a 24 hour news circle but it's thrown in into daily segments as an "update" to the story, which would only be a nasty rumor about something relating vaguely to the main story. The only true thing Alicia knew about it was that Grace wasn't ready to talk about it, and it killed her.

Not wanting to intrude on Grace any longer, Alicia walked into her bedroom and decided to text Peter.

'_As soon as you know something, let me know. Grace seems okay but she won't talk or come out of her room. How is Zach?'_

She hit send, hoping he wouldn't call back. She was not in the type of mood to talk much. The only thing she wanted to do was make pancakes for her and her daughter so they could at least feel happy about those together. And she knew Grace would be pretty happy if they were blueberry pancakes, so Alicia headed to the kitchen and started on the batter.

"Grace, I'm going to work for a couple of hours." Alicia told her daughter, who was sitting comfortably on the couch watching some generic action movie that was too loud for Alicia.

"Okay. See you later. Love you." Grace called out half-heartedly.

"I love you too." And Alicia was out the door, absolutely over-excited to go meet Will for maybe some lunch but most definitely for some sex. She had to get her mind off of everything for a short while, and of course Will was the one to help with that. Alicia did feel guilty for not even going into the office for a couple of hours like she had told Grace, but Cary had assured her everything was under control and Alicia did lose one relaxation day so she had to have been granted an extra one, at least that's what she told herself to try and make it okay.

She arrived at the hotel Will was staying at, which did seem odd to her but she tried to let it go. She walked confidently through reception and went straight for the elevators. She had done that walk many times, but she noted how it felt different this time. It didn't feel so secretive and forbidden. It felt great, better even, because she knew she really didn't have to hide from anything. She didn't have to try and sneak inconspicuously out of the Lockhart/Gardner offices and pretend she was only going out for lunch that consisted of real food, when really it was a hot go-around with her boss.

Alicia stepped out of the elevator and walked to the room Will was staying in. She knocked lightly and she heard a jump somewhere inside the room, a loud bang, possibly a swear and then Will opened up the door looking startled.

"Everything okay in there?" She asked, trying to suppress a laugh. He smiled happily at her.

"Yep, fine. Just fine. Hit my leg on the chair but it's fine. Come in." He allowed her to enter and closed the door. Alicia wandered her way through the room and sat on the bed. She had started to think of why Will was in town in the elevator. He had said he would see Diane, so it was probably for a case but it was awfully interesting timing given her current situation. And including the stressed phone call to him the night before.

Those thoughts liked to sneak up on her when she was in a good mood, something would always worm it's way into her head and make her forget about how good she felt before it. She hated that her mind was doing that to her now, so she had to get it all out.

"Will, why did you come back?" She said nonchalantly. He looked at her, concerned by her question. His face then eased, like he had given up an internal struggle of some sort. He walked smoothly to Alicia and sat down next to her on the bed.

"For you." He said coolly, but not in the standoffish way, in the way that he used to use while they were in their affair. It always made her heart race.

"For me?"

"Yes. It sounded like you needed me last night. I don't want to assume things, but you just sounded… Frustrated. So I just thought, I could come back for a couple of days." She nodded along, listening to his every word. "It also gave me a reason to see Diane and everyone. I've missed them." He said in a surprising tone, like it was so strange to miss your friends. Alicia found it funny and let out a small laugh. Will joined in with her.

"What?" He asked, still laughing.

"It sounds like you're surprised you missed some people."

"Well I didn't think I would. I'm tough, I don't miss people much." He stated proudly, but jokingly.

"Oh yes. The tough lawyer type who doesn't miss the people he genuinely likes. I've got it now." He looked off to the side somewhere and tried to look handsome, which was effortless for him, and nodded his head slowly.

"Yep. I'm just so charming too, you know." Alicia laughed with him some more then leaned in closer to Will.

"I know how charming you can be." She whispered seductively in his ear.

"As a matter of fact, I've recently discovered some new charms." He looked into her eyes. Alicia felt the space around them grow much smaller and she always loved that moment, when everything else disappeared around them and it would be only them for a while.

"Well, please, show me." She said softly. Will only nodded his head slowly and leaned in more to kiss her, slowly and deeply. They took their time. It was probably the only time they've just kissed every inch of each other in a lunch hour, and it made Alicia feel better than ever. At least for that moment of theirs.

Her post-Will hazy-dazy phase soon ended when she arrived home. She discovered Grace still sitting on the couch, but she was in the arms of an unknown boy who Alicia could only assume was Connor, and hoped it was him otherwise she and Grace would have a lot of talking to do whether she liked it or not.

"Hiiii." She greeted them. Grace quickly turned around, shuffled out of Connor's embrace and stood up.

"Mom. I didn't think you'd be back so soon." She glanced down at her boyfriend (?) who looked a little scared, Alicia wouldn't blame him. In fact, she wanted him to be scared.

"Well, here I am." She paused for a moment, looking back and forth between them. "And here you are…"

"I- We- Um… Mom. This is Connor." She spoke nervously. Alicia focused her attention on the young man, who knew didn't know much about.

"Nice to finally meet you." She greeted him.

"Uh, nice to meet you Mrs. Florrick." She almost winced at the name, it sounded so normal and familiar and soon it no longer would feel that way. She managed to smile at the boy.

"Grace, come to the kitchen for a moment." She walked into the kitchen with Grace on her tail.

"Okay, don't freak out. We were just watching a movie and it's normal for the guy to have his arm around the girl." Grace started to panic and ramble on.

"Grace, it's fine. I wish you would have told me he was on his way over, but I'm not upset. Just stay out here, alright?" Grace started to roll her eyes and protest but her mother stopped it. "No, that's what is happening." Grace stood there quiet for a moment, but gave in.

"Okay. We'll stay out here."

"One more thing. I invited Will over for dinner tonight." Grace dropped her gaze to her hands, and began to fidget around in an uncomfortable manner.

"Why?"

"Because, he's only here for a couple of days and I just thought it'd be nice. And you mentioned you were okay with him being here."

"Fine. Then can Connor stay too?" The girl gazed up at her mother with pleading eyes. Alicia wanted her daughter to try and get through a dinner with Will, no matter how strange it would be, and she wanted it to be alone. But with all that was happening, with how sad and vulnerable she must be feeling, Alicia felt it was right to let her boyfriend or whatever he was, stay and be there for her in a time like this for Grace. In Alicia's heart, it seemed like the right thing to do for the moment, but her mind was telling her a completely different story. She told herself while watching Grace go sit back down that it was as if Grace were six years old again and really wanted a new stuffed bear after the other one had an eye ripped out by Zach. Alicia stitched the eye back on for Grace but it didn't fix the knowing that the bear wasn't the same so Alicia had given in to buying a new one. She wasn't sure if the old story exactly fit the moment right now, but she felt that it was close enough. She had to say yes to her daughter that day. She was a total sucker for giving in to her kids.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Well, long for me at least but… Yeah… I wrote half of this and then I saw 5x15 and couldn't find the strength to do much until now. I hope everyone is holding up okay. Holding up better than I anyway. I promise to really try and get another chapter out before this Sunday because I have a terrible feeling that I'll probably be broken for a while after it. But try and enjoy this chapter! I'll really try to have something sweet for the next one because we'll need it. Xx**

* * *

Will was most definitely nervous as he rode the elevator up to Alicia's apartment. He was expecting to be thanked very generously when he had showed up at her door that morning. He certainly wasn't expecting the very distant thing he got, whatever it was. He had wanted to show her that he was very concerned about her and her family, but apparently that didn't come across so well when he saw her. He was hoping for more that evening though.

The elevator stopped and he walked to her door. He stood there for a minute to prepare himself. He was going to be having dinner with Alicia, her kids and Grace's boyfriend, Will told himself. He had to get it is in head. It was definitely an odd situation to be in, but he needed to show Alicia that he was going to be there for all of that. He was up for it. He knocked lightly on the door and heard soft footsteps come towards the door. It opened slowly and behind the door was his beaming Alicia.

"Hey." She said softly, yet full of joy.

"Hi. Sorry I'm a little late." He hadn't meant to be but he didn't expect the traffic he got into.

"It's fine, Will. Really." She smiled widely at him and open the door further to let him in. Will brushed past her and left a quick kiss on her cheek as he entered the apartment. He heard her shut the door and turned back around to look at her. She spun around to see him and he shook his head slightly.

"What?" She said slowly, unsure of why he was looking at her.

"Nothing. I guess I'm just nervous." She took a deep breath and stepped closer to him. She gently rested her hands in his chest.

"You'll do great, I know it." She looked at him, her eyes full of excitement and encouragement. Will didn't know if that was what she was feeling but it made him feel better to know she was trying to comfort him. He loved it. She gave him a small smile and walked to the doorway through to the living room.

"Grace, Will's here." Alicia turned her head back to Will who hadn't moved yet, but he eventually took the small steps forward and saw Grace sitting on the couch with her school books around her, as well as a young man who Will could only assume was her boyfriend. They both moved out from underneath their study materials and went closer to the adults.

"Hi Grace. Good to see you." Will smiled warmly to the girl and she returned the smile, just as warm, which reassured Will somewhat. She could just be being polite.

"Hi Mr. Gardner." Will chuckled softly, hearing Alicia's daughter use such a formal greeting was a strange thing to him.

"You can call me Will." Grace nodded and smiled again.

"This is Connor, my.. boyfriend." Will noticed her slight pause before saying boyfriend, and he felt Alicia take in a sharper breath beside him. The boy reached out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, sir." Will took the kids hand and appreciated the strong grip, you can tell a lot about a person from their handshake. Or at least that was what people always said, Will couldn't tell anything about a person from their handshake.

"Really, everybody call me Will." Everyone chuckled together, and they all felt the awkwardness in the air fall away. Will was gradually feeling way better about the whole night, and he knew Alicia would feel the same. He was nervous for himself but he was even more nervous for her. Her kids were everything to her and he knew she would feel a lot of anxiety about how well the dinner went.

"Oh, mom, I got text from Zach a few minutes ago that he would be late. He said to start without him…" Grace mentioned in a guarded tone.

"Oh, okay. Thanks Grace." Alicia said, and her face changed from something happy to disappointment. "I'll check the food. It should be ready soon." She smiled to try and show that she was okay with Zach not being there for dinner, but obviously Will and probably Grace knew better. Connor was not interested, but Will wondered if Grace would say something to him. Will followed Alicia into the kitchen after giving a slight nod to the kids.

"I'm sorry Zach couldn't be here for dinner." He said to her in the most neutral tone he could manage. He didn't want to sound sympathetic to her; he knew she wouldn't accept it.

"It's fine, I know he'll be here at some point." She opened the oven and looked inside at whatever she had cooking. "Ten more minutes I think." She mumbled.

"Smells great, what is it?" Will took of the coat he was still wearing and put it on one of the chairs at the counter like he had already done that morning.

"Pasta bake, with some roasted vegetables."

"Sounds good." He tried to show her a smile but she didn't look to him. He watched her as she went to the fridge and got out some salad ingredients.

"Do you want a drink?" She offered, and briefly looked to him.

"Sure, whatever you're having."

"Some red fine with you?" Her tone kept getting gloomier.

"Perfect." She nodded and got a bottle of wine with two glasses for them. Will was continually getting more concerned about Alicia. She was happy ten minutes before or at least she seemed happy, but now she just appeared nervous and sad. Will hated her being that way.

"Hey." He said with his '_something's up, so tell me'_ tone. She met his eyes, and he saw that she understood what he was saying in that single word.

"It's nothing, Will. Forget it." But apparently she wouldn't share what was on her mind very easily.

"I'm not buying it." He smiled at her again, brightly, trying to lighten her mood.

"Fine, but I'm only telling you because you're you." She attempted to smile, and Will loved it, whether it was real or not. It was something. Alicia stepped towards Will so that they couldn't be seen from the living room.

"It's just everything, this Grace issue mostly, but something is happening with Zach and I don't know what." She took in a deep breath, reading herself to say more. "She's still crying about it. It only just happened, I don't blame her at all, and I never could. I just wish there was more I could do, Will. It's so frustrating that I can't do more." She said in a whisper just to make sure Grace couldn't hear anything. He hated to see her this way, so concerned about the bad things. He very well knew that she wasn't the type to open up and speak out about her issues, let alone her feelings. She was just private and he understood that, probably better than anyone.

"You're here for her. That's enough. It'd mean the world to her that you're just here." He smiled reassuringly at her.

"I should just trust that Peter has it handled." She said boldly, sure of herself.

"I'm sure he does. He'd never let anything hurt his daughter. No man would." He places his hand on her arm and stroked his hand up and down, comforting her. "Everything will be okay, Alicia. We'll have a great dinner and Zach will be here afterwards and we'll still all have time to get acquainted. It'll be great. I promise."

"You're right. I'm just worrying too much."

"You worry enough, you need to stop." He laughed softly with her and pulled her in for a warm hug.

"Okay, I'll get dinner ready. Can you help set up the table?" She asked him.

"Anything for you." He said with his best loving voice.

* * *

"That was the best meal I've ever had." Will said extremely enthusiastically at the dinner table. They had just finished their food and it went better than anyone expected. Conversation never lacked, it didn't get awkward. Will was nervous about what he would be able to talk to about Grace and her boyfriend but they found some common ground; travelling. Will told them all about his trip to Italy after college, and they hung off of every word. Alicia had heard about everything during his backpacking experience, but not for years so she was listening closely to all his embellishments on the stories, included with hand gestures, loud noises he made and raised voices. Connor told everyone at the table of his Thailand plans and Alicia found herself almost approving of it. She knew she shouldn't have to approve of it, but it was what a mother does when her daughter is involved with a boy. Will found himself wanting to take a trip there himself and be a part of the gigantic water fight. He'd heard rumblings of the event over the years but now that he was hearing more details he found it exciting. He hadn't had a lot of time to get out in the world and explore anymore.

"You were just talking about the amazing food you had in Italy, I hardly think mine compares." Alicia said light-heartedly.

"Think what you would like but this was the best thing I've eaten. Way better than hand-made fettuccini in Rome." He smiled brightly, and he caught a small giggle from Grace. Alicia just rolled her eyes and started to reach around the table for everyone's empty plates.

"Oh, I'll help with that." Connor stated and collected his plate along with Grace's.

"You don't have to."

"It's okay. I'd like to." Will looked over to Alicia and smiled and nodded slowly, almost telling her that he was a good kid and probably good for Grace.

"Well thank you, Connor." She said and he just smiled to her and took the plates into the kitchen, immediately rinsing them in the sink. Alicia soon followed with the serving dishes. Will just leaned back into his chair and exhaled loudly.

"I'm sorry Zach couldn't be here for this." Grace said.

"Don't worry about it Grace. We had a great time without him, didn't we?" He asked her, unsure of how she might answer.

"Yeah, it was great." She smiled kindly at him and looked across the table and into the kitchen. Will noticed her gaze become sweeter and she smirked a little. He turned his attention into the kitchen and saw Connor bent over the sink still rinsing dishes and then turning to load them into the dishwasher. Will didn't want to feel out of place by saying anything to Grace, but he knew that look on a girl's face while looking at a boy.

"You really like him." Grace whipped her head around and looked a little shocked, and embarrassed that Will caught her eyeing Connor. Will definitely felt like he over stepped his guest boundaries.

"I… Yeah, I do." She answered him coyly, and dropped her head to look into her lap. Will was shocked that she had answered him, he wasn't expecting it. He was a little touched that she felt comfortable enough to say it. He started to choose his next words carefully. He looked back into the kitchen and watched Alicia, remembering how he had felt when he first saw her and then when they started to be friends. His eyes glazed over a little when he saw her carefully maneuver around Connor but ultimately kept bumping into him. She'd laugh to herself and shake her head. He could hear them talking but didn't pick up a strong of words to know what it was about.

"You really like her." Grace shyly said to him. He looked to her, his mouth parted a bit, contemplating her words. He just sighed in defeat, she'd got him.

"Yeah, I do." She smiled to him kindly.

"She really likes you." Of course Will already knew this, but it meant something when Grace said it. It just meant more. During their time together a couple years ago Alicia hadn't wanted Will to meet her kids. It was probably just going to cause suspicions in their household so he understood. This time it felt more real because Alicia was allowing him into her home life. He knew he was completely accepted in her own personal life, but now with the kids, it just seemed better.

Everyone heard the front door open up and Zach call out.

"I'm home." Will heard the unenthusiastic tone in his voice. He got up from his chair and walked into the kitchen, looking down the hallway to the door Zach had just entered. The door was half open with Zach standing in front of it. Alicia walked past Will, gently placing her hand on his arm then letting it fall away as she continued to welcome her son. He watched her hug him tightly, she had really missed his company. She pulled back and looked out the door, her gaze lingered. The door started to open more and Will saw Peter standing at the doorway. Peter definitely saw Will because his posture became more poised and he looked irritated by seeing who was in his children's home. Will let his eyes fall onto Alicia who only looked awkward, she wasn't expecting it clearly. Which reassured Will somewhat, he thought. Grace appeared out from the living room doorway and smiled brightly when she saw her father. She went to him immediately and hugged him.

"Connor!" Grace called out, and Will looked to the boy who was standing by the fridge. He looked scared, nervous. He was about to meet the father. Will felt for him, it was never easy meeting the dad. Connor squeezed past him and joined the small gathering by the door. Zach mumbled something to Peter and gave him a wave then disappeared into the apartment. Alicia walked slowly back to Will who still didn't know if he had moved at all throughout witnessing all of this.

"I didn't know he was going to drop Zach off." She said softly to him as she reached him.

"Alicia, it's fine. You don't have to explain. It happens." He smiled at her, he really did understand. He wasn't in any position to object to any of it anyhow.

"So…?" She prompted him.

"So?"

"Do you think dinner was successful?" He couldn't tell if she was asking just for his own answer, or to assure herself of the night.

"It was great. Just like I promised. Grace is a special girl. She's pretty smart." He laughed at how odd he sounded. He didn't know what else to say, but it seemed enough to Alicia who looked incredibly relieved. He would have given her a small kiss but Peter was still at the door and probably watching their every move while trying to listen to his daughter speak so highly of her boyfriend.

"She is, isn't she?" Alicia smiled proudly. "I'm going to go get Zach." She took a deep and nervous breath in and left the room. Will flickered his attention over to Grace and Peter. He tried to listen out for any words being said. He didn't want to pry on their conversation but he was interested.

"I don't even know how you could think that!" Will heard Grace yell. He focused his attention to the goings-on at the door and saw Grace stomp away and towards her bedroom. Peter looked a little defeated and confused, Connor seemed uncomfortable to say the least. Will quickly thought whether he should interrupt them and see what had happened. He was probably going to always be in that space where he felt like he should do something to show his support of Alicia's kids but it was most likely going to be seen as over-stepping. He decided against his better conscious and walked to the door.

"Peter." He nodded respectfully to the man.

"Will." It was harsh, like snake bite.

"Everything okay?"

"I'd stick to my own business, Gardner." Will was expecting that. He knew he was encroaching but he kept going.

"Connor, is all good here?" Will tried that approach but the boy just looked intimidated and nodded tentatively.

"I guess that's all, Connor. I'll see you around." Peter said to the kid.

"Nice to meet you sir." He said quickly and made his way back inside with his head down low. Will couldn't let it slide. He knew that he had really only just met Grace and her boyfriend, and Peter would always be within his rights to try and intimidate his daughter's boyfriend but he had upset Grace and it didn't sit right with Will somewhere in his body.

"Scaring him, are we?"

"What are you doing here, Will? I thought you had moved away." His tone was bitter, he wasn't hiding behind anything apparently.

"I'm in town visiting."

"Oh, visiting? Is that all?"

"What did you say to that boy?" Will shot back, irritated.

"Get your nose out of it, Will. It doesn't concern you." Will then suddenly felt a hand rest on his back.

"Will." Alicia said softly to him. He turned to see her and she looked serious. It was his time to leave them alone to talk. "Go to the bedroom." She sternly said. Not sternly to him but she was in a serious mother mode and he eyed Peter viciously before he left. He was walking into her bedroom but still heard Peter faintly before Will got into the room.

"Oh, the bedroom. Nice one Alicia." Will closed the door and didn't care to try and listen to that conversation. He would never cross that line, he knew that if Alicia wanted Will to know whatever it was she would openly tell him. So Will would always respect her privacy, it was one thing she would always keep to herself, and rightfully so. It's all that everyone deserved.

* * *

It had been ten minutes before Will even heard the raised voices. Five minutes after that and he heard Alicia and Peter yelling at each other. He waited patiently, sitting on the end of her bed. The front door slammed shut and Alicia opened her bedroom door. She stepped in and breathed deeply, calming herself down.

"I have to talk to Grace quickly." She smiled sweetly at Will but exhaustion hit her face while doing so. He knew it wasn't easy, and Will started to feel guilty about saying anything to Peter. He knew it was a bad idea but he couldn't stop himself.

Another ten minutes had passed and then Alicia re-entered her bedroom, dropping her body down next to Will's and leaning her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. She pulled back shortly and stood back up.

"He's impossible! There is no reasoning with him at all." She threw her hands around in frustration.

"About what?"

"Grace was so nervous and having to introduce Connor to him, and you know what Peter does?" Will started to shake his head but she kept going without waiting for his reaction. "He asks the kid if he went onto that disgusting site to watch Grace! Threatens him that if he did then Grace would never be allowed to see him again. He didn't even have the decency to shield Grace from any of this, just asked him right in front of her!" Will didn't know what to say. He wanted to say something would comfort her, maybe telling her that he's just a jackass, but he knew that wouldn't help at all. Will wanted to tell Peter he was being a jackass, but on some insane level he almost understood Peter for asking it. Granted, he shouldn't have done it in front of Grace but he was only being concerned for his daughter.

"He definitely shouldn't have said it in front of Grace." He finally said.

"He shouldn't have said it at all." She said swiftly. Will took in a deep breath, trying to hold back his own opinion, but she recognized it that he wasn't saying something.

"What?" She asked slowly.

"I shouldn't say anything. It's your thing."

"Will, I'm telling you. I want you to know. I would like you to say something. I mean, if we are going to give us a go then you should probably get a say it things like these. I think." She looked confused. "I'm not sure how it actually works, but I would like your opinion." He wasn't sure if he should say anything how he really thought, but he took in her point about trying to make it work she he had to be honest. Honesty was everything.

"Okay, I do really think he shouldn't have said it with Grace standing there but on some level I understand where he is coming from." He observed her take that in and try to swallow it. It apparently wasn't going down well.

"You, Will Gardner, understand something that Peter Florrick did?" Complete disbelief in her voice.

"I think he was just watching out for his daughter."

"Will, you don't have kids, you think you understand but you don't." She said very nonchalantly. Will didn't appreciate the comment and he stood up.

"So just because I don't have kids I can't understand when a father would try to protect his daughter?" He threw his arms out beside him, as if he were in court and proving his point to the jury and the judge.

"No, Will, I'm sorry. But yes, you don't know until you are a parent yourself."

"Then I don't know why you even asked for my opinion."

"I thought you would agree with me."

"So I can only have an opinion about something if it matches what you think?" He started to raise his voice louder and sound harsher. He didn't like what she was saying.

"No, but I just figured—"

"Figured what?" He interrupted her. "That I can have a part in your kid's lives if it suits you? That I can be here but only if I'm already signed up to be on your side about every issue?" He said with that venom that he used towards her a few months ago. She was taken aback and she couldn't grasp on his words to form a response. Then she began to get her footing.

"None of that is true, and you know it. But you can't come here out of the blue in the middle of a family crisis and think everything is hunky-dory. You can't seriously think that showing up at my door in the morning will make these problems fade away. That is what you don't understand. When you have kids to look out for, everything comes first with them and we can't always just run away for a day and expect it to be okay. It's a huge process, it's hard."

"So is this about me coming by this morning? I only wanted to say hi when I arrived." That wasn't true, he wanted to let her know that he would be there for her instantly if she was going through something big, but apparently a gesture like that wasn't viewed as a nice gesture at all.

"No. Not really. Not entirely at least. I'm just saying that… I don't know! I feel guilty for not being here for my kids when you can so easily just be here for me. I should have been here!"

"So this is about you coming to New York? You blame me for all of this happening because you were with me?"

"No, Will! I don't blame you. I just shouldn't have tried to escape just because I didn't have my kids here."

"You are blaming me! I asked you to come. You wouldn't have if I never asked you." She stopped saying anything. She stopped defending her actions to visit him. She really was blaming him. "You know what? I'm just going to go. I'll let you sort this one out. I'm not a parent so I shouldn't have any say in the matters at hand." He walked past her and opened the bedroom door. He retrieved his coat from the kitchen and walked towards the front door.

"Will." She pleaded with him as he walked past her.

"Tell Grace and Connor I had a good time at dinner. I'm sorry I missed Zach and the chance to talk with them all more." He said monotonously, he opened the door and paused before he left. He looked towards her and gave her a moment of eye contact. He didn't know what his face showed. It could have been anything ranging from being hurt to extreme anger, but he couldn't tell, he wasn't sure he cared. He left and closed the door behind him. He walked into the elevator and didn't know if he should just go to his hotel or go for a drink somewhere. He didn't want to have a fight with Alicia. Everything was going well and then Peter showed up. He should have kept his mouth shut. If he did then Peter and Alicia probably wouldn't have yelled so loudly. If he did then he wouldn't have that ridiculous fight with Alicia. It was completely irrational, none of what they said made any sense, and they didn't mean it. At least Will didn't mean anything he said.

He decided not to dwell on it at the moment. He had to shake it all off first. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found her number. He dialed and pressed the phone to his hear. It picked up after the third ring.

"Will." She said his name like in was an inevitability.

"Hey K."

"What's up?"

"Honesty sucks."

"Yup." They both paused for a minute.

"Wanna grab a drink?" He eventually asked.

"Yup."


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this chapter but I'm rather proud of it and didn't want to wait to share it. Enjoy it, savor it.**

* * *

Will walked into the same bar he had walked into countless times before. He clearly remembered the gloomy atmosphere with all its dark wood paneling and dim lights. The same woman with her long dark chocolate hair was behind the bar. And Kalinda sat in her usual spot at the table in the back of the room beside a window. Out of all the things he had missed about Chicago, a drink with Kalinda was one of the top three. He crossed his way through the room, through the small amount of people and sat down in the chair opposite his dear friend, who already had ordered him a scotch.

"Hey Will." She said rather cheerfully for her and smiled warmly.

"K. Good to see you." He said affectionately.

"It's good to see you." They really weren't the hugging type of friends, even if they hadn't seen each other in months.

"So tell me how everything is!" He said positively. She tilted her head to the side slightly and raised an eyebrow.

"You call me with definitely something on your mind and you want to talk about me?"

"Well I'd like to catch up first. Before we got to me." She picked up her glass of scotch and took a sip.

"Things with me are… Fine. Now you."

"That's all I get after three months?" He said almost jokingly, he always wanted more but wasn't about to force her into saying anything she never wanted to.

"That's all there is." She shrugged her shoulders and looked out the window briefly. "How's New York treating you?" He thought on it for a minute.

"Well. Things are good there." She nodded thoughtfully and took another sip, he doing the same.

"So what's going on, Will?" She said in a get-to-the-point-already way. He took in a deep breath.

"I saw Alicia this morning when I arrived."

"And?"

"And… I don't think she wanted me to." He sipped his drink and let it burn the back of his mouth for longer than normal.

"I think it's a rough time for her." So she knew. Will contemplated that. Of course she knew, Kalinda knew everything and it wasn't like this was some small issue. Every paper and magazine was printing the Grace story.

"I just thought that… I don't know what I thought. Anyway, we had a fight just before I called you. I went there for dinner and Peter showed up at the end." He leaned back in his chair and shook his head. He really did not like Peter at all, never did.

"What'd you fight about?" Kalinda seemed to be completely nonchalant about everything. Will didn't know how she could be so impartial. Or at least always sound that way, she was such a mystery.

"I don't think she trusts me when it comes to her kids." She fell silent. A lot of people at Lockhart/Gardner knew that she cared for her children more than anything, and Kalinda was one of the only people of them all who knew just _how_ much she did. So evidently she would be silent to when she learnt that Alicia didn't trust Will, of all people, with her kids.

"She cares about them, Will. I know you could be trusted but she might not yet."

"I think she trusts _me_ but it's like she doesn't trust my opinions, even if she asks."

"Are you agreeing with her or challenging her own thoughts?"

"What difference does it make?" He was honest on that. What difference did it really make? He thought the point was she could hear his own opinion and respect it. No matter what the answer, she should have respected the views of the man she claimed to love.

"To Alicia it makes all the difference." He went quiet. He had no idea how to tackle it all. If whether he should just escape back to New York and call her in a few days.

"Maybe I'll just go back to New York and work it out after." She rolled her eyes at his comment.

"You can't just run away." She was right. He had to fix whatever had gone wrong with the relationship. If it was actually called that. They were planning to wait six months.

Oh…

"We'd made a plan."

"You what?" She asked.

"Before I left. We made a plan to wait six months before we started to be together." He said softly, realizing his own mistake as he told his friend. She just looked expectantly at him, waiting for the rest of his story. "We decided to wait so she could figure everything out with Peter. The other day I asked her to come out to the city for the weekend and that's when… The Grace thing happened." She opened her eyes wider, knowing where he had gone wrong.

"I understand you wanted to see her, but you should have stuck to the plan."

"I know. I know. I was being stupid."

"She would do anything for you, Will. I know that much. If you ask her to do something then she'll do it. So when she asks you to agree with her, you should." It didn't sit right with him though. He knew he should agree with Alicia and do whatever she asked of him but he needed to have his own voice too.

"It's too complicated." He finally said, wishing the whole painful ordeal never happened.

"That's why I stay out of complications." She laughed softly and he joined in. He'd really missed the cryptic wisdom of Kalinda. She calmed down and looked directly into his eyes. "You should call her."

* * *

Alicia sat on the end on her daughter's bed, wondering how she could have grown up so much and be so grown up in light of everything the past few days. Yes, she'd been small and vulnerable when it first happened but Grace pushed through it in one single day to come out strong. Alicia wanted to hope Grace had learnt that from her, but was terrified because the only reasons Alicia had been that way was because of Peter. She thought it was better to be strong when everything seemed like a mess but she didn't like how she had to use that hidden talent and let her kids see it.

"Connor seems nice." Alicia brought up. They had been sitting there for five minutes not saying anything. Alicia just needed to be in the direct vicinity with her kids after arguments with Peter _and _Will. It was too much.

"He was trying hard to impress you and Will." Grace said shyly, hesitantly.

"Well he impressed." She smiled kindly for her daughter. "I'm sorry dad had to ask him that…" She sounded out the 'T' perfectly.

"It's okay, I guess. That's just what dad's do, right?" Alicia nodded slowly in response.

"I…" Grace looked questioningly at her mother, silently asking her to say what was on her mind. "So, what did you think of Will?" Alicia needed to know. She didn't want to even think about Will at the moment but she was desperate to know what Grace thought.

"He's nice. I guess I like him. Is it… Like, are you guys… Together?"

"I guess. Well, yes. I mean, we were going to wait until he moved back here, to Chicago but I think we're still mostly together in the meantime." It was as honest as she could get. She barely knew what was happening. She had truly only wanted to wait the whole six months and be prepared by that time. This halfway through business caught her off-guard and she couldn't comprehend right now how much he had really wanted to be with her.

"Well, I like him. I'm just glad I got to meet him."

"Me too. Okay, you should get some rest. Try not to think about anything too much, okay?" Grace only nodded, fully understanding what her mother meant. The messages from people were only getting worse. There was countless online forums discussing the whole thing and it made Grace feel sick just knowing it was all happening. Alicia let her climb under her covers and kissed her forehead while tucking her in. Grace hated to admit that even though she was almost an adult she still liked her mother tucking her in. Alicia turned off the lights and left the room, heading straight into Zach's. She eased open the door and saw her son sitting as his desk on his computer with earphones in. She opened the door completely, which he must have seen out of the corner of his eye because he took out the earphones and swung his chair around to face her.

"Homework?" Alicia asked quietly.

"Yeah." He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

"I wanted you to meet Will. I'm sorry he had to leave. It was… work." Yes, she'd lie because her kids did not need to know why he had really left. She couldn't even imagine what they'd say if she told them the honest truth. They might just be confused and back away slowly.

"Yeah, sorry I wasn't here for dinner." Alicia felt like he didn't really mean it. She thought it was strange because he had said that he wanted her to be happy and if that meant being with Will, then it was okay. She had to discuss with Zach why he was being so distant, but she didn't know how to approach it. It could be any number of things, most of which she had no intention of thinking about, but she needed to know. She moved across the room and sat down on his bed, crossing her legs and resting her hands in her lap.

"Is something wrong, Zach?" He looked confused. That was something, maybe.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… You've been a little distant recently, and I just wanted to let you know that whatever it is, you can tell me." She needed to play the _"It's okay whatever it is"_ card, just to make him tell her. It was upsetting her to say the least.

"It's nothing, really mom." She obviously didn't believe it. Something was up and she needed to know. She wasn't sure whether she needed to know for his own assurance or for her own distraction from the previous events of the night.

"You know you can tell me, right?" She had a hint of desperation in her voice, but tried to mask it with affectionate concern.

"I know. I just… It's nothing."

"Is it about Grace?" She shyly asked, truly not understanding what had happened to her son.

"No." He looked shocked that she would even say it, or think it, and it hurt Alicia on the inside to think her son was being so detached.

"Okay… You really won't tell me?" She now let it show on her face that she was hurt, not disappointed really, just sad that he wouldn't tell her. She would never let her kids believe she was ever disappointed in them because she never was.

"I just have to sort through it alone."

"Okay. I'll leave it be. I love you, you know that."

"Yeah, I know. I love you too, mom." She smiled softly at him, wishing he'd tell her what was wrong. She couldn't dwell on it. He'd tell her when he was ready, and she had to accept it. She had to.

Alicia stood up slowly and gave Zach a soft kiss on the top his head, and left the room shutting the door behind her. She didn't know what to do next. She thought about cleaning up the kitchen some more but she had no interest in doing housework, which was odd. Every time she didn't know what to do or how to feel she'd occupy herself with simple housework. Except the fight, _and it was a fight, wasn't it?, _had her completely upside down. It rattled and chilled her bones and she hated how much Will could affect her, but in the strangest of ways she loved it too. She loved him so much and didn't know why he couldn't just accept her views on her children and agree with her.

She meandered her way through the apartment to get to her bedroom, kicking the door closed and collapsed on the bed. She was tired and wanted to go back to the morning and just be happy to see Will. She tried hard to be happy, but it was such a shock for her. It was nice to see him and know that when she was in a bad place he would drop his work in New York and make an excuse to come back just to see her. It warmed her heart, but she couldn't help but think that they had made a plan in the first place and once they strayed from it, all hell broke loose. It wasn't just the two of them anymore, it was everyone.

She wanted to tell him she loved to see him though. She was a stubborn woman, and she knew it but knowing that fact wouldn't make her less so. She always stuck to her guns and the only one who could truly get under her skin was Will. He ran through her veins like a hurricane and the feeling was so intoxicating that she often didn't realize how much he really meant. It seemed like a contradiction but having such intense feelings caused that blind spot everyone has to grow larger. She always felt it when he was around. In fact, even when he wasn't around, but right now as she pulled a pillow close to her body she was painfully aware of the fact that the hurricane had calmed to a slight hum and she missed the excitement he brought her.

She felt it deep inside of her that she was fighting for what she believed but was it really worth it? Was it really worth not having him right beside her and hold her, telling her he loves her? No, she thought. No matter how stubborn she is she has to make sacrifices for the person she loves. She has to let him have his own say to the questions she asks him. And if that meant having opinions on her kids, then so be it. She'd accept it. If they were going to make it work in three more months, they had to make it work now.

She crawled her way up the bed and reached for her cell phone on the nightstand. She looked at the screen and found she already had one missed call, _from Will._ And she felt it again, the hurricane started coming back and her vessels start whirring. She immediately called him back and he answered on the second ring.

"I'm sorry. I should have agreed with you." What a starter line.

"No, _I'm sorry. _You get to have your own views, Will. I didn't mean to say you couldn't." She was sympathetic and all she wanted was to be with him.

"No. They're your kids and your opinion is the one that matters."

"If you are going to be in my life, then you are going to be in theirs and your opinion matters too. I just got scared." She found it then, _scared._ It was a scary thought to let this man in her kid's life. He was a good man and Grace liked him. She was sure Zach would too, but it didn't let the fact disappear to know it's a difficult change for them, no matter how old they were.

"You don't have to be scared. I'm going to be here throughout all of it. I don't care if we have a fight about it, you can trust me because I love you and we'll get through it _together._" It was like she had been waiting to hear those words. She can't pin down why, but she needed to hear that he was going to be there for everything and they would go through everything together. She needed to know it was a _'we' _and not just _'you and me'_.

"I love you. Honestly, Will, more than you can imagine. Probably more than you could handle." She giggled softly.

"You're everything to me, I love you too." He said quietly.

"I miss you. I miss you here with me." She admitted, nowhere near ashamed.

"I'm sorry for walking away. I miss you too."

"When are you leaving?" She heard him take in a deep breath.

"Tomorrow afternoon." She wasn't sure what she was asking, but she wanted- strike that, _needed, _Will by her side.

"I know it's late… But, do you want to come back over?" She asked with reserve and hope in her voice.

"Are you sure?" She deeply appreciated him asking.

"I'm sure."

"I'll be there soon." She wasn't thinking about what the kids would think. She didn't want to let them think that it was going to be any more than Will having a sleepover, and maybe it wouldn't be anything more than that but it was a touchy subject to approach and Alicia had serious doubts if whether she should tell them at all. Maybe she could let them fall asleep and sneak Will into her bedroom. No, she couldn't do that. She'd tell them.

"Okay, I'll see you soon." She hung up with Will and made her way back to the kid's rooms. She told them separately that Will would be coming back, they were fine with it. And to make sure they knew there was to be no "funny business" they responses she got back were:

"Ew, what, no, I wasn't even thinking that! Gross." From Grace, and

"Oh my god, stop talking mom. It's fine, just, whatever." From Zach.

She wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse but when she opened the front door to Will, she felt better.

"Is it just me or do you look better than you did a couple hours ago?" He greeted her. She laughed, feeling her stomach flip from that hurricane feeling coming back to full force and pulled him in for a kiss, which he turned into something deep and passionate like he hadn't kissed her for years. She eventually pulled away from it, fresh out of breath.

"Oh god, I told the kids there wouldn't be any funny business." She said in a hush-hush tone as she closed the front door and pulled Will into her bedroom.

"I wasn't expecting any… _Funny business_." He laughed throatily, grinning at her and held her by the waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her.

"Oh no, there will be funny business." She whispered into his mouth and kissed him soft and sweet, which Will continued to make it more forceful and they slowly stripped of their clothes and fell back onto the bed holding onto each other as tight as they could.

* * *

After their intense and passionate round of love making, Alicia rested on her side with Will's arms around her, lightly drawing circles on her back which constantly sent hot shivers up her spine that radiated through her body. The room was dark, save the moonlight. Alicia rested her head so close to his and looked into his eyes, getting lost in them and the love in them for her. The moonlight gently lit up their faces. Every now and then a cloud would cast over the moon and they'd be in complete darkness. They'd use this opportunity to gently leave kisses all over each other's bodies. Neither of them wanted to fall asleep, they just wanted to be awake with each other forever.

"Will?" She whispered into the shadows.

"Mmm?" Is arose from deep in his chest and she could feel the vibrations against her own body.

"I don't want to wait three months." He stopped brushing his fingertips across her back and brushed some of her hair back.

"I don't want to either." She closed her eyes and rested her hand on his chest, feeling the soft heartbeat underneath her fingers. The rhythm of it however was not slow, it raced, which made her own heart skip a beat then pick up the pace.

"I don't want you to leave… me." She said softly.

"So I won't." She couldn't tell if he was being completely honest. He probably did have to go back to New York and he'd only leave temporarily, sure, but he'd leave. She couldn't help but notice how insanely happy she was in that moment. And if he were to leave, her happiness level would drop below euphoric. She knew that the type of happiness she was experiencing right now, with Will holding her tighter against his body and letting his tongue drift into her mouth, this type of ridiculous and senseless happiness was momentary. Love wasn't easy, she had learnt that over the years, but Will made it seem so effortless. It was a crazy, unconditional and irrational love and it was the best thing she had ever known. The days with him were something different to these nights. In the night her heart lit up like the Eiffel Tower.

"I was wrong…" She started, unsure of where she was really going but if anything were to be said, right now when the two of them felt like the same person, the only one in the world.

"About what?"

"When I said we would only last a week… A few years ago."

"I remember."

"I think that if we really tried it would have felt like this." He paused and his breathing slowed.

"Alicia?" God, she could get used to the low husky way he'd say her name like that.

"Mmm?"

"Nothing will ever feel as great as this moment right now. You're the most beautiful person I've ever met. Inside and out. Your empathy, your kindness, your intelligence. It's the greatest combination and I don't want to ever not be with you." Alicia couldn't be sure but her heart may have grown three sizes because of the way he was projecting his own love into her soul like the light from the moon was projecting onto their faces. "When you came back into my life, I felt like the luckiest person because I got to be your friend again. It was like was numb before, and with you I felt everything again."

She leaned in the small amount she had to and kissed him desperately. She needed to taste the words coming out of his mouth. She needed to taste the way he loved her. The hand she still had over his chest pushed him over in the bed so he was on his back. She slowly moved her body over his and straddled him. She leaned down to kiss him again, and again, and again, letting the absurd, the illogical, the astonishing amounts love he had for her in.


End file.
